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sudden onset of bed wetting

knackeredmumknackeredmum Member Posts: 2
edited September 2014 in Parents and carers
My 10 yr old daughter with Down's Syndrome has started wetting the bed, carpets, on top of toilet with seat down. I have tried ignoring it and just washing everything, tried pullups for older kids, but she takes them off in the night and pees on bed anyway, tried waking her and taking her to toilet - all have failed. It feels like this is deliberate, as when her bed is wet she comes into my bed each time. She gets plenty of attention from me and it otherwise happy. Any advice please.

Replies

  • mercurymercury Member Posts: 1
    Hello knackered mum
    Please accept my apologies in advance if you have ruled out any of my suggestions. The thing with any behavioural issue is that it always raises lots of questions so please be patient with me!
    Generally speaking a new behaviour suggests that something has changed form the person's point of view. We tend to look for major changes as an explanation (i.e. things that we think would change our behaviour) but from your daughter's point of view a very small change could be really significant. It could also be that a change that we think is positive could be just the opposite for her. Can I assume that you have ruled out any physical causes such as an infection? It could be that the first time this happened it was the result of an infection but if it resulted in the unintentional reward of being able to sleep in your bed it then becomes a behaviour that is useful to your daughter. If it is useful then it is serving a purpose for her that other behaviours have not achieved. Once she is in your bed does the bed wetting behaviour still occur? You could try turning this sequence on it's head by letting her go to sleep in your bed (mattress protection and a Kylie sheet recommended!) for a few nights and see if the behaviour still occurs. If it stops then it does suggest that it is deliberate but of course you then have the problem of getting her back into her own bed! If it does not stop then I would be looking for a physical cause. The thing with any behaviour is that a step by step process is needed to try to understand the cause or purpose. The above suggestions are therefore only the start of the process of ruling out possible purposes or causes. No answers at this stage but maybe some clues. Good luck.
    Best wishes
    Keith Gwilym
  • toasttoast Member Posts: 47 Listener
    I know this is an old thread but I just wanted to say thanks - this info is really useful! My son has started doing this after being dry at night for a couple of years. I put it down to him starting school but interesting to note that infection could be a possibilty also. Will deffo bear that in mind and get checked out

    Its so easy to get cross and loose sight of the bigger picture when stuff like this happens isn't it?
  • JimJamsJimJams Member Posts: 175 Listener
    I think new behaviours whether unwanted or otherwise have different meanings to our kids than to us and it is difficult to figure out why they happen. My son behaves oddly in situations where he is not comfortable and wants removed, rather than saying I want to go, he will act oddly until it starts to bother other people then I will take him away. Whatever the reason for the bed wetting your child is trying to tell you something in her own way, and you will find the answer you have to put yourself into her world and try and figure it out through her eyes. Thats what I try to do, it is difficult, you are not alone.
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