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Visiting family & friends

ClairqClairq Posts: 2Member Listener
edited May 2014 in Parents and carers
Hi,
This topic may have been covered before. I just wanted some ideas on visiting family & friends. We find it hard to visit people as we take a lot of equipment with us. Is it unfair to keep asking people to visit us instead or decline family events as it usually ends in exhaustion!
Thank you :-)

Replies

  • DoctorDoctor Posts: 5Member
    Tricky one . Our son is severely autistic and over the years invitations have got less and less, I can not tell you how hurt I was when one of my best friend 's daughter got married and no invite even to the evening disco which he would have loved. Will never feel the same again!
    We have learned over the years it is easier to invite friends to us (, that is if they want to come!)think our children are happier in their own surroundings but I am sure like me you feel as is you ate watching the world from the outside,like a parent at the school gates.
    I wish you luck and maybe you are blessed with friends who have more empathy than mine.x
  • SpecialNeedsJungleSpecialNeedsJungle Posts: 8Member Listener
    For us, the world quickly divided into families with SEN kids and those without. It is a different world- similar to those who have kids and those who don't- they can sympathise but they can never really empathise.
    Your true friends will understand and either visit you or make it easy for you to go to them by asking what would help. Your true friends will understand that your disabled child is an integral part of your family and consider their needs as part of the package.
    If you really want to go to them, speak frankly to your friends about what would help to make it a successful trip; what THEY can do to help. They may well be desperate to help but just don't know what to do or the right words to ask you. If you are up front with them about your family's travelling needs, chances are you'll get a positive response or they'll understand how hard it is and think coming to you is the best option.
    Do you really want friends who make your life harder?
  • MixxiMixxi Posts: 32Member
    Do keep going out and about. The more you do it the better your friends and family will understand what's happening with you and it's good for your child to get used to different environments. I'd invite them to come to you as well though.
    I must say that the invitiations do tail off as they get older. My son used to be included in invites for birthday parties when he was little - now, no, he doesn't get invited anywhere. I'm a bit sad about it - but luckily he couldn't give a stuff. True autistic style :)
  • JimJamsJimJams Posts: 175Member Listener
    Hi I find the same that you dont get invited anywhere unless its from other parents of disabled children, I see lots of things on facebook that we are not invited to which is very sad for us. I take my son out as much as possilbe to socialise no one really visits us either so the only option we have it to get him out ourselves. THis has helped him immensely with noisy crowded places, he even orders up his own food and drinks now, does not like waiting for them though, but as long as i take familiar things out with me to keep him occupied he is fine. the all you can eat buffets are the best as there is no waiting at all.
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