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JGMJGM Posts: 27Member Listener
edited December 2016 in Disabled people
I saw my G.P. yesterday,he told me to phone the hospital,I did,and àI predicted,no appointments,went back today,don't think he was very pleased to see me,but he phoned the hospital,no appointments till February,so,he arranged for me to talk to the Duty Proffesional,he was away from his desk when I called,but the receptionist took my details,he called back,can't see a psychiatrist till January 6th,he suggested a place I could go to see people,not for treatment,just to hang out,I want treatment that will make me feel better,although,at my age,what's the point.In chess it's considered bad form to stretch a game out to the bitter end,when it becomes hopeless you're supposed to knock your king over and resign,do you think we should go on living as long as we can keep breathing,or,if you're still a failure when you reach a certain age,if so what age do you think the cut off should be?should you go to the top of the multi story car park and jump?Even if I were cured tommorow I feel I'm too old now,I don't think people my age get breaks,I',all be a failure till the day zI die,why should I go on living?What really hurts is I came so close to being a success,I was claiming Unemployment instead of disability,after I got out of the Looney bin I was supposed to go back for outpatient treatment on wendsdays,but,because my name Beguins with "M" I had to sign on on wendsdasys,then,as punishment for Bering "unreasonable", I was mentsly I'll and on no meds,no bloody wonder I was unreasonable,they stopped my benefits,I went to my G.P.,got put on meds,got better,was offered a place at The Sir Henry Doulton School zOf Sculpture,but they went bankrupt in the recession,the bankers who caused the recession with their Credit Default Swaps and Colateralised Debt Obligations got a bail out,but no bail out for legitimate businesses,I've Googled people who completed the course,they've all got 2onderful carers now,they'r3 living the life I should be living,but,my career's over,I'll never have a day's happiness as long as I live because I,',m afsiliure and there,'s no hope for someone my age,I don't,'t see the point in being as live at 55,who ever heard of a guy in his fifties becomeing successful?I hate life,I want to die,but I'm too much of a coward to go to the top of the local shopping centre and jump,so,I've got to go one living even though life is utterly pointless.

Replies

  • Chris_ScopeChris_Scope Posts: 695Member Pioneering
    Hi @JGM I'm sorry to hear you've had so much trouble getting an appointment and hope that when you see your psychiatrist in three weeks time things improve for you.

    I'm also curious to know if you have considered pursuing your interest in sculpting via other means? There are many resources online for learning sculpting (I don't know how much experience you already have) such as this free sculpting course which has lots of tutorial videos, and this slightly more advanced set of online sculpture classes for around £5 per course.

    You can also find lots of (quite non-mainstream) examples of sculpture online at Deviant Art which might be useful for inspiration. 

    I mention these in case they are of interest, as if you feel that sculpting is something which is important to you then it may be something worth pursuing regardless of whether you're enrolled on a course. You may also find it therapeutic and cathartic to do something artistic.

    I hope this helps, and I wish you luck in accessing the help you feel you need soon. The community is always here for you.
  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 7,732Member Disability Gamechanger
    Charles Darwin was 50 years old before he published On the Origin of the Species. Samuel L. Jackson  was 46 years old (and in recovery from addiction to cocaine and heroin) before he starred alongside John Travolta in Pulp Fiction. And a few artists were late bloomers too.

    We all have lots of different barriers to our lives but I think we need to work personally on the things we want in life, what is right for one person isnt for another.  I hope you can find a way to follow your dreams.

    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • chasnbonschasnbons Posts: 60Member Courageous
  • JGMJGM Posts: 27Member Listener
    I'm 55,I was reading an article about middle aged people who lost their pensions,it went on to define middle aged as being between the ages of 45 and 54,first you get depressed because you wake up one morning and you,'re midleaged,then you get even more depressed because you're no longer midleaged.I wasted my life,I was offered a place at The Sir Henry Doulton School Of Sculpture as soon as my psychiatrist prescribed meds that worked,if I'd gone to see him 2 years earlier I'd've been admired 2 years earlier which means I'd've graduated just before they went bankrupt,why didn',t I seek treatment 2 years earlier?Is it possible to post photos on this site?I'd like to show you one of my statues so you can decide for yourself whether I'm just some deluded wannabe or if I really could've made it.
  • Chris_ScopeChris_Scope Posts: 695Member Pioneering
    edited December 2016
    Hi @JGM, you can post photos using the icon above the comments box which looks like a piece of paper - I would stress though that no one here is in a position to tell you how good it is (I for one am definitely no art critic) , and art appreciation is very subjective.

    I would also say that life doesn't necessarily have to follow the same path going forwards as it has in the past, and it's never too late to pursue something that you are passionate about and which you feel you have a talent for. 
  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 7,732Member Disability Gamechanger
    I totally agree @Chris_Scope - I have a friend who did an art degree and then life got in the way, as it tends to do, he decided in his mid 40's to quit his job and pursue his passion in art.  

    Art is so subjective, what I adore, my husband isn't sure on and what my friend finds genius, I just don't get!  Though I always respect anyone who is creative and brave enough to make their own art!
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • Chris_ScopeChris_Scope Posts: 695Member Pioneering
    Hi @JGM, I was just wondering how you're getting on? Did you get to see your psychiatrist OK?
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