If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.

Being a disabled parent

AlexAlex Scope community teamPosts: 1,325Scope Team Scope community team
Great blog from a disabled dad over on Disability Horizons:

http://disabilityhorizons.com/2017/01/being-a-disabled-parent-unlocking-your-heart/

Thought other dads on the community might be interested. Would love to know how your personal experiences compare -  @asam82 @Seachy @speedincaesar @Zec Richardson 

Reminded me of this great discussion last year about being a dad:
https://community.scope.org.uk/discussion/29575/whats-the-best-thing-about-being-a-disabled-dad-dad-to-a-disabled-child



Replies

  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Scope community team Posts: 7,647Administrator Scope community team
    Great article! As a mum with a chronic illness, I always worry about what effect it will have on my kids.  

    I hope that it will teach my kids to be more open, empathetic and caring.
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • Zec RichardsonZec Richardson Pioneering Posts: 147Member Pioneering
    Well I'm an old boy now, 50 this year and so I am a disabled Gramps!

    I first started using a wheelchair when my daughter's were about 14 and 16 and so they were very helpful, but now my youngest daughter is a mum.

    Oscar is now 2 and his little sister is due in the next few weeks, being a grand parent means that you approach it with experience and so it is easier.

    My daughter lived with us until Oscar was about 18 months and my initial worries about not being able to join in with his play was wrong. He doesn't think anything about me being in a wheelchair as its all he has ever known.

    He knows that Gramps reads books, tells him about the world and fixes things when they are broken and he knows I can't join in with some of the play.

    I get asked by him all the time "you okay GaGa", yes my wish to be called Gramps has been ignored and he calls me GaGa, he is always fussing over me and if I'm in my wheelchair he has to push me making ambulance sounds.

    From a very young age Oscar would sit on my lap and he knew to lean back and sit still, as long as my pain wasn't too bad he would ride on my lap around the supermarket and people seemed amazed that he would sit so nicely.
    Children know that we need assistance, it's been proven that babies stay still more for a disabled parent during happy change 

    I get tired easily when is here, which is most days but I wouldn't change a thing, seeing the world through a child's eyes is amazing and I think that disabled people make great parents or not just like able bodied parents. 
    It's a case of learning, making mistakes but it's about that built in urge to be a parent and we are all entitled to that.



  • SeachySeachy Connected Posts: 7Member Connected
    Brilliant article. Being a disabled dad has a roller coaster of emotions some good some bad and some truly inspiring. It is about time I shared some of these. 
  • mossycowmossycow Pioneering Posts: 486Community champion Pioneering
    Really appreciated this post and replies.

    "It suddenly sunk in – I do more for my family than I’ll ever know just by being there and by loving them."

    Its true, and sometimes hard to remember. 

    "I'm trying to live like a random poem I read that ended 'to bloom where we are planted"

Sign in or join us to comment.