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Disabled and Cute?

Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 7,732Administrator Scope community team
edited February 2017 in Dating and relationships
There is a hashtag on twitter at the moment called DisabledandCute - it is a celebration of people who are disabled and want to shout out about the fact that disability doesn't stop you being attractive, fashionable and well, cute.

I think that many disabled people feel they aren't included in topics about sex, dating, feeling sexy and beautiful and maybe a hashtag like this can help boost confidence and also raise awareness? It is a really positive and lovely movement with lots of great people getting involved.

What do you think? 
Scope
Senior online community officer

Replies

  • Chris_ScopeChris_Scope Posts: 695Member Pioneering
    On Twitter, LittleBambiee says: "I think its important to encourage such a movement. I'd love to see this # take off with couples and individuals pics being posted"

  • GeoarkGeoark Posts: 1,184Community champion Pioneering

    There has been a number of exhibitions with disability and sex as the topic.

    Two came to mind, one of which I cannot remember the name of the photographer, the other Enhance the UK - Undressing Disability I could find.

    http://metro.co.uk/2015/10/30/stunning-lingerie-shoot-shows-sexual-side-of-people-with-disabilities-5469882/

    http://enhancetheuk.org/enhance/

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • FundamentalistFundamentalist Posts: 134Member Courageous
    Hi from Fm. I don't want to sound dreadfully negative and put a dreadful dampener on it but what about those so severely disabled like ME who are effectively locked out of love life just like being locked out of "social" life and work etc.? Far too many folk, especially those lucky enough to be normal just keep whinging and moaning that they haven't got this, that or whatever that someone else has got when they obviously don't realise just how much they HAVE got, they can still have a loving partner, and some lovely bonny little kids and a family and some degree of social life and they can travel and enjoy baking, frying heat and hot sun and all manner of rowdiness etc. and they just casually take it all for granted but they still moan. Those things are all priceless things which can't be bought by anyone, no matter how rich they might be. It's folk like me who can't have those sort of things which are supposed to be free for anyone, I have plenty of possessions but not what can't be bought, and that's what I miss and stuff like stupid "valentine's" just rubs my face right in it. I really doubt if valentine's is really about "love" at all, I think it's just another commercial thing to make another load of cash for those who least need it. Fm.
  • GeoarkGeoark Posts: 1,184Community champion Pioneering

    Hi FM,

    While I am not unsympathetic to your issues and the problems they cause you, the simple truth is many disabled people find themselves cut off from these same things you complain about not because of their disabilities but because of public preconceptions of some types of disabilities.

    Yes they can still have these things, but often don't because of the preconceptions of others in general. When my daughter first got her diagnosis I was invited to a parent support group. One of the parents said they thought our kids should be steralised so they could not reproduce more. Strangely enough this concept did not include her, despite having proven track record of producing such children.

    Is it wrong then to tackle these preconceptions and prejudice because for some such things will never be possible? I would prefer to carry on challenging them so more people enjoy rich and fulfilling lives.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • Zec RichardsonZec Richardson Posts: 147Member Pioneering
    There's an Instagram account called disabled_fashion and they post photos of disabled people looking good.

    Sexy, handsome, pretty, confident and it is so nice to see!
  • PSHEexpertPSHEexpert Posts: 168Volunteer community adviser Pioneering
    There's another Instagram account called changingthefaceofbeauty which also has some great images.  I'm off for a look at disabled_fashion!


    - Gill 
  • FundamentalistFundamentalist Posts: 134Member Courageous
    Geoark said:

    Hi FM,

    While I am not unsympathetic to your issues and the problems they cause you, the simple truth is many disabled people find themselves cut off from these same things you complain about not because of their disabilities but because of public preconceptions of some types of disabilities.

    Yes they can still have these things, but often don't because of the preconceptions of others in general. When my daughter first got her diagnosis I was invited to a parent support group. One of the parents said they thought our kids should be steralised so they could not reproduce more. Strangely enough this concept did not include her, despite having proven track record of producing such children.

    Is it wrong then to tackle these preconceptions and prejudice because for some such things will never be possible? I would prefer to carry on challenging them so more people enjoy rich and fulfilling lives.


    Hi from Fm. What do they mean they should be sterilised? How outrageously prejudiced! It's a good job I wasn't there. If I had a disabled daughter and someone made an outrageous comment like that about my daughter I'd go right in their face and give them a right good b*ll*cking! I'm in the habit of really getting people told when they come out with such outrageous language, that sounds a bit like typical nazi or communist attitude! Have you ever seen what the Russian communist regime did with children who were born deformed and disabled? They called them "imbeciles" and shut them away in dreadful institutions all their lives where they must've suffered dreadful abuse. It was the same in Romania too and it was only revealed when the "iron curtain" finally fell in about 1990. Shame on them. Fm.
  • GeoarkGeoark Posts: 1,184Community champion Pioneering
    Hi FM,

    As I said, it was another parent who was advocating this and was includinging thier own child. Personally I don't favour getting into someone's face and abusing them, in my experience it causes them to go on the defensive and entrenches their beliefs.

    My own response at the time was I wanted her to enjoy life and what it has to offer, including a full sexual life and children if this is what she wanted. Later I did talk to her quietly and suggested she talk to CAHMS about her concernes to see what they had to say.

    As for the treament of disabled people, and the mentally ill, I would suggest researching closer to home, our own treatment of such people has hardly been squeeky clean, or that far distant in the past.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • FundamentalistFundamentalist Posts: 134Member Courageous
    Hi from Fm. Yes I know, tell me about it. I never got to go to secondary school as I was forcibly extracted from the last primary school I was at at the age of nine and I got kicked out of several primaries and then I was put in a so-called "special" school which was only two steps away from borstal, ( anyone remember those? ) where I had to stay all week and it was absolute hell, I was held there for seven long hard and brutal years and that was in the 70's and far too many of the other inmates absolutely despised anyone with any really serious disabilities, especially if they suffered deformities due to stuff like thalidomide and constantly mocked and ridiculed them and needless to say I was treated far worse than anyone else even though I don't have any such deformities. It was just because in those days I was just too easy a target but these days because of such relentless ill treatment from "society" I've become seriously battle hardened and now I won't take any cr#p from anyone. Fm.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 689 Listener
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  • FundamentalistFundamentalist Posts: 134Member Courageous
    Hi from Fm. I certainly don't think the "whole world" is against disabled folk, I know it's just a blatantly pig-ignorant anti-social minority, some of whom hold grudges for decades and it's about time they grew out of it. And as for assumptions, far too many over the years have made outrageous assumptions about me and then not only acted on it but kept it up for years on end because they were so obsessed. And needless to say all the assumptions were completely wrong. People should get their facts right before jumping to conclusions, but of course then they wouldn't have a lame excuse to pick on someone and they'd also have to admit they were wrong and that's too big a problem for anti-social types, they have to be "always right". And when it comes to aggression I mean more like controlled aggression a bit like the military, combined with discipline. You don't get anywhere in this world being a pushover. And have you ever watched any wildlife programmes about herding animals? Only the really strong who are prepared to fight get to mate and that ensures survival of their species and it maintains strength against predators. Fm.
  • GeoarkGeoark Posts: 1,184Community champion Pioneering
    To answer the question in your previous post, yes I remember those schools, I was sent to one at the age of 6, I also remember what I did to get there, and what I did which ensured I stayed there.

    And when it comes to aggression I mean more like controlled aggression a bit like the military, combined with discipline. You don't get anywhere in this world being a pushover. And have you ever watched any wildlife programmes about herding animals? Only the really strong who are prepared to fight get to mate and that ensures survival of their species and it maintains strength against predators.

    How well is that working for you? About as well as it did for me when I was like you.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • FundamentalistFundamentalist Posts: 134Member Courageous
    Hi from Fm. It works some of the time. That is where the real fight is, not with fists and boots but against weaknesses and negativity and pessimism etc. It's about finding real strength of character and standing up to things and absolutely refusing to give up, just as you have to in the military in a situation that seems really hopeless. How do you think Montgomery beat Rommel in north Africa? It wasn't all done with guns and bombs etc. Fm.
  • MolMol Posts: 52Member Connected
    All I will ever say on this subject is god made everyone,

    Everyone is beautiful, Everyone is here for a short period of time enjoy what you have and appreciate each other,

    love one and other and live  in peace and unity. Life is too short to be fighting with each other.

    Enjoy everything, and do everything and go everywhere that you want to.

    Enjoy all the different cultures around the world. Always remember there is always more good than bad where ever you go in this world.

    Love and Peace conquers the world.
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