I feel lost and kind of dead inside

wilson13

Hi first time here, I have fibromyalgia chronic fatigue borderline personality disorder, I don't go out much I sleep a lot then have a period of no sleep, this started 9 years ago after a car crash the injury basically spread and got worse until I was diagnosed my former employer is not disabled friendly and get rid as soon as poss I'd been there 20yrs, works oh assist (atos) wrote I'm no longer fit for work and I was out of a job,my doctor was great and wrote to dwp I won't get better an should be retired ( I appealed work lump sum I'm 39 for my pension which is unheard of, but I got it, an the oh assist did a similar letter as the doctor an the top brass countersigned it, but according to pip it's a different department so doesn't class as one of there's, I won anyway and got standard pip an Esa support but feel lost and kind of dead inside, I'm on million tablets morphine included plus mental health tablets, I noticed I don't really talk anymore much to my hubby n kids, I've nothing to say, how bad is that  

Ajk110

Hi @wilson13 I’m sorry to hear how unhappy you are.

You have
written about many different issues here and I suspect that you now feel quite
overwhelmed by all of these things going on.

First, it’s really important that
you share how you feel. Can you talk, at least with your husband, about this? I
would also speak to your GP as some counselling may be helpful – a lot of
people are a bit scared by that word, but it really means exploring your
feelings in a safe, non-judgemental environment.

Second is to think what small
things you could do each week to try and make things feel more manageable, as
well as give yourself a focus. By this I mean: things you need to get done; a
positive step to take – have coffee with a friend or have a special dinner with
your husband for example; list things that are going well and things that are
not going well. This is no quick fix but when we get really bogged down by life
it can be hard to see what is at the root of our problems and what is just our
unhappiness clouding the bigger picture.

I would finally think about things you
could do to keep your mind active. Look at a site like meetup.com for groups
that may exist around an interest of yours, or consider the ways you might be
able to volunteer in spite of your health problems, for instance telephone
befriending. And remember we are here to provide you support, encouragement and
a listening ear!

Sam_Alumni

Hi @wilson13 it sounds like you have a lot going on, you say you are on tablets for mental health issues, would you say your mental health has changed or got worse?

I think it would be worth speaking to your GP again, as @Ajk110 says, talking can often help.  Whether that is with someone close to you or to a councillor or therapist.

You arent alone, remember that.  As hard as it is to reach out and ask for support, there are lots of people who can help.

There is lots of information on the MIND website that might be helpful to you.