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My autistic son will not leave the house/go outside - can anyone help?

ElonerEloner Posts: 1Member Listener
edited July 2017 in Ask an ASD advisor
Can anyone help. I have an autistic 20 year old son. He has always been very anxious and we have strategies and medication in place to help him. He hasn't been to school since he was 13 years old. He will not leave the house, he would be happy to never leave and just use his computer etc. I feel this is unhealthy. He likes swimming, playing ball, walking , etc but now can't access anything out of the home . He hates being away from me, and just refuses to do anything. I want him to get to the stage of being able to cope without me, be a little independent. I am an older parent and I am terrified something happens to me how will he cope. I have had help from O/T's, PA's etc but nobody can get him to leave the house. I just don't know what to do. I do not want him to go into residential as it would be cruel as he would be lost. Don't get me wrong, if he wanted to I would be so happy for him. I know he is happy staying home, but he can't even go into the garden now. I have spent the last seven years in the house with him as I can't leave him alone,, life is passing us by and it is so sad because there's so much out there to enjoy. My son is verbal, friendly, a big strapping 6' 1'' young man. He's terrified of children and babies, so that is another reason he doesn't go out, we also cannot have anything with youngsters on the tv. His dad is in poor health, so I am alone most of the time with my son as his full time carer. I love him so much, I just want to help him have a nice life and not to worry about me. I am at a loss as what to do. 

Replies

  • LiamO_DellLiamO_Dell Posts: 687Member Chatterbox
    Hi @Eloner,

    Welcome to Scope's online community! It's great to have you on board.

    I've moved your post into our Ask an ASD advisor category, where members of our community, along with our dedicated advisor, may be able to help.

    @VioletFenn, do you have any ideas?
  • VioletFennVioletFenn Posts: 123Member, Community advisor Chatterbox
    Hi @Eloner (and thanks for the tag, @LiamO_Dell )

    Gosh, what a difficult situation you're in and bless your heart for being so determined to help your boy. Can I ask what other support (if any) you have - does he see the GP for medication, has he been through the CAMHS system at all?

    The one thing I always advise people is to check out your local ASD support group, because they really are always the font of knowledge re what kind of help you might be able to access. And if nothing else, they might be able to offer you some support for yourself. Google 'asd support group' and your area - or let us know whereabouts you are and I'll try to find some info for you. 

    Wanting your son to have his best life possible is all anyone can aim for and you're clearly doing everything you can. He's very lucky to have you as his mum :) 

    Violet
    ASD adviser, Scope
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 692 Listener
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  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 5,389Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @Eloner how are you and your son getting on?
  • jan_dale99jan_dale99 Posts: 2Member Listener
    Hi Eloner I have just registered on this site after reading your entry about your son. I cannot believe the similarities to our stories! My son is 20 and gave up school(due to anxiety)at same age. We have struggled ever since to help him as he wouldnt leave the house for years - But have faith it will happen albeit Very very slowly. Our son still has anxiety but manages to go out most weeks (once only) but it has been a long road to get this far! I commend you for being there for him and  I agree residential would be crushing for our sons. Ifnore people who criticise you - they dont walk in our shoes! I hope you get to read this as I dont want you to give up on him as hard as it is every day. Take care and look after yourself too. p.s. I had to give up my job years ago to support my son.
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 2,673Administrator Scope community team
    Welcome to the community, @jan_dale99!

    I hope you get to chat with @Eloner. You may also be interested in our other ASD-related discussions, and our parents and carers category.
  • jobrooks2116jobrooks2116 Posts: 1Member Listener
    My son is 17 and has been out of school since he was 11. He is much the same as your sons, won't take medication, wont take to anyone or except any support from anyone. so we are very alone and also very worried about the future. 
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