Relationships

Ellie1992

Ive just split up with my partner of 2 years and im still in our bed with him i just need some advice really

Liam_Alumni

Hi @Ellie1992,

I've moved your post into our Ask a Sex and Relationships Expert category, where our advisor may be able to offer support.

@PSHEexpert, can you help?

PSHEexpert

Hi Ellie!  That's a really difficult situation to be in, and I'm sorry you've found yourself in it.

I'm guessing from your post that for now you're stuck living together, which is really hard - I've been there too and it can feel very frustrating when things are all very raw.  I am sure this will sound like a silly question, and it's not meant to, but is there any way at all that you could negotiate sleeping separately while you get your head around the split and adjust to things a bit? Whether that's one of you moving into another room (I don't know your physical situations of course and that might not be an option), or maybe staying with a friend or a family member for a couple of nights to give yourself a bit of headspace?

The headspace is the important bit at the moment, even more than the physical. You don't mention whether either of you initiated the split but regardless of that it's a big change for everyone involved, and you need space to think about what's best for you and the next steps you want to take.

I also don't know if you have anyone you can talk to about things but I'm going to share this page from Relate, the relationship counselling organisation, which addresses lots of aspects of splitting up and how to negotiate and manage things when you're ready, which may have something that is useful on a practical level: https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-separation-and-divorce - I have found Relate to be very supportive, although everyone is different.

Finally, thank you for posting - it can be really hard when you're in the middle of things like this to be able to ask for help or a listening ear.  If that wasn't helpful (or didn't address the right things), please be reassured we are all here and still listening - don't feel stuck alone in the middle of things.