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I don't understand something

TopkittenTopkitten Posts: 926Member Pioneering
Something I saw in the A-Z I find confusing. It mentions sexual satisfaction for men with spinal injuries.

My condition is a degeneration of the spine. I have already noticed a significant change to both my penis and my ability to orgasm and achieve an erection all caused by ongoing nerve damage. Even with escorts who are usually skilled in bringing men to orgasm they almost always fail with me and quite often now I am finding it difficult to maintain an erection for more than a few minutes let alone the hours it used to last.

Sooner rather than later it will become impossible to achieve an erection at all and, as far as I know, it is impossible to orgasm without it.

I am not saying that sex has become unfulfilling because it hasn't. I get a great deal of satisfaction from giving a woman multiple orgasms. It isn't the same though. I don't get quite the same satisfaction as I used to from my own orgasm.

Is it actually possible for a man to have an orgasm without an erection?

TK
"I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.

Replies

  • TopkittenTopkitten Posts: 926Member Pioneering
    Supposedly yes but how it's supposed to work I can't figure out. As the damage moves up my spine more and more stimulation zones will be unable to give me stimulation. It's already so difficult from the waist down.

    I suppose that means that it will be impossible for me. Bad luck strikes again *sigh*.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • PSHEexpertPSHEexpert Posts: 167Volunteer community advisor Pioneering
    Hello! I’m ever so sorry - I hadn’t seen this post until you commented on it and then it sent me a notification. 

    It was jsut to say thay yes you can have an orgasm without an erection, but I suppose it depends on what gets you going; for example some men achieve them with g spot stimulation (which you can do externally too) - although if that’s an area that’s affected then I agree, that would be difficult. 

    I dont think it is impossible, but I think it’s something that would potentially require a lot of patience and experimenting. I met a gentleman who was quadriplegic whose erogenous zones had completely changed over the years - I will see if I can track him down (it’s been a while since I saw him, he was at a SHADA meeting some years ago). 
    - Gill 
  • TopkittenTopkitten Posts: 926Member Pioneering
    It's not that the zones don't work at all below the damage but the sensitivity is much lower and patchy. Some bits are fun and some just like normal skin, only less sensitive. As the damage progresses up the spine more and more areas degenerate too.

    Even the escorts I see have problems and I never orgasm the first time I see them. Using a condom just makes things worse but at least it's safe and I get some mental stimulation from the movement. I get the most excitement from giving the woman an orgasm. It would be possible to orgasm together except women stop what they are doing when they get close, lol! I am rapidly becoming an expert on giving. Even showing a few of them things they don't know, lol!

    Sorry, was that too explicit? I tend to be completely open and honest about everything.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • PSHEexpertPSHEexpert Posts: 167Volunteer community advisor Pioneering
    No, I don’t think that was too explicit - I think it’s important to talk openly about sexual function and pleasure, particularly as it’s something that really gets left out of discussions when in the context of disability. I am grateful to you for speaking so frankly, because I’m sure you’re not alone. It’s really important people don’t feel isolated as it’s so easy for that to happen when it’s such an intimate subject matter. Thank you, really.
    - Gill 
  • TopkittenTopkitten Posts: 926Member Pioneering
    Ok, ty. I have just added a long diatribe to my profile detailing most of the last 15 years as it relates to my health. It should save me having to repeat a lot of it here. I hadn't realised the option was available. I have left out most of the MH stuff as those are quite common. My main condition is unknown by even specialist doctors and I have googled for a similar condition elsewhere in the world without success. It doesn't even have  name of it's own. I have described it on threads but will eventually put it in the profile I guess but what I typed took long enough as it is.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • AlexAlex Posts: 1,325Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @Topkitten

    It sounds like it might be @Mik_Scarlet's blog that you're referring to?

    Mik's written quite a bit about sex and created some videos that are well worth checking out. This blog on his site might be a good place to start



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