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Silly things people say

B1nkyb00B1nkyb00 Posts: 45Member Connected
i love watching disabled youtubers, and came across this video.  I enjoyed watching it because I was like!! Yes I get that al the time! I have even had people ask if they can pray for me!! Have u had any silly things did to you?


  • Abi222Abi222 Posts: 14Member Connected
    Hi a classic conversation some years ago with my sons agency care worker. 
    Her: did you know when you were pregnant he would be like he is?
    Me: What? do you mean having Cerebral Palsy? erm no my  scans didn't show anything may be wrong
    Her: If you knew would you still have had him? 
    Was that actually a serious question?  If it was I didn't dignify it was an answer!!!
    Think she choose the wrong profession!!!  couldn't believe my ears!!
    Just one of the reasons we are on Direct Payments and choose our own carers!!!!

  • MarkmywordsMarkmywords Posts: 398Member Pioneering
    I wasn't disabled at the time but had recently had a cancer diagnosis.

    Whilst at work, a co-worker (who had been told) passed by and said "Cheer up you miserable sod, it might never happen."

    I had to walk away. To this day he doesn't know why I stopped talking to him.
  • NystagmiteNystagmite Posts: 609Member Pioneering
    well, I was once told by another person with asthma that if I stop thinking about it, I'll be fine. yes, because it's oh so fun struggling to walk to the GP surgery 50 metres away.

    That came from someone who doesn't have plan their holiday around the weather - too cold and I'll get sick and too cold and it'll make me sick too.

    I was once told by audiology (who should really know better) I can't have hearing problems because I have sight problems. Ushers Syndrome, anyone? (which for anyone who isn't aware, is hearing and sight loss) And yes, it did turn out I do have some hearing trouble.
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  • MarkmywordsMarkmywords Posts: 398Member Pioneering
    I didn't @DannyMoore. I'm sure it wasn't malicious just blindingly thoughtless.

    It's the result that matters irrespective of the intent. If someone accidentally reversed a car over your foot you move so they can't have another accident.

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  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,800Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello everybody I would like to say I have fingers missing and when people see this well the comments.  I get remarks does it hurt.?  Can you go to the loo.?  Can you hold a cup or glass one person asked in a café?  Even when I order anything I sometimes have to use a spoon and a fork like they do in Italian places.  The awkward bit in some cafes or bistros is that they will ask do want that cut up sir.  I always order pasta then I can use a spoon and fork and the unnecessary questions are stopped.  I recall once I went on the first night to a disabled club in a area new to me.  Met the lady running it and her demeanour and remarks made very uncomfortable in deed and had to put her straight on a few things.  This included my inability to hold a cup of tea do want a straw?  Did your mummy and daddy drop your off ?  I was in my early twenties and driving.  Know I got here in my car.  Startled and eyes wide open you cant drive.  You will kill someone.  I was about to say some thing and make comments when a friend who I had not seen for ages came in.  She approached me in her wheelchair  lovely to see you both of us embraced and kissed.  Much to this lady running things her eyes and terror in her face.  We are having none of this in here.  I said very curtly disabled people can do anything and reeled off a long list of what disabled can do and achieve.  In the end I left because I did not want to embarrass my friend and make a problem out of this.  This still goes on.  When are people going to accept our community and treat us the same as everybody else.
  • TopkittenTopkitten Posts: 972Member Pioneering
    Most people are pretty thoughtless and say stuff they shouldn't. A lot of it comes from embarrassment because they just aren't educated in how to behave.

    I have had people ask to pray for me, even asked me if it was ok to. What was I going to do, say no? Did find it awkward when one young man did it there and then though. Had some of the wheelchair comments and also the 'do not touch' comments at a disability centre.

    A little fed up with the "I get back trouble too" comments. I don't have back trouble, I have a damaged spine *sigh*.

    Until people are better educated this will probably continue.

    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
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  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,800Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello as a Christian I pray every day for those that in my life bring meaning and belief and help me in my quest in my life.  Prayer to those that know is often a powerful tool in healing one self.  I have seen many people who cast aspersions on prayer who do not believe the power and healing.  I always respect that and never challenge others who pour scorn on these beliefs.  I have learnt as Danny Moore quoted .  I get angry with those who had hurt me and treated me badly.  I can forgive and try to but if someone hurts you then someone will hurt them.  Eye for an eye.  All the people who have hurt me something has happened to them.  The avenging angel I call it.  I pray for them when I found out they are now hurting.  My concern is those whose who have pain and sorrow and feel the need to express feelings and emotion.  I put out a helping hand and hope that I am there to aid.  Just as those who have helped me when I was down and out with sickness, pain and sorrow.  I am still in sickness, pain and sorrow but I use the words of my bible to comfort and ease the problems.
  • KarenELeeKarenELee Posts: 1Member Listener
    A few years ago a chugged came to my door claiming to be raising money for disabled people. She asked me brightly if I knew any disabled people?! I calmly replied Yes, I'm partially sighted and I have 2 autistic children.
    She looked surprised obviously wondering where my white stick was. Then she asked me what I could see! I almost slammed the door in her face but part of me was intrigued by her ignorance and attitude. I told her I didn't have any central vision. She looked horrified and asked if I needed her to stand to the side. I think I just laughed at her and then shut the door in her face. How can these charities send people out like this ?
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,800Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello but they do I have been raising money tin rattling a long time.  Recently I had to stop doing it because the charities I was currently volunteering for employed paid people to do it.  I only found out last year.  Also can I say my all time favourite story around charities was had a lady come to my door would you like a badge.  Having just moved into my new house I said in some words who do you work for.  She said live up the road well I asked can I have the information details of the charity you volunteer for.  I might need some support.  At once she started to say in a flurry of words I have be somewhere else I have not got the time to be helping people like you.  So I said in a few words what hell are doing it for?.  I asked and my friend who was helping me move in came to  the door to see what was going on.  Commenting the same as me on her heels and walked off.  Days later came to the local shop and there she was saying all the virtues of helping the disabled and what she does and how long for and how hard working for this charity.  I had to say something what cheek what lies what being two faced. Any way I made a comment and she ended up leaving.  I apologised to the shop keeper and told him what happened.  I felt it was my Christian duty.  I know I felt guilty yet in a lot of my time I have spent doing collecting for charities.  I have met a number of people who are like this.
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  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,800Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you for replying yes I know it is hard to say this but I had to intervene.  I had many experiences like this during my collecting for charities.  I am grateful for the support I get about my faith from people on this forum like yourself. Thank you.  Talking of silly things I once had someone say to me why do not go to church.  You need a church to practise religion.  Which I replied Jesus preached without a church.  Did almost all of his preaching and the teachings in the open air.  I have been several times to different dominations and found myself a social outcast and also felt it was their rules not mine.  I just practise it quietly and private and my wishes are respected.
  • ZeezeeZeezee Posts: 80Member Pioneering
    I have had some ridiculous things said to me regarding my daughter and her disability.

    Oh she is so beautiful it doesn't matter about her being in a wheelchair her pretty face will get her everything she wants in life. Well it didn't make her legs work when she wanted to go on the bouncy castle she was refused entry on last week (health and safety I was told). Her pretty face didn't ease the devastation she felt when she couldn't join in hide and seek at the playgroup.

    Oh don't worry she will definitely walk when she is ready. 
    It's you making her lazy pushing her round in that pram all the time if you stop doing everything for her she will have to walk.

    Man at MCR dogs home when I asked to enter via disabled access "that's not a wheelchair its a pram"
    Me "no it is a wheelchair"
    Man sniggering angrily "NO IT IS A PRAM"
    Me "it is a special needs chair, what pram has lateral supports, thigh supports, pommel, gas propelled tilt in space mechanism?.
    At that point I removed the blanket which was protecting my daughter from the rain and cold that they made us stand in for over half an hour because I was being awkward not wanting to carry my daughter in her 'pram' up the 8 stairs to get in through the main entrance.
    The man apologized but if my daughter wasn't so excited and looking forward to seeing the dogs so much I would not have stood there for so long and put up with that kind of attitude.

    So yes my daughter is only three and I have heard the most ridiculous, ignorant and thoughtless comments you could possibly hear.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,800Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello thank you for your comments about your daughter.   I feel for you and it makes anyone upset and angry to hear this.  One of my experience I was in my early twenties at that time.  I had met several ladies who became friends and all of them worked and childcare expensive.  So I ended up being asked to look after their children.  So I was taking them to school and picking them up.  Getting them lunch etc.  One little lad I had to look after three days a week.  That's when the problems started seeing him and me the snide comments and behind the back references to my disability.  You can not look after children.  You would not find me giving you my son to look after and it went on.  One women threated to call the police because I had this child and she got it into her head I taken him from school.  Which I had not and had to argue the point just because I am disabled I can look after children.  Worse problems were my family who hated this and especially my mother comments.  Thing is I was trusted and all the children became attached to me.  Being often the only male in an all female household.  Friends with benefits I suppose you could call it.  Part of my life I look back on with happiness and a lot of sadness also.  Some of the children were also disabled and the revolting remarks made by people astounded me.  You have fingers missing must   be catching your son got the same as you then.  This was a child in a wheel chair and had fingers and a limb missing though illness who I cared for.  I just felt stunned at the time and even now still can not understand peoples mentality. No boundaries at this present time with people in this country to express words when they see people in our community.  I send you my support and best wishes and to your daughter.
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