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lonely what do you do ?

JoelacolaJoelacola Posts: 1Member Listener
i don't know who to turn to anymore, i am a army wife hubby works away we get on great but i am also a carer for my daughter whom is 25yrs old due to move out so i should be looking for work, i have asked for some assistance with our local carer's centre but they have suggested voluntary work which I am ok with but will get bored with after a few weeks, I call my self an artist because i know i can do good with my paintings etc but just don't seem to have the enthusiasm anymore, by the time i've walked my dog, gone food shopping done appointments, cleaning, paperwork, cooking etc. life just gets in the way, oh & apparently i was diagnosed with bi-polar after the birth of my son, ( he is 9ys now ) & nope i didn't want to take drugs because i know some of the pills can dope u up, so i agreed to take lithum which has helped alot but i guess, they don't take away the empty friends gap away tho, i used to do many things but was finding that i was just attending random social gatherings with people i didn't really click with, the friends i do have i hardly see and well sometimes think people are just to busy to be bothered, isn't it sad that we are all stuck in our phones via social media to be in touch with people these days

Replies

  • AlexAlex Posts: 1,325Scope Team Scope community team
    Hi @Joelacola,

    Welcome to the community. You're certainly not alone in feeling lonely, and I hope we can help in some way.

    Whilst voluntary work might sound a bit boring - you never know who you might meet! I'm heard from many people who volunteer in Scope shops who end up with really valuable and long lasting friendships.

    Are there any local groups or classes where you could paint? Perhaps you could check local colleges and sites like Facebook / Meetup? Even if you don't find people that you click with - at least you'll be doing something you enjoy.

    I came across the Campaign To End Loneliness early in the week. Unfortunately it seems mainly aimed at older people - but there is some good advice on their site.


  • mossycowmossycow Posts: 486Community champion Pioneering
    Hi there! Sounds like you are knackered from doing a very hard (however much you love your daughter!) job for 25 years. So much going on as the situation changes for you as well as your son, medication, partner being away.... All sounds hard, yet you have coped and done a great job.

    I know what you mean about life getting in the way.... And I think it's great in a way you looking at your local carers centre..... But I want to say to you go for something that's about you now. You are an artist (I'm in awe!) and I wonder if you'd find more interest and more people you click with in a job (paid or not to start with) that's more creative o in 'your field' as it were.

    Do you mind me asking, what kind of stuff do you do as an artist? Where do you see yourself when you allow your self to day dream?

    I recognise your loneliness as I'm often too poorly or immobile to get out  and it feels like the entire world is busy and having fun without me... I can think of two things that helped me. I am trying to feel less guilt and give myself little nuggets of time, just for little things. Almost to find out what I do actually like now after life has changed. The other thing is social media. Obviously real life people is better... But people on social media are real too and really interesting... .  I have joined lots of groups for stuff I'm interested in, all sorts! So if I have a little time but not able to get out etc I can log on to Facebook and am sent feeds about music, aquariums, beautiful places in the world, jokes, friends, local events etc.... Makes me feel more plugged to the world and has led to real life friends.

    Might also be worth popping to gp for a mental health MOT? 

    "I'm trying to live like a random poem I read that ended 'to bloom where we are planted"

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