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Some good news to share. AKA Don't give up!

tanzytanzy Posts: 16Member Listener
edited October 2017 in Mental health issues
A while back, I posted here and got some good advice. I have been so tired that I have not really been back as all of my energy has been focused on recovering from op. and getting through each pain filled day. And surviving the last few weeks totally penniless. So a quick recap- I had a lot of physical pain, from most body parts, and also had a knee replacement in March. I claimed ESA afterwards ie April to end of July, when ESA assessment failed, even though doc had  signed me off til end of August. I then tried to hobble to do a job ie housesitting, which nearly killed me. Among other long standing physical issues and depression, the plantar fascilitis which I have had for years, has really been problematic so i really can hardly walk on the one leg. it doesnt wear off, and even hurts to the point of keeping me awake at night.  I have had it bad many times before, but never like this and think the new alignment of knee has affected it a lot. Anyway, I was talking on phone to lady about what  if any benefit I could apply for to take me from then, until I recieved state pension in six weeks time from that point. She siad i should also try for PIP, I expliained I had been turned down at the ESA assessment ( I was so livid about that one, I can tell you, and wrote letter of compliant- totally ignorant people who lied etc) Anyway, she convinced me to try for PIP, and duly sent the form and I filled it in, and sent it off. in the meantime, found i could not sign on to jobseekers, as my area had just changed over to Universal credit with the 6 week waiting time, by which time my state pension was due, so i didnt bother. Gov has basically stolen 16,000 of my state pension ie my mother giving birth to me 4 months too late for the deadline; those 4 months have cost me 4 and 3/4 years of state pension!! So, I am just worn out to the point of no longer caring, and set about just surviving the 6 weeks- forget direct debit bills and rent, and I had food in freezer at least. You can imagine how tired I was at that point and then the letter with my PIP appt came through with the appt set forearly  the next week. I was too exhausted to even think about it, and so the day before, I phone dup to cancel appt, but the person I spoke to at ATOS was very nice and said just come, as nothign to lose. Anyway, i went, thinking at least it was an outting of sorts, but with absolutely ne expectations whatsoever. In fact i was quite cheery and jokey, during it, although very much in pain sitting, but that is my personality, especially when nervous, i try to overcompensate, and put a good condfident face on. And on leaving felt I had been my own worst enemy by being cheerful and also forgetting to telll her relevant things, even down0playing how I felt. So imagine my surprise today to find i have been awarded PIP for next few years Yes, I am still in so much pain, and the time i am spending on my own has opened up a quiet time of reflection which is making me remember things i prefer to foget and not helping me with depression at all, but for the first time in proabaly ten years of sdtruggling, i feel  there is hope of living some sort of life, whereas ia couple of days ago, I thought the best i could hope for was to manage to exist, if that makes sense. So, please, dont give up in your struggles with the system. I am sorry that the typing has gone downhill as I type. really tired now! But dont give up hwatever happens;keep your integrity and dignity and do the best you can, and hopefully the worst times will pass.









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