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Filling PIP form in by disabled wife.

spire2003spire2003 Posts: 25Member Connected
edited October 2017 in PIP, DLA and AA
My wife has the PIP2 form to fill in. She refuses to see anything but positive things in her life & gets very stressed about talking about the negative effects of her stroke some 8 years ago. I have had a look at the form & in my opinion she would qualify for enhanced in both activities. She says I would be telling lies & that I don’t do anything for her. Our daughter has offered to help her fill it in but my wife is so hostile towards me that I think at her face to face assessment she will tell the assessor she gets no help. I feel like walking out for a week & leaving her to fend for herself. Only then will she realise what help she needs. 

Replies

  • loopytloopyt Posts: 79Member Courageous
    Hi Spire, so sorry to hear how difficult things are. Is your wife still under the care of GP or specialist? Maybe they could help. Have you thought of just staying away for a day to see how she will cope? You obviously need to take care of yourself too. I am sure someone here will have shared a similar experience and will advise you but it may be worth making an appointment with her GP to see if they can help with how she is coping. T
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,250Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hi spire and welcome

    So sorry you are in such a hard place.
    It is good that your wife manages to focus on the good things, many of us do that as a way of coping.
    Is this a change from DLA to PIP ?
    It is your wifes claim and if she wants to tell her story her way there is really nothing you can do, even if you see it from a different point of veiw.
    Can your wife fill in the form for herself ?
    If your wife is so hostile to your assistance then maybe let your daughter help her.
    As tempting as it may be to walk away for a week , as a caring husband that really isn't an option.
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • MatildaMatilda Posts: 2,616Member Disability Gamechanger
    @spire2003

    Can your wife afford to forego to PIP payments to which she might be entitled?
  • spire2003spire2003 Posts: 25Member Connected
    She keeps her DLA & uses it like spending money. She contributes nothing to the running of the household bills or food so it won’t make any difference to me if she ends up with nothing. I think she would risk that if it meant she’d get one over me. The upsetting thing is that she can be so nice to most other people.
  • MatildaMatilda Posts: 2,616Member Disability Gamechanger
    But if your wife isn't awarded any PIP she's going lose spending money.
  • loopytloopyt Posts: 79Member Courageous
    Hi Spire, it seems that even though your wife seems positive to others she is still struggling to come to terms with her health and remains angry. They always say it's your nearest and dearest that suffer the most but she probably feels that you are able to cope. Maybe you need to have a chat to someone at the Stroke Association as they will have the knowledge and experience of such illness?
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 5,856Member Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @spire2003, sorry to hear about the difficult situation your family are in. I definitely agree that talking to a medical professional involved in her care, or a relevant charity, could be beneficial going forwards.

    Failing that, giving the Scope helpline a call at 0808 800 3333 might also be worth considering. Keep us updated!
  • spire2003spire2003 Posts: 25Member Connected
    My wife volounteers at our local stroke association !!!!!!!
  • spire2003spire2003 Posts: 25Member Connected
    Finally the pip form is filled in & ready to go. Our daughter filled in the form with my wife. I went out of the way, did some shopping & picked grandson up from school. Despite all the tantrums & arguing my wife did with me she has agreed virtually everything I said should be on the form. I told daughter not to put anything on it that her mum was not happy with. Quick question. Once forms get back to DWP how soon is the f2f assessment ?
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,250Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    How long is a piece of string ?
    It varies from area to area
    Some are relitively quick ie. weeks or it could be several months.
    Have you managed to included medical evidence ?

    CR
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • MatildaMatilda Posts: 2,616Member Disability Gamechanger
    @spire2003

    It can vary.  Mine was about three weeks later, in London, 13 months ago, but there might be backlogs now.

    I'm pleased that your wife did agree with you about the form's contents.
  • spire2003spire2003 Posts: 25Member Connected
    CR. No we have not sent any medical evidence. My wife is currently under the care of Orthotics locally who referred her to Trauma & Orthopaedics consultant. We have no reports from them. Do you simply ask them for a report to be written up. Is it possible that DWP ask for these directly after receiving the form ?
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,250Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    It is unlikely that DWP or  the assessment providers will request any medical evidence.
    It would be very useful if you can obtain reports from any specialists and GP detailing specifically the problems your wife has with the PIP descriptors

    CR
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • MatildaMatilda Posts: 2,616Member Disability Gamechanger
    The assessor and DWP might take into account medical evidence from when your wife first claimed PIP (at least they ought to) - if you answered yes to DWP's question about inclusion of previous medical evidence when you made initial PIP application by phone.
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