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Coping with Disabled Abuse and reporting it to police

the_velvet_girlthe_velvet_girl Posts: 103Member Courageous
I went out clubbing for Halloween last night. I spent a while in the toilet as I had trouble getting in and out of my costume. When I got out of the toilet, I was verbally abused by a girl and called a spastic and a window licker for the time I took in the toilet. I apologized but she started singing Jake the Peg at me. Her friends apologized and dragged her away. I'd never met the girl or her friends before. I told a bouncer and gave a description of her and her friends. The bouncer contacted all the other bouncers and said she would be found & thrown out of the club. I'm still really upset today & I'm considering reporting it to the Police. Has anyone else reported disabled hate crime to the Police? I'm not sure if I can cope with the hassle of having to give statements or going to court. I haven't had that level of abuse since leaving school and it's really shocked me.

Replies

  • gerrys6gerrys6 Posts: 83Member Connected
    Poor you that’s disgraceful behaviour and very upsetting for you. Do you know if she was thrown out of the club I totally hope she was maybe that will have embarrassed her and made her think about her nasty vile self. I’m not sure how it would work with reporting her to police especially since it wasn’t done at the time. But if you feel you d benefit from it and it’ d help you feel better then go for it . Good luck let us know how you get on.
  • Mia_ScopeMia_Scope Posts: 32Member Connected
    Hi @the_velvet_girl

    I am so sorry that you had to go through this horrible experience. No one should ever be treated this way, and it's unfortunate that you did. 

    It's perfectly understandable that you are still really upset about it. You may benefit from talking to Stop Hate UK. They say that if you want to talk to someone about the Hate Crime you have experienced, you can call the Stop Hate Line 24-hours a day on 0800 138 1625.

    If you did want to still consider reporting it, here's more information about how you can do that at True Vision and here's what Citizen's Advice have to say about Hate Crime.

    I hope that you are able to heal and move on from this awful mistreatment.

    Best wishes,

    Mia
    Mia
    Helpline Information Officer
    Phone: 0808 800 3333
    Email: [email protected]
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  • AlexW_ScopeAlexW_Scope Posts: 204Scope Team Scope community team
    If contacting the police is too stressful for you, third party reporting centres can give you support and advice. They can also report the incident anonymously to the Police for you.The national organisation True Vision has a wide range of resources on hate crime. You can also report hate crime directly to them using a simple button. There is also a mobile phone app you can download.
  • the_velvet_girlthe_velvet_girl Posts: 103Member Courageous
    I phoned the club today and spoke to the manager who said that a group of girls that fitted the description I gave were asked to leave the club. The club are also going to put in a toilet attendant back in the toilets. I've decided not to report it to the police as I think it would be impossible for them to trace the girl. The incident has put me off going out clubbing. I didn't go on many nights out before and had only went out as it was a close friends 30th birthday.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,800Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @the_velvet_girl sorry about what happening.  First please can I ask how are you ?.  Seeing a lot of the comments and good advice here.  I have a number of points to raise if you do not mind.  Try to contact the police they have a specific officers to deal with this sort of problem.  I have been victim of this actual situation and do understand.  I am into the Northern Soul scene and have stopped going in clubs where the nights are often held.  Last time I had to defend myself against a man who persisting take the attitude towards me in a way that I can not go into here.  Still too painful to talk about even though it was like yesterday.  A memory of a thought I could never get over.  Even though I enjoy the music the clubs and the people.  I do not want you to think like me and try to talk to some one .  In those days there were no police to talk about this.  I am and was well known around the scene and have ended up being afraid to go out to these clubs.  What annoyed me was this club scene the people are of an mature age not young adults.  Please contact the police most areas have these officers and I am sure it will help.  I do not want you to feel isolated and lonely because of this.  Best wishes and take care.
  • the_velvet_girlthe_velvet_girl Posts: 103Member Courageous
    I'm OK. I think it was just the shock of being spoken to like that which upset me. I haven't been spoken to like that since school and it brought back horrible memories. I've decided not to go to the Police now as I doubt they will be able to trace the girl a few days later. In hindsight, I wish I had asked the club to phone the Police on Saturday night but I just wanted to go home.
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