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WHAT I DO NOT MISS ABOUT CHRISTMAS
Hello everybody I just thought mention about what I do not miss about Christmas. There has been a lot on this about being lonely and the anti social side. I fully understand all that I am like in that group of people. I thought I would talk about other side of Christmas. Had a visit from a lad on Monday some one who has everything being great about Christmas. Had never met any one like myself. He left and the thoughts seem to be in my head. So I need to talk about the suffering that I have had especially this time. For the very beginning of my life Christmas haunted me. Living with a family member especially my mother. Who made my life so hard and ended up hitting and using intimidation, bullying, threats over the Christmas period. I am still suffering and every day the day gets nearer I can feel her and the residues of what she has done. This is not easy writing this. Only the little things made a mountain out of a molehill. Christmas has one has their ideal Christmas the turkey coming out of the oven, lovely decorated house, presents opening, the big movie on TV. Family enjoyment forget it everybody striving and enduring Mother a total wasted day. Myself hiding in case of family member instead of facing her taking out on me. Alcohol plays a part. Went away too expensive life time of fussing, bickering, arguing with staff. Being racist because went to London staff ethnic. I loved the staff always gave them card and gift. Putting up with the problems she caused. Now that idea of gift buying forget it. All my mother did was rewrap it give it to some on else. So as the years went on it got worse and worse. All I did was work and work and get away from them. Loads of volunteering on Christmas Day. Unfortunately it made my mental state worse. Doing crisis at Christmas. Have not done it for about twenty years memories linger long. Been every year now on own and I can see the misery, pain from one human being. I struggle as many of our community Christmas Day and beyond. I just want to say how I feel. I have contacted Samaritians sometimes on the day that helps. So this does being able to share. Thank you all for reading this and being understanding