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School dismissing concerns and not making reasonable adjustments

claudiakishiclaudiakishi Posts: 5Member Listener
edited February 2018 in Ask a parenting advisor
My son's school have failed to make the reasonable adjustments I asked for at the start of secondary school- due to my own diagnosis of aspergers and his autism prognosis, I specifically requested that the school contact me directly by phone or email to say that there was a note coming home or to notify me of tests/activities/exams etc. I explained that this was because of our struggles with executive function. They agreed. My son missed every dingle school trip or special activities for 3 years because they never once contacted me. I contacted them repeatedly to remind them of the agreement, including speaking to each teacher individually and providing them with my contact details. I finally put in a formal complaint this year and since then they have been rude and aggressive, dismissed my complaint but acknowledged that they should provide me with more information on what they are doing for my son (hasn't materialised) and refused to accept that they didn't make any reasonable adjustments prior to my complaint ( two of his teachers have since begun to contact me by email to let me know about homework due and one field trip). I was also forwarded a copy of his prelims timetable which didn't indicate which ones he would actually be taking so I assumed he had to take all 6 and made him study 6 subjects. It turned out he was only down for 2, which he and I only found out on the day of each exam. He also failed both, and they also didn't notify me of that.
We live in Scotland and his new prognosis is learning disabilities and ADHD. He's not ready to leave school emotionally or mentally. In addition to my aspergers I suffer from severe mental health problems and my physical health is declining. I can't cope with the stress this is adding to our lives

Replies

  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 5,159Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @claudiakishi, and welcome to the community! Hopefully our parenting advisor will be in touch soon, but in the meantime you may be interested in our ASD discussions.
  • claudiakishiclaudiakishi Posts: 5Member Listener
    I'm' just interested in someone helping me with this
  • claudiakishiclaudiakishi Posts: 5Member Listener
    Please can someone who knows what they'e doing answer me????
  • BillBill Posts: 32Member Talkative
    Hi @claudiakishi ,
    I'm very sorry to read of your troubles - it must have been very frustrating!
    You mention that you've in Scotland   - I know that Scottish law can be special, and I would not be able to offer you correct answers. I hope the above reply from PippaScope is helpful. 
    Bill
  • lindseylindsey Posts: 2Member Listener
    Hello, for the past several years I have worked in a primary school. This is until 2016 when I became very ill with fibromyalgia and spondylolisthesis . This makes life halved, disabling ,saddening and difficult to cope with. Now, my advice would be this. Approach the school with a request to speak to the head of year,senco worker,form tutor and take someone with you who is a calm well spoken confident support for yourself. Request that they remind themselves of their latest offstead inspection which should look at their special needs support package. They also have a duty of care for every child in school. 
  • Han_SoloHan_Solo Posts: 114Member Talkative
    Contact and write a well-considered letter to the school's board of governors. Also make sure to CC in your local councillors and MP into the letter and make it clear that they have received copies of the letter.

    This will then be kicked down to the headmaster/headmistress by the board of governors, who will then chat to the teacher/staff member responsible for these type of things.

    People do not like to be seen as not dealing with issues, it shows incompetence, and when people go over their heads and their seniors get involved, it does not look good for them.

    But the off-shot here is that now their seniors, as well as individuals not connected to the school, are now aware and their actions monitored and will now not ignore the issues that you are facing and will have to deal with it.
  • claudiakishiclaudiakishi Posts: 5Member Listener
    I have already written to the school, fully outlining the official complaint, as well as meeting with the head of year- she's the one who is being rude and aggressive at every opportunity since. They agree with my requests then completely ignore them. The headmaster reworded everything I said to make it look as though he addressed it. I'm still completely in the dark here about what the school should be doing for my son. I have a meeting with his head of year for next year next week to discuss what my son will be doing next year.
    Please will someone WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT THEY'E TALKING ABOUT answer me??? Not random suggestions from people who mean well but aren't helping (e.g. I know the law in Scotland is different ta, that' why I put it in the OP). @PippaScope didn't give me one iota of information, just wished me luck. That' no help whatsoever. I need information not luck. I wouldn't be on a special disability forum if all I needed was "luck".
    CAN SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT PLEASE ANSWER ME?!
  • Han_SoloHan_Solo Posts: 114Member Talkative
    I have never replied like this but after reading your message, i will not hold back here.

    I appreciate the kind of stress that you are under but how dare you reply like that to people on here that genuinely care and trying to help. You have no idea of who I am or what I do, or the level of help that I can actually give. and the same goes for many others on here.

    After reading your reply, I would not be surprised if people on this forum just avoided you.

    Maybe it is your bad attitude to why people are behaving aggressive and rude to you at that school.

    Hmmm?

    Why should people help if that is the way you are going to act.

    Respect works both ways. Remember that.

    How about you start by apologising to the people on this forum that are trying to help you.

    If you cannot be respectful then maybe this forum is not for you.

    I am done with you.

  • claudiakishiclaudiakishi Posts: 5Member Listener
    Wow brilliant so informative! I didn't ask for your egotistical "help" and am not bothered if you are "done", especially considering you did nothing to start with exceptional waste my time and your energy. I'm not here looking for "luck" or "best wishes" or pointless comments. You obviously don' appreciate for one single second the stress I'm under, your only concern is for your sad little ego. If you can't help, stay quiet. I don't' have to grovel or be grateful for nonsense because I'm disabled.  This forum IS for me because I am disabled. Maybe you should examine your egocentric motivations for commenting and also presuming to lecture me. 
    So again, anyone with any information willing to answer here or is there illegal discrimination against people posting from Scotland????
    Again, only respond if you won't have a tantrum 
  • AlexAlex Posts: 1,327Administrator Scope community team
    edited February 2018
    Hi @claudiakishi

    We want the community to be a safe and supportive place. Please make sure your messages respect other users’ views and suggestions, even if you don’t agree with them.

    I'm not entirely sure what advice we can offer that will appease you.

    Your complaint hasn't been resolved - so the official next step, as mentioned above, is to contact the school’s governors or academy trustees. If the complaint still isn't resolved, you should approach your local authority education department. This complaints process is outlined here on the Gov.uk website.

    Of course, there are other routes -

    You may want to consider making this a more public issue. You might find other people in a similar situation and use your experience to create a wider change. This might involve setting up a petition, going to the local press, using blogs and social media. Here are some useful sites for campaigns:
    How to run effective campaigns
    Change.org tips and tricks

    Finally, there is the legal route to consider. This sounds like it could be discrimination. The Equality Advisory Support Service discrimination helpline might be able to explain what the law says and how this applies to you. You can find their contact details on the here.
  • ParentingAdvisorVikkiParentingAdvisorVikki Posts: 45Member, Community advisor Whisperer
    @claudiakishi

    Sorry for my delay in replying to your post. I am part of the parenting advice team here and also have 2 children who have Aspergers/autism/spd and a load of other things. 

    First of all, does your son have a formal diagnosis? If he does, then you should have a IPP (Individual Provision Plan) or other similar titled plan in place, which should be reviewed every full term (3 times a year). 

    If your Son requires additional support, or if you feel the school aren't providing the correct support you can ask for a meeting with the SENCO and the SLT (senior leadership team). They can provide you with a plan going forward. I understand that you think that this is what you have done, but it doesn't sound like you made any formal plans like an IPP. 

    MOVING FORWARD: 

    I would recommend putting all communications with the school in writing. And always giving them a time limit to reply to you, usually 14 days. I would ask for all meetings to be minuted and ask for a copy of the minutes. Then you have everything agreed in writing. 

    If your sons school isn't working then it may be time to look at a provision that can greater meet his needs, and your needs as a family. 
    Have you applied for a Co-ordinated support plan? You can find information on this here

    I hope this helps. 
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