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M.P complaint

bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
Hi everyone!

I don't want to jinx anything, but I had to share some news with you.
And say a big "Thank you" to @cooper1965 for all your help, advice and support.

Today my husband received a phone call "from a case worker" from my M.Ps office.
She told my husband, that my M,P is meeting up with the "Secretary of state" later this week.
To highlight the disgraceful way, I have been treated.
And that they will be contacting DWP on my behalf, to find out what is going on with my case?

When my husband informed them! that I have kept every doctors letters, appointment letters etc.
They told him that they may ask for me, more information from me? to create a case study, to highlight how unfair the system is?

I hope after my assessment on Thursday, I wont have to deal with P.I.P again.


  • MisscleoMisscleo Posts: 580Member Pioneering
     so glad your MP doing his job. Hope it works out for you
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @Misscleo
    Thank you for your support :)
  • jackykinsjackykins Posts: 16Member Connected
    glad you are getting help its sad that we have to fight so hard because of disability good luck x
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good morning How are you.?  At last some action super, great, fantastic.

    This is a message of support I hope the MP listens, you can get a result.

    I hope you can try not to worry.  It seems that something is happening now to all people like yourself and others in our Community.  

    I agree that since the reports have come out.  What the hell is going on.  Seeing current PMQ''s on Wednesday plus Question Time recently.  Lot of changes.

    Ministers and MP's are being grilled over the treatment we are all receiving.  They do not like it.

    Lovely to talk to you again.

    Wish you the best in every success 

    Take care
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman

    Good afternoon
    Thank you for your support has always.  :)

    I'm not having a good day today, im feeling very low.

    I've just recieved more letters, from a hospital i recently had tests at. And I'm feeling very emotional.
    Everything is a matter of fact, if You know what I mean.

    It makes me so angry, I'm being put through all this again.
    But I'm not going to be intimidated by the DWP.
    I'm sure their are a lot of people, who are reluctant to go through the process again. "me included"
    But I'm not the kind of person, who just gives up.

    2 more days till my assessment, and I can't Wait for it to be over.

    Thank you
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Sorry what is happening.  I hope you will be OK.  I can understand getting emotional, struggling with illness is the hardest is not easy.

    I just hope you find the strength to be determined to get a result.  I know in my heart you will succeed.

    I am here to listen.  Apologise for getting to you later, to reply.  

    I will speak to you again if you wish about anything if it helps.

    Please take care
  • englishroseenglishrose Posts: 5Member Listener
    Good luck bevt2017. You are a very strong positive last.  Going to take what you said on board as have been through the PIP process and that are now putting me through the same with ERA. Will it never end. 
  • englishroseenglishrose Posts: 5Member Listener
    That should read ESA. Sorry.
  • MisscleoMisscleo Posts: 580Member Pioneering
    Tha support on this site is amazing.
    Only met 1 horrible person. He thought the tax payer should pay for the gas and electic he used.
    Everyone has been very pleasent
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 5,856Member Disability Gamechanger
    This sounds really positive @bevt2017, thank you for sharing this with us! It's terrible that you had to endure such a negative experience in this first place, but I'm really glad to hear that you have the support of your MP. Do keep us updated!
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman

    Good morning! I hope your having a lovely day.

    Sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday, I was really upset.

    Well I have finally finished all my photo copying, of all my medical reports and letters. So there is nothing left for me to do now, but wait for my assessment. :s

    always a pleasure to speak to you
    Bev :)
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @englishrose

    Good morning! 

    Thank you :)

    I hope all goes well with your ESA Assessment?
    "let me know how you get on".

    its a disgrace what we have to go through, don't let them get you down "says me" I know its hard, but we have to keep fighting. 

    Bev :)
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Good morning @Misscleo

    hope your having a lovely day :)

    Thank you for your kind words.

    That's very true! I have had so much support from the community "they have been amazing". 
    Bev :)
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @PippaScope

    good morning! 

    My Assessments tomorrow! so fingers crossed all goes well?
    I will keep you posted about the MP.

    Bev :)
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 5,856Member Disability Gamechanger
    Best of luck @bevt2017, we'll be thinking of you! Do let us know how you get on.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good morning How are you?  I know bit anxious, on tenterhooks.  Take it easy, been there, rehearse what you wish to say.  Before I went to any assessment.

    Also have plenty of information, the lady who assessed me, did typing had to ask me to slow down.  So try and remain calm.  Try to make the assessor what and how you are on your really bad day.

     Always in my thoughts.

    I hope and pray for best outcome.

    I am here as all the community to listen.

    Take care
  • cooper1965cooper1965 Posts: 7Member Listener
    Thinking of you good luck
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Good Morning Everyone :)

    My assessment was "horrific".  "sorry its very long"

    Well! when we got to the building for my assessment, it was about 11.30am, the appointment wasn't until 11.45am.

    firstly my husband had to struggle, getting me through 2 doors in my wheelchair. "no one came to help us". 

    When we finally got into the building, the first thing I noticed was a really bad smell of mould. when we looked around, there was no desk to report too, and no one came up to us, to ask who we was? or explained what we needed to do? " so my husband sat down.

    Then a lady came into the building, showed her ID to some man, then started to approach me? " I thought she was the assessor?  she then showed me her ID, and on the badge it said she was a "speech to txt reporter"? " I said I don't understand"? The DWP told my husband that "there tech guys" would make sure a txt relay machine would be on site ready for my assessment. "not a person"? Anyway! she then started to talk to my husband "she didn't look very happy". she was told by the man, that there can only be one other person in the room, so he walked off, to ask some one for advice?

    I did notice another man in a separate room, when we first came in, "I could see him through a large window".
    So we was sat waiting, when all of a sudden, my husband picked up my ID? when I turned around there was a man standing at the side of me? my husband gave him my ID, then he walked off. I asked him, "who was that"? he said I don't know? he never introduced himself. he had walked up to me, and asked me, for my ID? he said "I don't think he knows your deaf"?

    I was waiting for about 20 min, when I decided I needed to use the toilets? "but there were no signs in the building"? so my husband went to ask someone?
    When we got to the toilets, the disabled toilet was too small. my husband had to struggle, physically lifting me up in my wheelchair to get me in the toilet. there was excrement in the toilet, and the smell was unbearable. plus by the time we got in there, we couldn't find any toilet roll. "my husband would off had to climb over me, then the wheelchair just to get out." luckily I had some in my bag.
    by this time I'm upset and just wanted to come home.

    when we finally managed to get out, there was the same man, who asked me for my ID. He spoke to my husband, looked at the reporter, then walked off again. "I said what's happening now"? the man told my husband, "he didn't know about the reporter"? and needed to get some advice as there is only one other, aloud in the room.  "I was fuming"

    eventually about 12.30pm, the assessment began.
    he asked me stupid questions like did I go to high school? what grades did I leave with? "non of it was relevant" he asked me things like could I add up? which I replied "I'm deaf not stupid"
    after the questionnaire I handed him numerous reports from doctors, pictures etc. which he then replied "I need to let you know, "I only have small envelopes" I didn't have a reply for that one?

    Then he asked me could he do a physical examination, "I said yes" then he got me to sign something?
    I struggled getting out of the wheelchair to start with, and the things he was asking me to do, was to hard. "I couldn't breath, and I was in a lot of pain" when my husband saw me getting upset, he told me to sit down. "I nearly went over the chair, has I sat down".
    That's when I had an anxiety / panic attack. 
    I was crying so much I couldn't calm myself down, my heart was racing, my face felt like it was on fire, my head was banging, I couldn't get my breath, my chest was tight I thought I was going to have a astma attack. the man did nothing just sat there and watched. I had to stay in the room and in the reception area, just why I tried to compose myself. I cried in the taxi  all the way home, and most of that day. and the pain in my feet, and knees were to much.

    I never want to go through all that again!
    but if they think they have won, they can think again. 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Please can I say how sorry I am to see you suffer like this.  This is horrific what a experience.  First my heart goes out to you and your husband.

    I can not understand this at all.  Subjected to this terrible treatment by people who should have used common sense.  Where is the professionalism from staff and those people in assessing you should be given a stern rebuke.

    What should have happened never has.  The lack of support and compassion from staff.  Why was not any body there to help and assist you.  This for me needs to be answered.  A whole catalogue of disasters all wrong in every respect.

    Whether you need to complain I know at this present time.  You have mixed emotions and anger, upset, pain.  You need to consider this if you do not mind me telling you.

    I know I would because this should never happen but it does.  This from one who has similar experiences.  

    This is not about me is it.  It is about you.  I hope and pray as you do succeed.      That is what you have to say to you self.  Try and be positive. Try to be upbeat which is not easy I know.

    Always in my thoughts am here if you wish to talk.  As if all of the community to give you support.

    Take care.
  • ColourfullColourfull Posts: 59Member Courageous
    Great very well done to you I have also signed a petition to do with being partially sighted to with p.i.p I got an email back from my M.P saying they will contact me further it's absolutely disgusting how they treat people with disabilities and I am Not Prepared to put up with it  at all.

    I will be contacting my M.P further after my assessent by D.W.P Be ive me they will know about it.

  • JennysDadJennysDad Posts: 2,308Member Pioneering
    Hello @bevt2017
    Words fail me. I am so very, very sorry.
    Love to you and your husband
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman
    Thank you has always for your support. 
    I'm still shaken up, upset and angry by the whole experience on Thursday.
    But I'm not the kind of person to give up.
    I have already sent an email to the case worker, at my MPs office.
    "So they should have it on monday"

    My husband has said, he is going to contact DWP on Monday morning, to start the complaints procedure.

    Can I just say! That the reporter who attended. was not happy with the whole thing. But there was nothing she could do for me.

    HI @Colourfull
    Thank you for your support.
    Good for you! And I hope all goes well for your assessment?
    Please let me know how you get on?

    HI @richard1234
    Thank you for your support has always.
    All the assessor did was go through the questions, and tried to trip me up on all my answers. When he mentioned my infections "he called them rashes" so I showed him graphic pics of all of them, and said "do they look like rashes to you" 
    There's to much to go through on here. If you knew the things he asked me, you would be disgusted.

    Thank you everyone
    Bev x
  • JennysDadJennysDad Posts: 2,308Member Pioneering
    Hi @bevt2017
    Nothing needed explaining. I was beyond disgusted already. Take care of yourself, 
    Warmest best [email protected]
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Thank you for reply.  I thank you for kind words always a pleasure to listen and give support

    I hope and pray that some action in due course will happen..

    Always here for reassurance.

    In my thoughts and prayers

    Take care

    Your friend

    The Spiceman

  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman
    Good evening!
    Hope you are Well?.

    I did forget to mention! That a question came up, about communication? 
    I said I talk to the community on scope. " HE looked puzzled"
    when I started to explain who scope was. He cut me off and said. "I'm well aware of scope"
    I must of struck a nerve  ;)
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good evening hope your Sunday went quietly and try to relax.

    Thank you for asking how are am. The question of communication yes I agree.  I think he obviously knew about SCOPE.  All the good stuff they do.

    I hope and pray you pass.

    Always in my thoughts and prayers

    Take care
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman

    Thank you for all your support! has always.

    I hope you had a good day also?

    I have decided to make a complaint    

  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good afternoon how are you?  Hope you are trying to take it easy.

    I forgot to add when you sent my message.  I had this remembering stuff I had said.  My emotions and feelings come back.  Just a thought.

    All I have done and said to the assessor.  Wish I had said this and that.  This is natural and I do not what you to worry.  You will I know, I would.

    Please can I say you are an amazing person.  You have done nothing wrong.  You are suffering right now but I will not let them get to me.  I hope and pray for a wonderful outcome.

    I say this to myself, but the implies to you and anybody of the community who goes through this trauma.

    I will be praying for you.  

    Your friend
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman

    I do that a lot!
    my husband tells me off all the time, about me over thinking things. And when I start something "anything" I start to regret it straight away.

    I'm not bothered about the assessors report, my husband said I did a fantastic job of explaining myself. "even though he tried to confuse me"

    I'm just so tired of fighting all the time.
    I don't have family or friends that visit me, and I feel like a prisoner in my body and home.
    I cry at night because I cant cope, and no one understands what I have to deal with everyday.
    its pure hell being deaf and having this tinnitus it just doesn't stop.
    I pray that I fall to sleep and never wake up.

    You are a good person 
    Thank you so much for your support
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bev2017 ; Thank you for reply.  Yes I know and do understand.  I am your buddy here so just remember first of all that.  I am here to help listen and just be a friend most of all.  You are just like me.  I'm deaf all my hearing messed up,

    Have a genetic disorder plus addiction going some days I can not hear a thing.

    My pet hate people do not talk clearer.  Nice and slow no mouthing the words.  Had that the other week.  Silly woman all I want to do was ram her head into the TV in the room.

    Sorry I have this sometimes shock people when I say some thing I just say it.

    Went to the hearing clinic last time.  Opticians now do hearing test.  Total idiot who did mine.  I could not hear what he was saying.  Had a bad case of bad breath.  I kept saying pardon. Stinky smelly guy.

    Had to stop this had enough.  More like a comic skit out of Hancocks' Half Hour.  With me as the lad himself.

    Well he said you have a hearing problem.  Just to be sure make you another appointment.  Me gagging want to be sick.  Got the gist of that more money to spend.  If you do not mind and ran out.

    Anxiety, sweating again.  Got a load of Emails how was your experience at .  Filled out the questionnaire.  Ranted and raved.

    I do feel for you.  I know it is not easy having these issues and problems.

    It is worth writing them out.  Making a diary to help,  I used to do this.  Your have aright to be angry.

    I hope this might help.  You say have no family.  You have a family here.  This community.  I call them my family of the forum.  I am also proud to call you a friend.

    May be your partner needs to say to your now and again.  I am here to listen and I care and I love you.  I do know he does.  Many men find it hard to say that.

    Struggling in a relationship with any body who has a disability.

    I was in my relationship with a disability plus my addiction.  Made for hard living.

    I have lost so many people to my addiction.  Ladies who were probably not right for me yet I was trying to cope.

    It is all about small steps.  What do wish to do ?  How would changes benefit you.?

    What do you do to get yourself in a positive mood?

    What would make you happy?

    These are all things I say to myself.

    Use small steps .  Make a plan.  Make a drawing of a ladder.  Put rungs on.  Each rung.  Start on bottom easier thing you can achieve first.

    Them goals each rung make a plan.  Could be with your partner.  Top rung is the thing the impossible one.  Could be the unreachable.

    Remember you are in control you can do this.  I had to change stop drinking went on few lifestyle well being course.  All ladies no men.  Anxiety, depression really bad.

    Found GOD found new friends got rid of a lot.

    I did this over a long time.  None is rushing you are they.

    Please speak to me again.  Just ideas, suggestions.  Might not be for you, some might not wish to do.  Your choice your life.

    Always in my thoughts and prayers

    Your friend
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    HI @thespiceman

    I'm sorry you made me laugh, about the man with bad breath.  :D

    You have a temper like me! apparently mine's due to early menopause. I get really angry when people talk to me, and I tell them "sorry I'm deaf' and they still keep talking to me. I always get angry with doctors "except my neurologist" my husband will tell them I'm deaf, and to write things down for me "They never do" and continue to talk to my husband. I feel like a child, waiting for the adults to talk, and if im good maybe my daddy will tell me later.

    Today I got very annoyed at a lady from the carers. She came to my house to talk about my daughter. I was sat at the table for an hour, while my husband and her had a conversation. "I wasn't included" later he told me she was asking about me?

    I would ask your doctor to refer you to a audiologist. They are very quick, and I've never noticed them having bad breaths lol.

    I'm the same! all my so called friends work, and have no idea what it's like for me. Fighting P.i.P nothing. I always say God forbid something happens to there loved ones. and they find themselves in my place. How would they feel to be regected. 

    You sound like you have been through a lot. I worry all the time about wether I will start being addicted to pain relief. It can't be helped. So my option is to live in pain aswell. "I don't think so"

    The assessor asked me what my hobby was? I said I don't have one is fighting P.i.P since 2016 a hobby? "NO reply"

    Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day?. I am looking forward to the fundraising pack scope have done. I still get emotional when I read it.
    You are proberbly one of the people who can relate.

    You are deffenatly my friend.
    We have a FRIEND in common also. She's amazing like you, full of support.
    I need to be her support now.

    Take care friend
    Bev  :)
  • cooper1965cooper1965 Posts: 7Member Listener
    You have many people who care for you in this community.l have been through this and feel your pain.whatever happens we will support and fight with you and your husband until you get through this.l see your strength and determination shinning through

  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @cooper1965

    That's lovely!
    Thank you  :)

    I need more people like you, and the community in my life.
    The world would be a better place to live in if we did.

    Thank you again for your kind words.
    Hope all is well with you too? 
    All the best 
    Bev  :)
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,246Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hi bev

    you will always have friends here and as much support as we can give you.

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good morning how are you?  Wow winter wonderland this morning.  Well I glad I make you laugh, smile I hope you are OK.

    I am a pretty placid sort of guy ,but recently get Mr. Angry due to increasing frustration with every thing our community suffers.  Annoyed with The Government that is putting it politely.  Unfairness of our society, no one ever understands me.  Except my own people our community.

    I am Life Long President of The Grumpy Old Men Club.  Just get sick and tired of why does everything become a scene out of One Foot In The Grave me as Victor.  I need reassurance,  I need if I go to a shop at least be polite and supportive.  Not a faceless person ignoring me,  Whizzing my purchases down some chute.  Damaging the goods.  Cracked eggs, bruised fruit and battered exhausted ego.

    Easy simple tasks become a struggle and made worse as I grow old disgracefully.

    You see even I have a rant and rave, so I have to go on.  Which I do.

    I would just like to say thank you for suggestions.

    I have now said to myself s--d it regarding hearing.  Them the problem not me, not our community.  Who are understanding.  This is an example of how daft, silly NHS services are.  Few years ago went to audiolist in my local town.  Said need aids to hear.  Right sent me to  a town half the world away, why closest one to me shut NHS funding.  Which was a ten minute ride.  Rang up yes made appointment to this clinic far away at early hours of the morning.  Around 8 am .  I was blinking twice got a shock you mean 9 am.  No 8am, how the hell am I going to do this then.  I know I will have to cancel.  Sorry when's next appointment.?

    Silence let you know cut me off.  Several days go by I thought ring again.  Appointment Ah yes well next one is in two weeks time, said wait for it near to 6pm in the evening.  I was stunned from one extreme to the other.  This town more than a hour away.  I am not good driving so that was that.  Just left it.

    I am in pain most days due to addiction history up and about, just like dull aches in legs and back.  I will be OK though.  Have to fight and with a little prayer go on.  You and me are similar so we try and support each other.

    I see you got a fundraising pack from SCOPE.  I believe that could help you.

    I hope what ever you do take care my friend.
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman

    Good morning to you too!
    Yes! The snow is has arrved  :)

    "not many peope can put a smile on my face"  :)

    Yes! I know what you mean.
    I'm a very quite, shy person normally. But I'm just so angry all the time. "Its scary".

    I feel so let down by the governent.
    I was talking to a friend of ours.
    About how I have been on my own since I was 18. "Phyiscally mentally abused" I didn't pass any GCSEs but i have always worked since I left school. And worked, even when I had my 3 children.
    I also joined the special constabulary at age 22. So the question about! did I go to high school? Or did I pass any GCSEs makes me so mad.

    "Grumpy old men " love it.  :)
    That's shocking about the hearing hospital "but doesn' surprise me"

    We just have to help and support each other. I was having a bad day yesterday, but I'm ready to take on the world again.

    Thank you has always for your support.
    Hope you have a lovely calm day.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Thank you for words and comments very kind.

    There is nothing wrong getting angry.  Every one has these moments of anger.  It is how to use the anger into some thing more positive.  I used to do writing poems and short stories.  In my young days drumming and gym work.

    Stopped doing all of that but continued gym into last year.  Mainly using a bike.  Helped but exhausted.  Get days but use this instead this forum.  Calming techniques.  Classic FM and music, deep breathing, meditation as well.

    All of us had those experiences of why did I do that?.  How did I do that?  If only that had happened.  Done this.  I had the same experience at school not very gifted but knew could pass some subjects.

    Then day of exam arrived all the A plus students arrived I thought what is going on here.  So it turned out they had double entry exams, paid for the exams to sit.

    All of us minor's who had studied hard hollered if they can not do GCSE should have done this.  On reflection went to College late in life got NVQ Level 1 to 4 Business Admin plus loads of minor useful stuff.

    Qualifications which I use for my mental health and addiction.  You see life in the old dog yet.  Do not know this but in my area we have a College called The Recovery College.  Courses are for every one who has a illness, mental or physical.  Funded by NHS and local mental health charities.

    All courses to do with meds, mental health symptoms, life style and other changes like sleep and meeting people.  Perhaps you have some thing like it where you live.  A lot of the courses are adapted for all disabilities plus last time it was all for the ladies.  I was the only gent.

    I enjoy them very much if and when I need to enrol.  All courses are free usually.  Some thing maybe to look at just a suggestion.  Went on several around anxiety helps.

    May I say you got and done things I have not.  You have children I have none, just never really worked out.  Meet ladies and their children.  Treat all like my own.

    Relationships fizzle out and often due to me not being honest about my addiction.

    Hate myself many times for that, lying to cover up.  Then the relationships where again this hard to say being abusive to me horrible times.  No one realised what was going on.  I had my Mother like this.  Now I am in a relationship with a lady who is hurting me mentally, physically.  I had no one to talk to or to tell at the time.

    They say time is a healer.  Been twenty years plus and it is always going to be there.  If I meet some one is she going to be abusive.  Always on my mind constantly.

    I thank you for your support as always.  I am here to listen

    Take care have a calm day

    This grumpy old man is going to try.
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman

    WOW! a drummer, thats awesome. My husband was a roadie sound technition. "A very long time ago"

    I was a bit naughty in school "the class clown" on all my reports it said "easy led by others" lol.
    But having no GCSEs hasn't stopped me getting what I want.
    I did go to college later on in life, and I have now a diploma in floristry, with distinctions throughout. 

    Awww that's good you have found a support group. The lady who came yesterday. Has said she is looking into " finding funding for sign language glases"? I've heard that before.

    No one has the right to beat anyone "physically or verbally" man or woman.
    People like that are not worth the time even thinking about it. I know it's hard "believe me" your better off on your own, without all that.
    You just haven't found that special someone "yet"

    I always say! you can't go back in time, to change the past. You can only learn from it, and make sure you don't do the same, to your loved ones.

    Always here if you need a friend to talk too.
    Bev  :)
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good evening I'm back the computer broke down this afternoon .   So old has a handle at the side to wind it up.

    I had really missed you gosh wow back on.  Yes I am a bit of an mystery man one of my lovely friends on the forum told me.  Thank you.

    I am a bit of an entertainer and use my daft silly jokes to give people a laugh. I am sometimes have done it in front of audiences bit of stand up. The days when I had a drink in my hand coping mechanism helps with anxiety then.

    Also if your in a support group nothing like some humour to lighten the load of worry.  I hope and pray when I arrive.  I can feel the tension we all been there.

    Some days you have to I have skits, routines in my head when I go out.  Helps in crowded places.  People look at me weird because I talking to myself .  Reciting some old skit or sketch.

    The drumming started because I was so stressed with living with my family.  I suppose that might imply to you.  Having children and the rest.

    Problem was my Mother I know I said this before.  People who have never experienced living with a person who is a bully or controller.  Had a say powerful dominate every ounce of my life.

    Fro what I wore to what I eat how I sat spoke.  Those that have know what I am talking about.  Every day for probably twenty plus years.

    One example this would drive you nuts and get you mad.  So we the family going out for a meal about 8pm.  Tables booked we ready to go.

    She's laid the table why well you need something to eat.  We are at 8pm no now.  Hang if we eat now won't be able to eat at 8pm.

    So this went on.  Trying to stuff food in to people who want to leave for a family meal at 8pm.

    So off we go eventually get there she says my Mother not hungry.  We are.  Do not want anything she says and so it goes on.  All of us eating her not.  Some of these cafe's and bistro's are Italian and French.  These people offended.  Argument's ensued so it goes on.

    Guess what get home around 11pm I 'm hungry now she says.  You will be you had nothing to eat.  I exclaimed.  Like living in a Carry on Film or a Giles Cartoon.

    That is one small example why I started drumming.

    I told a therapist one time over 10 weeks I believe.  He said every morning wrap a towel around your hand and hit it hard against a wall.  Only solution to that.  If I had lived with your Mother being her partner divorce papers on the table.

    Still remember him saying that.

    Thank you for thinking of me of my problems in relationships.

    One of the issues I have had is disclosing my health history.

    Said this other day, we have a pub culture and if I say or do mention don't drink.  Every one thinks something wrong.

    I hope you keep safe in the cold weather

    Always here if unless I have to wind up the computer again.

    Take care

  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman  

    Sorry for the late reply, I've missed our little chats.
    I took some sleeping pills last night, and I'm still half a sleep. "I keep knoding off" lol.  :)

    I Hope you are feeling better today my friend. "Mystery man"

    I'm sorry your mother put you through so much. Mine was never around, she worked in a home for abussed children. I was abused everyday by her husband. She just played mined games with me "Horrible people"

    I can understand your frustration, maybe I would of suggested something else. "Other than hiiting a wall". When I had councilling about my child hood. She told me to write a letter, about the abuse I had to endure. When I had finished the letter. She told me to either put it some were safe, burn it, or send it to her. "I sent it"

    I knew a lady who I went to collage with. who told me it' was so hard to meet men, because she doesn't drink. 
    That's society for you I guess?

    How are you feeling today? 
    I hope your having a better day.

    Always here if you need a friend
    Bev  :)
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,795Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good evening.  That's OK that's good to hear you.  Anytime.  I am here been on all day on and off.  Just bad mentally.  Anxiety and the weather keep warm and safe.

    So all my friends like your self helping me mentally.  Thank you all lol.

    Lot better my friend has ploughed through the snow to reach me.  Suffering got food and stores, rang him for meds.  Wrote it down but forgot it.  So he picked up prescription.

    Enough happy pills for a month, does help.

    I did do my life story about a year to do.  Yes a year .  So much.  Problem was seeing every morning.  The whole book case that big.  Remember a lot of stuff had to get it out.

    Bought a shredder took me months to do it.  Cost me a fortune in paper and A4 Binders.

    I also what has not helped all of us who suffer.  Is Savile that bloke not only effected his victims but then others who suddenly realised.  Why they are ill.

    I got triggers of this again I'm sure that what set it all off.  Buried in my head.  Here's the other thing.  It never goes away.

    One day when that will be I will start dating again.

    Big issue is that meeting people.  Who do not understand me at all.

    My favourite joke at the minute dating.  So I put an ad in the paper and all the good things.   Good looking with out the glasses,  Likes making a spectacle of one's self. GSOH must have.  Own hair and teeth.  Really rich so much money when I go to the loo spend a penny. The Mystery Man.

    Got one reply my Mother .

    Just my luck 

    Hope you take care speak to you soon

    Hope your day went well.

    your friend
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi everyone and @PippaScope @CockneyRebel

    Just an update about the M.P complaint.

    My MPs office contacted my husband on Friday.
    She is going to write a complaints letter, to DWP and ATOS "on my behalf" about the appalling way I have been treated.

    She has a meeting, a week on Tuesday, with the minister of state for DWP.
    So she has asked me for more information, so she can use my case, has an example.

    me and my husband have also been invited, to go and visit her at their office.
    Sounds promising?

    I will let you all know how I get on?
    Bev :)
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,246Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Bev

    That does sound positive, thanks for letting us know

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • MisscleoMisscleo Posts: 580Member Pioneering
    Hey sounds good. Give as much info as you can.
    and please remember the rest of us who are suffering too and also need her help to deal with the DWP.
    Many thanks 
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @CockneyRebel

    You know a lot about P.I.P?

    Today my husband recieved a phone call from DWP.

    They said the reason they were ringing him. Was that she noticed that I had mentioned, something about being ignored?
    They said that the decision letter they would send out, will be addressed to my husband and not me? "she didn't want me to get upset"
    They said the decision will be made today, and we should receive it in about 7-10 days?

    But then they told my husband, about the mandatory re-consideration has an option?
    That to me makes me think they have rejected it?

    My husband asked why they asked him, were I got my wheelchair from? They said because some people say they borrowed it from a relative?

    Yesterday after I recieved the assessment report. "I can't believe he lied on most of questions".
    I wanted to end it all.
    I just couldn't read anymore, and wanted to give up fighting

    "But today I am angry"

    I still haven't managed to go through the report. "Im to stressed"
    And just need a break.

    My husband has contacted ASOS twice, about the complaint package. 
    "Which we haven't recieved still"

    Who do I contact instead?
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,246Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hi bev

    At the time of the phone call, the decision may not have been made and the reference to MR does not mean you have been refused. If a decision had/has been made, then it maybe lower than you expect/deserve which would make the next step to be taken is an MR

    Have you managed to go through the report and add the points ?

    As for the complaints package, you can try contacting them again and as your MP seems to be on your side I would let them know the difficulty you are having with this

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering

    Hi CR

    Ok thanks! 
    Maybe I'm just predicting the worse?
    I have been told that they can't change my first claim? has it was court ordered? Is that right?
    I only wanted them to change my mobility?
    But like you say, there is always a risk.

    I'm going to look at it again tomorrow. "So I will let you know"  
    about the points.

    I've told him to ring them again tomorrow, and ask to speak to somene senior this time.

    Yes! My husband seems to think she has already been in contact?

    The lady at the deaf society has already told me off for saying I want to give up.
    I need to get my head right then tackle it again.
    I may ask for your help again

    Thanks CR
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,246Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    edited March 2018
    Hi bev

    A new decision will supercede any previous award even if awarded by tribunal
    I will be here if and when I can be of assisstance

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @CockneyRebel

    So Sorry I still haven't been able to read all the assessment.
    It's just lies after lies, it's shocking.
    Every time I read it, I start crying.

    My MP is traveling to London this morning. For the meeting with The Secretary of State for P.I.P. tomorrow. Her office has said they will contact me Asap with the outcome of that meeting?

    My husband contacted P.I.P this morning. Only because there was a payment made by DWP, and we didn't know what that was for?.

    Anyway! DWP have changed my living and mobility to the enhanced rate. They have also back dated payment, from when i re-applied.

    Why did DWP put me through that assessment? Only to ignore what the assessor has written in his report?
    It doesn't make sence?
    They sent a paramedic who knew nothing about "sweets sydrone" or my infections?
    He made the assessment, bassed on my looks only?

    Regardless of P.I.P award, I am still going to make a complaint to ASOS.
    The ASOS complaint details came on Saturday. "After a third phone call to them from my husband".
    So I will do that ASAP.

    Both DWP and ASOS have appologised to my husband. For all the stress and upset they have caused me.

    For me it's been horrific!
    I haven't eaten in days,
    I Have another infection now on my face, all because of all the stress.

    I will let you know about the MPs outcome?. And my ASOS complaint?

    Thanks again for everyone's support. 
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,246Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hi bev

    I am sorry that you had to go through all this.
    I am really happy that you have beem given the award you deserve, Thank you for letting us know
    Please do try and eat

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi Everyone!

    "Im just giving you an update".

    Today I recieved an email, from my MPs office.
    They told me that the meeting with my MP and The Secretary of State for P.I.P, had been cancelled on Tuesday?.
    "After they had travelled all the way to london". 
    But that they have arranged, another meeting in about 2 weeks time?.

    They then asked me, if anyone had been in contact with Me?.
    I said the only people who have contacted my husband was DWP
    And apparently that was only a courtesy call.
    To let me know that they were going to make a decision that day. And that the decision letter would be addressed to my husband and not me. 
    They also said that they didn't want me to get upset about that? 

    "I thought that was very strange they have never done that before"?

    Anyway! I told them that DWP had in fact given me my award.
    "Regardless of the assessment report"? 
    They said well that's (surprising) because out of the 10 cases they were bringing to the meeting. I am the 5th person, to be told that DWP have called and sorted out my claim.
    I said but it was sorted well before Tuesday?
    They said that they had sent all 10 cases to the minister, about a week before the meeting.

    "Now it makes sence"

    So I thanked them for what they have done for me.
    But because of the assessment and report. I was still going to make a complaint to ASOS.
    "No one should be treated like that" They agreed! And they would also let me know how the meeting goes.

    Thanks everyone for your support
    Bev x
  • JennysDadJennysDad Posts: 2,308Member Pioneering
    Hello @bevt2017 and it is good to hear from you.
    I'm surprised anyone was surprised that the DWP, facing interrogation by your MP, suddenly found a way to resolve your claim :smile: I think it's called 'ducking and diving' and very much suggests they knew they were skating on thin ice.
    Anyway, it seems to have worked for you, which is what matters. I hope this means you can relax a little and start to eat properly and take care of yourself.
    Very warmest best wishes to you,
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @JennysDad

    Thanks Richard  :)

    I'm so happy I asked for help now.
    I wasn't sure if it would do any good to be honest.
    I'm going to visit with them soon, just to say thank you in person.

    I am eating a little now thank you.

    And i start sign lauguge on Monday  :)

    I have also agreed to go to councilling. 
    Bev x
  • JennysDadJennysDad Posts: 2,308Member Pioneering
    All the very best to you, Bev. Take care now <3
  • cooper1965cooper1965 Posts: 7Member Listener
    Hi Bev just logged on see how your claim was going and understand that you have won a great victory. I am delighted for you and your husband.your strength and fighting spirit have shown there strength in the hard battle you have had.i think that you and your experience could be a help to many who have yet to go into battle.    Once again well done                
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @cooper1965

    A big "thank you" to you, for all your help, advice and support.

    You and the community have helped me so much.  :)

    And you have given me the strength i needed to carry on.
    So "Thank you"
    Bev <3
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi everyone!

    just an update! "sorry for the late reply"

    My husband received a phone call from my MPs office on Friday morning, asking if we would like to come down to see them? They said "its always good to meet face to face". When we got there everyone was so nice, and we was greeted at the lift by my MPs assistant. "unfortunately my MP was still in London"
    Then they took us through to the MPs office, so we could have a chat "they even had pens and paper ready, to communicate with me, and ask me questions" I loved that.
    They asked me a bit about my life? about my disability's? and how they affect me?.
    Then we started to go through the assessment report! "I was very emotional" 

    They said:- Even though they have sorted out 5 cases "out of 10". they are still going to inform the "The secretary of state for DWP" about the shocking way people are being treated, and that the selection processes is seriously flawed. people are suffering at the hands of "in my case a paramedic" that are not qualified to make decisions on medical conditions.
    They are also challenging "The secretary of state for DWP" that that the process needs to be changed. And that "ATOS" are clearly lying in their reports and assessments.
    Not only are they "bending" the facts they are also causing people unnecessary upset and distress.
    They also told me that "ministers do not have power but they do have influence" 
    "They then brought out a file with everything I have sent to them".
    They want me to send them my assessment report "which clearly states they have "NOT" written an accurate report. they have lied, and they have clearly left out vital "medical evidence". 

    They have arranged another appointment next week, with "The secretary of state for DWP" so I will let you know how they get on?
    I am still going through the assessment report, to make a serious complaint to "ASOS". "I'm not giving up" 
    Bev x
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi everyone and @nannap

    Sorry I have been so busy with this ASOS complaint and my MP ect.
    I will post what's been happening later on today.
    It's My first day out in months.
    Thanks for the messages.
  • NannaPNannaP Posts: 44Member Connected
    Hi @bevt2017 .
    Hope your well and all going good for you.
    It was a waste of my time with my MP. No help at all. M R stayed the same. As of next week I will be housebound as car goes back. Waiting for paperwork to come through so I can start tribunal. 
    Good luck sweet
    P x
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @NannaP

    I'm doing ok thank you :) 
    I'm disgusted your MP has done nothing to help you. 
    I know all to well what its like being trapped in my home. 
    I hope everything goes well at the tribunal?
    bev xx

  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    hi everyone!

    on the 30/04/2018 I received an email from my MPs office.
    She said the meeting with the secretary of state for DWP went really well?
    And the up shot was that DWP were saying that people need to put more information on their original claims?.
    They have contacts in the area for CHDA and IAS, and when they are fully staffed again? they are going to visit them to discuss the process, and how it can be for some claimants.
    she has also printed of my statement that I sent to ATOS and she will share this with CHDA formerly ATOS when they meet.

    I did send my complaint to ATOS, and a few weeks ago got a reply, saying that the complaint I sent in was under investigation.?

    A few days ago, I finally received a letter from IAS about my assessment (7 pages long).
    they apologised for any in convenience that has been caused to me. and it is not their intention to cause any distress. they could not comment on the speech to txt reporter, only that IAS should of been the ones to organise the interpreters "not DWP" which is why they employ big word. 
    they were sorry to hear the staff were unprofessional and discourteous, as all staff are aware they are representing IAS and must remain professional at all times.
    the up shot being a lot of apologising, but then informing me of their procedures. And even though their were 2 other people in the room "it is extremely difficult to recognise what was or was not said during the assessment. however if I can supply specific examples supported by medical evidence this may result in a further investigation? 
    if I am unable to provide supporting evidence they cannot pursue this matter any further? this does not mean that they have dismissed the issues raised, and that they can confirm details about my assessment will be retained for future reference. 
    With regards to the assessor! a record of this complaint will be held on his file, in the event of further complaints about this HP. they apologise again and say, unfortunately complaints of this nature are often impossible to recognise, especially regarding the manner of the HP as they were not present at the time and therefore cannot substantiate either way what was said or done. they said it is regrettable that they have been unable to recognise my complaint to my satisfaction on this occasion.

    hopefully this assessor will make sure he doesn't treat another disabled person with such disrespect or lie in his report.
    I'm not giving up regardless of DWP decision to ignore the IAS report.
    I will let you all know about my MPS visit with CHDA and IAS.
    thank you for your support
    Bev x

  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi everyone!

    My MP did have a meeting with CHDA, but still has of yet not spoken with IAS.

    She said she had an interesting and informative meeting with CHDA. She raised some interesting points about the process and has you can guess, there was an answer for everything she raised (I said they are probably reading from the same handbook).
    However it wasn't necessary in line, with what people are telling her about there experiences. So she challenged them?

    She is now looking at other things, she can do to challenge them. Has the process isn't working and causing unessary upset and stress to disabled people.

    Not what I wanted to hear, but at least she's doing something about it. I know from the community other MPs are not helping.

    Take care everyone 
    Bev x
  • MisscleoMisscleo Posts: 580Member Pioneering
    Who is your mp.
    I wish he'd speak to mine.
    We need help with these hard face people who.like to see disabled people be upset.
    I'm too ill to fight them.  Arthritis. Bad heart. Liver problems. Fibromyalgia. And the rest. Just want to sleep. Pain keeps me awake. Can't win 
  • bevt2017bevt2017 Posts: 353Member Pioneering
    Hi @Misscleo

    I think it's disgusting your MP not helping you, it's there job.

    I've sent my MP everything! including my assessment, my reply and complaint and the appology letter I got from IAS.

    I told her I had an interview not long ago. 2 men from the job centre were interviewing disabled people, on how DWP and ESA can change there treatment of disabled people. (The community was helping me). But I don't even know if it's for everyone or just in my area?

    I don't know what to say? I don't know anything about politics? But I do know how to complain.
    If it was me, I would keep sending letters and emails until someone listened.

    It scares me knowing I will have to go through all this again with DWP. I just hope that they start to listen and this process changed for everyone. X
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