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Disabled and depressed and want to talk to others who wont judge

WestonturnerWestonturner Posts: 11Member Whisperer
edited March 2018 in Disabled parents
Hi everyone, I'm Steve from Shropshire 

Replies

  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 6,791Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @Westonturner
    Welcome to the community :) Do you want to tell us a bit about yourself?
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • WestonturnerWestonturner Posts: 11Member Whisperer
    Im 53 married with a 11yr old lad who are both my rocks. I am disabled with spinal stenosis and have 3 areas where my spine is not working as it should. I have been off work for 5 years where I use to have 2 businesses and a pt job. As a hobby to lift me out of clinical depression I started wood turning a year ago. I am always in pain and am now at the stage with pain and depression I can do nothing after half hour. My 11yr old although very helpful complains constantly I can' do physical things like sport or walking with him. I am now at my wits end, I cry non stop and just so need someone to just chat things over that are not judging me.
  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 6,791Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @Westonturner
    Thanks for sharing, Im sorry to hear things are so difficult for you right now, the community is a really supportive and friendly place and I hope you will find it a comfort.

    I LOVE wood turning (watching and the end products, not doing it myself!!) Its such a beautiful art, though I understand it must be difficult for you to do for long periods.

    I think it can be really hard for children to come to terms with some of the limitations they see when they have a disabled parent and that can be hard for us to deal with.  Have you thought about your son getting involved in any young carers groups? This may help him to speak to other young people in a similar situation.

    Are you getting treatment for your depression? Through medication or talking therapies? There is some great support and information through the MIND website that might help too.


    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • JennysDadJennysDad Posts: 2,308Member, Community champion Chatterbox
    Hello Steve, @Westonturner, and a warm welcome to the community. Very glad to have you with us.
    I love the beard (have only a sort of goatee and 'tache myself :smile:) and that's a very bonny lad you've got with you in the picture. I do admire wood-turning. Years ago I bought myself a black-and-decker lathe affair that was supposed to run off a powerdrill, together with some basic shaping tools, but somehow never found the time and opportunity to get into it. Wish I could have.
    If you are producing work in the short periods you're able to tackle it, perhaps you could post a picture or two for us in KaleidoScope, our online gallery? I'm sure there are many who would love to see it (though Kaleidoscope is new yet) and the link is here https://community.scope.org.uk/discussion/41283/kaleidoscope-our-own-gallery-for-members-art-work-crafts-and-photographs#latest
    This is the link to our 'Mental health issues' forum, in case you want to have a look and see if there's anything in there that might help (at the very least it will give you the names of some other members for whom depression is a major issue) http://https//community.scope.org.uk/categories/mental-health-issues  and next I'll put in a link to the 'Dealing with chronic pain' forum, here,https://community.scope.org.uk/categories/chronicpain
    Retired, now, aged 66, depression has been an enemy of mine since my childhood. My GP, several years ago, found a psychotropic medication for me that did and continues to make a difference. But it also helps to share, and if I can share, listen, chat, I'm here.
    You might be interested in a post by @Sam_Scope on young carers https://community.scope.org.uk/discussion/37282/when-your-children-are-young-carers#latest  One of the things reflected there and which I have seen frequently in my own experience (mostly kids caring for siblings) is that it seems to produce very fine people.
    What are your son's interests, can I ask? I don't know that we've got a young carers place here - for youngsters to chat with each other - but perhaps it's something that could be considered? And certainly if there is anything I can do or say to help your young man with how he's feeling I shall be here and listening.
    You're among friends here.
    Warmest best wishes to you, your good lady and your son,
    Richard

  • WestonturnerWestonturner Posts: 11Member Whisperer
    Hi @JennysDad many many thanks for your chat it was good to hear about the links and I will certainly check them out. I have joined this forum hopefully knowing I can speak to the likes of you and others and help me through this very dark time. I am not too clever with these forums but hopefully over time I will soon  get use to it.
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 4,206Member, Community champion Brian Blessed
    Hi Steve and welcome

    We are all here to help if we can, have a rant if you want, nobody is going to judge you.
    You will soon get used to forum stuff, just join in, we don't bite

    CR 
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • JennysDadJennysDad Posts: 2,308Member, Community champion Chatterbox
    Hi Steve,
    I'm here.
    Best to you,
    Richard
  • maid08maid08 Posts: 307Member, Member - under moderation Chatterbox
    plenty of us here to chat  including single fathers  as they say in life its god to talkk
  • WestonturnerWestonturner Posts: 11Member Whisperer
    Well lying here at 1.15am as usual no sleep coming this way. Is there individual chats on here also anyone in Shropshire area 
  • BarbiesnemesisBarbiesnemesis Posts: 86Member Chatterbox
    One of the things I'm trying to learn myself is pacing. It's really difficult when you're doing something you enjoy and don't want to stop because of the pain, I think. I tend to feel deprived, angry, and frustrated. This then makes my depressive feelings much worse. Lately though I have planned the time I can work on a project, say 20 to 30 minutes, and then I rest. If I can do another stint on my hobby that day I do it. If not I wait until the following day. Its a work in progress and I still get pissed off sometimes but my feelings towards my limitations are improving. I hope that makes some sense. By the way I'm trying to make a bookcase at the moment : )
    One other thing I thought of have you tried hiring a mobility scooter to go on walks with your son - there are places that will tell you if its 'scooter' friendly.
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 5,239Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @Westonturner, you can privately message other community members by clicking the small purple inbox symbol (displayed as one of the icons under your profile) on the top right hand side of the page. Just let me know if you'd like any assistance with this!
  • WestonturnerWestonturner Posts: 11Member Whisperer
    @Barbiesnemesis many thanks for that I know what you mean with time management. I lose my rag a it if I have carried on  woodturning when I'm tired. I have a scooter and we do go out in the summer but way too cold for me at the moment.
  • JennysDadJennysDad Posts: 2,308Member, Community champion Chatterbox
    Hi Steve, @Westonturner

    Just came across your post again and wonder how you're getting on?
    Very best wishes to you,
    Richard
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