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Compliance letter/ Telephone Interview

[Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
edited March 2018 in Mental health issues
Hi I’m worried and very upset, I suffer from mental  health  issues ptsd/ ocd/  anxiety/  fear of going out/  Learning difficulties, my son also  suffers with some of these issues, it’s all due to my ex husband that treated us very very badly his now in  prison for murder,  we have moved to hide away from him when he comes out, my son lives with  his girlfriend, but he is here with me a lot  because I can’t cope very well, that  causes a lot of problems between him and his girlfriend also his own  mental health issues don’t help, ok I’ve always let my son use my address as a mailing address and things have always been fine, he works and stated  applying for a new job this job entailed screening process I think this is where the trouble has started ,  I got a letter from the council tax people asking why his name flagged up on their system I told them he’s been using my address as a mailing address and been applying for jobs from this address,  I gave the lady his address and she said everything would be fine then a week later I got a letter in from the DWP about a Telephone interview for 2 weeks time and I’m  really worried why would the Lady from the council tax say oh that’s okay and make me feel everything was fine and then I get this letter ? I have tried to phone the number I’ve left a message and nobody’s got back to me I can’t sleep my anxiety is through the roof, can anyone help  shed some light on this for me ? Thank you 

Replies

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    First of all, deep breath and don’t worry. DWP do compliance checks from time to time. They’re part of the fraud and error team. They’ll either see you at home, at your local JC or via telephone. I assume you claim as a single person and its been brought to their attention that you don’t (probably as your son uses your postal address and it’s flagged up somewhere) or you’ve been maliciously reported as in your son lives with you. They’ll go through your circumstances and you can explain everything to them. Be honest and everything will be fine. They’re not out to get you but just following a line of enquiry that’s been brought to their attention. 
    I hope this helps. And please don’t worry. 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
     Hi there thank you I can’t help but worry because I have severe anxiety,  my son doesn’t live with me but we are very very close because of what we’ve been through with his Dad,  I see my son every day he comes round brings food we have dinner here sometime stay over if I’m not well, I don’t have a very good memory that’s all part of my illness, and I’ve just never taken any notice of him using my address as a  postal address because I just didn’t think, why do they make you wait 2 weeks before they ring you? 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I fully understand the anxiety and over thinking. I’m currently in the same position worrying about my DLA uprating letter that DWP say was posted on 2nd March but i still haven’t got it and worrying that’ll mean a PIP invitation is on its way. We stress so much about the smallest things don’t we? 
    I’ve had dealings with compliance in the past and they’re so nice. They don’t grill you, or make you feel bad. Sounds like yours is just a genuine mistake that’ll soon be cleared up after they ring you. Do let me know how you get on.  
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Ok thank you I will, and I hope you get on ok as well,
    thanks Sandy 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Best of luck. I hope this has made you feel a bit better. 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Hi just  slightly, have a nice weekend,
    Sandy 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    And you Sandy. It’ll be fine.  :):)<3
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I’ve just got a letter from the Council tax people now asking if anyone else is living here l already told her the  whole story over the phone, so I’ve got the  Single persons discount but have to Sign this declaration saying I’m the only one here who is over 18, I’m so fed up with this my  anxiety has gone right up again
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Yes that’s normal. Honestly don’t worry. 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Thanks but I really am getting worried like my mental health can’t take stress 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    They will have to get you to sign the form so it can go on your claim. They can’t just go by verbal confirmation. 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Oh ok, but I  signed a form about 8 weeks ago about this, but this was before my Son started  applying for this new job with the screening process, 
    l just can’t cope with Gray  areas  I like to get stuff sorted Straight away that’s why I try to ring the compliance officer but Got no answer
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Oh bless you. When are they ringing you? 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    The 27th of this Month it’s 2 weeks away, it’s not fair, 
    they give you a phone number to ring you ring it 3 times No answer
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Oh that’s a long wait isn’t it? :( bless you. I’m sure it’ll all work out 
  • JB123JB123 Posts: 2Member Listener
    Same with me put in for Dal for my daughter who has a learning difficulty which she received now and just got awarded with careers allowance but not being paid until April but than received a letter from local compliance office for  a telephone interview since the 4th of march and interview is the 4th of April it really worried u though I have not dont anything that I am aware of call their number and it only says wont be available until 3rd April, can't wait to hear what it's all about
  • JB123JB123 Posts: 2Member Listener
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    Hi 
    what’s the point in having a number for you to call if there’s no one there!!
    is there no other way to contact them, maybe on the back of the letter, contact details?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I’m here waiting for my phone interview now haven’t slept all night, it’s not very nice getting that letter is it ? I suffer with mental health issues and this is doing me  no good at all, I hope your phone interview goes ok 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I also phoned them and they wouldn’t talk to me about anything until today they wouldn’t bring the phone interview forward as they said the interviews are Scheduled three weeks in advance
  • Norton2018Norton2018 Posts: 21Member Connected
    Aww bless.. I am going through about the same.. With PIP.. Suffered severe depression since my mum died just after I give birth.. Went on till 7 yrs ago when my dad took his own life..
    I was born disabled called Poland Syndrome.. RARE condition also osteoarthritis and Piriformis syndrome all chronic... 
    Yet 3 years ago.. I got DLA HIGHER RAt for indefinitely . now I am 10 times worse can barely walk. Anxiety thru roof.. Depressing and mood swings..and my interview error was a exnurse.. Very rude.. Humiliated.. I felt.. Also like a piece of muck...I so hope you get it sorted.. These folk know NOTHING ABOUT ANXIETY. SLEEPLESS NIGHTS.. DEPRESSION AND MOOD SWINGS made worse by their ridiculous TIME WAITING STUFF.. 
    Am putting a complaint into ATOS.. Who supply's decision makers etc... Not that I'll be heard...  


  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I’m really sorry to hear you are going through that, I think mine is about my son useing my address as a postal address, he has applied for a new job that has a screening Process, 
    because I had a  nervous breakdown  in 2008 he helps me out with stuff a lot as I find life hard to manage, he comes and cooks for me because I forget stuff
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I’ve never had one of these phone interviews before and I’ve never heard of them till I got this letter 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    @Norton2018, @Sandy Devon,
    i hope you both get things sorted out, it’s had enough, daily, without this added stress and anxiety 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Hope the interview goes okay for you. Keep us updated :) 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Well someone reported me for living with someone that person was a friend and did some painting for stayed over a few times but we were not in a relationship, he lived at his Mums
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    But I’m now worried because he hasn’t said the case is Closed, 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    @Sandy Devon,
    why do people stick their nose in things when the “think” they know stuff but clearly not the truth or whole story.
    I do hope it’s over for you. Can you not contact them to ask about closing the case
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    All he said was if you don’t hear from us then you know everything is ok 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    @Sandy Devon,

    but how how long do you wait to “hear”,

    thats actually not not telling you anything and the worry!

    i would leave it a few days then contact them to ask the question, if it was me
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I will, someone came to see me about 3 years ago with the same allegation but told him the same as I told this Guy, but he was very different with me a lot Nicer and just said yes I’m happy with that and said I’m going to close this case, but the Guy that phoned me today was asking a lot more questions and reading me statements. 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    Statements!

    all you can do is tell the truth and hope they listen.

    i would however wonder, who is reporting you repeatedly?

    still I would contact them in a few days, just so you know what the process is, the not knowing is worse than not
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Yes I will do, they are very black and white, they got the surname wrong of the person they said lived here, I then said I think l know who you are  referring to and I have the  correct surname  and told them I’ve were just friends and he had stayed over a few times as he was doing painting for me and lived quite a way from here, I did see him a lot as we become good friends but we fell out about 8  months ago because he always wanted a relationship with me and I wasn’t interested, 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    Could it be him that’s doing this.
    i have either my son or a friend, who is male, stay over at mine at least half the week for various reasons.
    the DWP are aware of this as I asked my friend to let them know, i was paranoid.
    the fact they don’t have all the true facts, the surname, would suggest they don’t know the truth
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    No I phoned him to tell him and he said no it wasn’t and l believed him his not a  i vindictive person, and the guy getting the last name wrong had the first 3  letters right and there’s only 5 in the name l think it  was a ploy to see if l would give the correct name,  i’m in iPhone queue waiting to speak to citizens advice bureau, 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    Good,
    getting CAB advice is a good idea.

    i do hope you sort this out soon 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    Let me know how thing get on and try and not worry too much, I know you probably will but please try  :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Thanks I will do
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I’ve just come off the phone with  citizens advice bureau and they said he is still  investigating me  Looking at the Evidence and statements I gave him, they can’t do anything till the DWP tell me what’s going on, I just want to hang my self I’m done I can’t take the the  strain and anxiety, the man had me all confused I couldn’t remember dates and stuff it’s all part of what happened to me when I had my brake down 
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 5,856Member Disability Gamechanger
    So sorry to hear about your situation, @Sandy_Devon.

    If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]. You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself. If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

    I can imagine it feels really overwhelming right now, but you've done the right thing by contacting CAB, and they will do their best to support you. I'm also tagging in @mikehughescq in case there's anything he can add.  

    Please do keep us updated and look after yourself: we'll all do our best to support you too. 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    @Sandy Devon

    please please don’t do anything except call your gp or a mental heath help line.

    call scopes helpline but you need to talk this through with a health care professional.

    your done a positive thing by calling CAB, 
    it maybe all concluded in a few days.

    your not alone, you have us.

    i cannot remember things either very well, it’s because your body goes into “fight or flight” mode. So your body is limiting your brains capacity.

    my psychologist told me that.

    please get some help now
  • SandycfedupSandycfedup Posts: 15Member Connected
    I am ABSOLUTELY GO SMACKED... just found out that not getting PIP MOBILITY JUST HELP ASPECT... £83.00 A week to live on TAKING CAR AWAY. . my rent is £400 a month but I only pay £65 towards it... Minus taxis.. As cannot walk.. Elec.. Gas.. TV.. Phone.. Food.. Pay dog walker.. Be left with £3.20/4.00  week for clothes.. Repaying bond I borrowed as only moved here in November. . I am in floods of tears.. That's HALF OF what I got on dla.. Esa..us no car... OMG... Suicidal... 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    @Sandycfedup,
    you can ask for this to be looked at again.
    did you have a f2f assessment?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Sorry to hear that Sandycfedup, no
    on the phone interview today 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 6,005Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Sandy Devon   Pleased to meet you.  Just a gentleman sending a message of support.

    I know life is so hard and not easy.

    I can understand you situation.

    For the last twenty years or more every two years or even less. I get used to a phone call.  Fridays asking about my personal circumstances.  Used to say we think you do not qualify for award.

    What the hell I went through.  Signing on and off.  Appeals and all the assessments.  One school of assessors saying fit next 18 months unfit.

    Then around again. again fit or unfit.  Some times money would not come for a month, so when I joined mental health charity.

    Support worker sent letter to DWP why are you doing this every 18 months so.  Because he is sick and ill.  He has tried to get work and he is making himself ill in the process. Done loads of qualifications.  The employment opportunities zero.

    Now on ESA support group.  Lot older and wiser.

    I am sorry what has happened.  I wonder if it is possible to get some support.  Whether from a welfare charity or if you wish to speak to some one from a mental health charity.

    I have self referred myself to a few in my life time.

    It is very helpful to have a support worker to assist you with anything mental health.  Also have some one in your corner to fight for your rights and also to be there for you.

    Hope you can get help and support.  It is there in the community if you wish to do that.

    I do know it helped me immensely, even though am still not good some days.

    Take care lovely to meet you

    The Spiceman 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    The spaceman thank you so much I’m don’t know how to get a support worker,
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 6,005Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Sandy Devon   Thank you for reply.  I will give you much information as I can..

    Understand the issues, so if you look on the web for local services from where you live.  You can self refer.  Which means you go and apply yourself what you need and want from them.

    Also go to your GP surgery speak to your Doctor.  Who will speak to about options available to you.  Lots of mental health charities out there but you want the correct and right support.

    You will be assessed by the charity how they can help yo and get the right support.  That is important. 

    Please can I add it is a good idea as I said to have one.  A mental health charity for other reasons as well.  These include your well being and fitness looking also how you can benefit some goals and aims.

    Make you understand your self, the condition you have.

    You must also be aware of the system that you are involved if you enrol.  They will help you if you help yourself.  I know it is not easy for me to say that but the mental health system is there to support you and it does help having some one to assist you. 

    Please can I tell you they often give you time limits for being a client.  I am in one for three years.  Then told I am OK.  Even if I am probably not.  I am better but they have to do this because of numbers you must understand that.

    Also be aware the system is overloaded and over burdened and cuts , budgets are slashed.  You must understand this.  Hence if you apply you could wait some time.  I am not being negative here you are talking to a gentleman who is telling you the truth.

    Hope any of this helps.

    Contact SCOPE they can advise as well.

    Best wishes

    The spiceman

  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 6,005Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Sandycfedup Pleased to meet you.  Please can I ask who is supporting you?

    Are you getting any help with this.?

    I do know the problems and understand the issues, please understand trying to help.

    Is it possible to speak to some one, welfare rights CAB or asking here a support worker might be a solution.

    My worry is that this is not right and you need speak to some one who can help.

    Ask SCOPE advisors.

    Am here to listen.

    Hope you take care

    The Spiceman
  • SandycfedupSandycfedup Posts: 15Member Connected
    Hi and thanks .. I have spoken to rethink to get an advocate but told to get a tribunal it could take 6/12 months...!!!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    That’s a long time it’s just terrible play with peoples life’s 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    @Sandy Devon
    hi I hope your feeling a little, was going to say better but not the right word, less anxious 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I’ve go the  crisis team phoning me back as I feel very  vulnerable  l can’t cope with life at the best of times 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    No I’m feeling worse as the day has gone on my head is working over time I can’t stop crying, I’m just not feeling well at all my head has gone 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    That’s good, I’m glad you called someone, I know it’s really hard but you’v done good calling.
    Please keep me posted as to how you are 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Thanks hope you get on ok as well, 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I’ve just come off the phone with the  crisis Team and I feel worse no help at all just told me to relax and have a sandwich, There are to many people with mental health issues they don’t have the time, l was on the phone with her for 5 minutes, Im so done with this **** life 
  • frecklesfreckles Posts: 258Member Pioneering
    I had a CC about a year ago some horrible nasty neighbour said i had money in my account i had to take recent bank statements in to which showed i had nothing in my bank account this satisfied the interviewer but she said this would be kept on record for 18 months if you have nothing to hide like me then it will be fine
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I know but when you have mental health problems it’s not that simple, the Man in question was a friend and he was here a lot helping me out doing odd jobs painting he would cook a meal for me, he wanted a relationship with me but I wasn’t interested he lived with his Mum had all his mail at his Mums, he sometimes stayed over in the  spare room because he lived quiet far from here, and I think that’s what someone has seen, l fell out with him about 8months ago and I’ve not seen him since I gave the  compliance officer  his address 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    @Sandy Devon
    call scopes helpline to chat to someone, or go to a&e. My doctor told me to either call breathing space or nhs 24 or go to a&e.
    please do one of them 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Ive done talking l will see how I feel tomorrow and take it from there my head is all over the place and I’ve got such a headache I’m  aching all over  I’ve not stopped crying 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    Ok,
    maybe a warm bath and sleep if you can 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    Please take care 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Thank you I haven’t slept in weeks just a hour here and there, thanks for your help 
  • dee4848dee4848 Posts: 215Member Pioneering
    edited March 2018
    This is by no means the DWP's fault they have job to do and if someody is telling what ever tail about you they have to investigate it'. The person that rang or wrote to the DWP that is'  the person making you feel the way you feel .
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    I’m the same, my doctor gave me sleeping tablets, maybe go see doctor this week
  • SandycfedupSandycfedup Posts: 15Member Connected
    susan48 said:
    @Sandycfedup,
    you can ask for this to be looked at again.
    did you have a f2f assessment?
    Hi.. Yes... She was awful.. Rude and pretty nasty.. Got her name and I'd number so.. Autos complaint going in..... 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    susan48 said:
    @Sandycfedup,
    you can ask for this to be looked at again.
    did you have a f2f assessment?
    Hi.. Yes... She was awful.. Rude and pretty nasty.. Got her name and I'd number so.. Autos complaint going in..... 
    Maybe speak to CAB about your options.
    and yes they have a “job” to do but there is no reason for an assessor to be rude or nasty. They don’t know you so shouldn’t judge anyone 
  • reeniereenie Posts: 16Member Connected
    I can completely understand your stress. I have ptsd and anxiety. My son and I had to have the police help us move hundreds of miles away to escape from his violent father. And even though we physically were free from him 14 yrs ago I still have major emotional problems. Reading your posts is like reading how I cope when facing similar situations. The panic and stress cause physical symptoms. The nights are horrendous and I end up so on edge I don't want to open any post or answer a phone number I don't recognise. Then whilst feeling like that you have to defend yourself to a stranger. I don't know if you are like me but I try my hardest to forget the past so when I have to explain my health issues physical and mental and the causes it brings up all these feelings off just wanting to run away screaming and crying "why can't the past let me go". Big hugs and know you are not alone x
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Posts: 3,579Member - under moderation Disability Gamechanger
    Late to the party but here goes. This doesn’t strike me as a report from an anonymous person at all. Council Tax have noted something down from you but then any sane auditor would look at it and go check it out. CT will then put it on their online system and DWP will pick it up. Who then checks it out often comes down to who has the most resources available at the time. The reason there’s a delay is unsurprisingly because 

    a) checking out changes of circumstances is time-consuming and frequent, and,

    b) both organisations have been starved of the money to do regular home visits etc.

    The reason you may feel you were led to believe everything was okay was most likely because you spoke to your local councils call centre rather than somebody in CT and, as I keep banging on in other threads, if decision makers keep getting asked to answer the phone they don’t get to make as many decisions. You spoke to someone tasked with noting down what you said and nothing more. What happens next is out of their hands.

    If the circumstances are as you describe then you ought to be okay. However, if, for example, your son uses his old bedroom; keeps possessions at your home etc. then that’s the start of a case for saying he lives there and should be treated as a non-dependent. If you don’t want this problem then don’t let him use your postal address and invite him to remove his remaining possessions. If all he does is the occasional overnight stay then he can bring an overnight bag. Anything else and you’re potentially inviting repeat problems.

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Hi I’m sorry to hear about your past and that you went through that, well it sound similar I’m in hiding from my ex husband I nearly killed me, but his in  prison at the moment for killing someone else, I don’t want a relationship ever again and to be told that they think I’m living with someone well it’s really upset me, so if you’re on benefits you can’t have even a friend, I even messed up the friendship as I don’t trust anyone, I have bad  anxiety panic attacks  PTSD OCD to name just a few I keep thinking my ex husband is watching me, I just can’t go on anymore I’m tired I will find a way to go to sleep and never wake up, take care 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Mikehughescq my son has changed his address now and he never had stuff here it was just a mailing address, that’s not the  issue anymore look at my other posts,  apparently I’ve been living with somebody  I have  serious OCD  I can’t live with anyone, thanks for taking the time to message,
    im not well can’t do this anymore 
  • dee4848dee4848 Posts: 215Member Pioneering
    edited March 2018
    Well if you are not living with anyone don' be worrying about it .They will have to prove  this so if your not you can prove it too 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Easy to say when someone has  anxiety please leave me alone if you don’t understand please you’re message is cold and I can’t deal with it dee4848 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    @Sandy Devon
    i hope you manage to get some rest tonight and see how you are tomorrow, maybe try and see your doctor. Do you have a mental health professional you see?

  • dee4848dee4848 Posts: 215Member Pioneering
    Well actually my son hung  himsef aged 22 and your post are seriouly depressing me going on about your mental health my advise is seek it  and get urgent help,...and I don't see how my comment is cold ..it simply says if you havet' done anything wrong don' be worrying.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I’m sorry about your son I really am, please forgive me I’m not well sorry l can’t help the way I’m coming over I’ve always  worried I  worry when there’s nothing to worry about, once again I’m sorry but I’m not well, Night night 
  • dee4848dee4848 Posts: 215Member Pioneering
    edited March 2018
    Sandy Devon No need to appoligise yes sometimes my comments are read the wrong way ..but seriouly believe me I know I was close to death myself but unfortunatey for me I'm still here but I'm glad I am because it' your family that suffer.and I'm sorry too .night hope you sleep well .
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    I know  you’re right about family and my son would be devastated, but I have felt like this for to long now and this was just the  last straw 
    ive not been the same person I was before I met my ex husband he broke me and I just don’t have the  Energy any more I’m tired , sorry to be so  depressing I’ve been on to the  crisis Team tonight and they was no help, it’s not just the telephone interview it’s so
    much more, I know people like me with  depression are very selfish, once again sorry and night night 
  • dee4848dee4848 Posts: 215Member Pioneering
    I do understand I suffer with it myself not a nice thing in act 3 people in my family have took ther own lives it does run in my family, and yes your Son would be devasted just go to your doctors tomorrow talk with him and go from there  Goodnight sweet dreams.
  • whistleswhistles Posts: 1,603Member Disability Gamechanger
    edited March 2018
    @Sandy Devon

    The solution to the problem is for your son to use his own address as the mailing address.
    That removes that grey area and stops it being flag popped.
    One thing you can do to help things in the future.

    You are permitted to have someone stay as a carer I believe twice a week? Do you get DLA Middle/ high care or pip care? 
    I think we had a poster saying that she couldn't live with her boyfriend even though he was a carer.
    We know that you are saying you need help and someone stays but maybe the dwp need you to be more clear or have it in writing that you receive help on xx days. 
    Your son need to help you xx days per week.
    Do not follow me, I don't know where I am going.
  • whistleswhistles Posts: 1,603Member Disability Gamechanger
    edited March 2018
    As for the mental health side of things. You could try to be proactive.

    Write down what is bothering you.
    Decide who you need to go and see, GP or cpn. Take the bullet point notes with you- or cheat and post them like I did.  :)
    Are you on the right medication, are they causing you side effects. Are you remembering to take them.
    What help do you need. 

    The fact you recognise you are stressed and recognise things are slipping suggests to me you are aware of your feelings.
    I do allow myself to ' flap like a chicken' sometimes because not all stress is bad and I learn to feel, deal and move it along. 




    Do not follow me, I don't know where I am going.
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 5,856Member Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Sandy Devon, how are you this morning? I'm glad to see that our community members have been supporting you.

    If you feel up to it, I wondered whether you might like to give the Scope helpline a call about your situation? Their number is 0808 800 3333 (free)- they receive a lot of calls, but if somebody can't speak to you immediately then we can make other arrangements. Alternatively, these NHS mental health helplines may also be something you like to consider.

    Do let us know how you're getting on, and I hope today is as kind as possible to you. 
  • frecklesfreckles Posts: 258Member Pioneering
    Hi can anyone tell me who i ring to see how my mandontory reconsideration letter is going do i ring capita or the dwp thanks
  • reeniereenie Posts: 16Member Connected
    I saw my gp yesterday and forced myself to tell her how I was really feeling. And I felt embarrassed and ashamed and guilty but ultimately I know only me can help me feel better. I dont deserve to feel this crap emotinally all the time. I do deserve to give myself a break. I learnt this in previous therapy for my past. Only now I'm disabled I can't do the things I use to do to burn off the desire to end my life. So I have told my gp I need help excepting my situation. I admitted thoughts an d feelings I didn't want to but she wrote a lovely letter to my local mental health team and asked for their contact with me to be urgent. 
    I'm hoping you are feeling more able to cope today.
    Hugs x 
  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    @reenie
    im glad you’v been open with your doctor. That’s sometimes the problem, not opening up to someone and your doctor will help.

    just hope you hear from the mental health team soon x
  • reeniereenie Posts: 16Member Connected
  • sandyp196sandyp196 Posts: 132Member Pioneering
    Aren't you allowed to have people staying with you now? Surely you are. I get carers allowance and I was rehoused by the council with an extra bedroom for a carer.  My daughter and grandson stay with me 3 or 4 nights a weeK because that's why I was given the allowance and the bedroom.  My daughter has her own house but often uses my address because people are more likely to find her here than her own house. 
    The dwp are aware of this. I can't understand why people are really now getting in trouble for having help. I'm worried about this now. I thought the dwp would have more of an issue if my extra bedroom was UNUSED! 

  • susan48susan48 Posts: 2,227Member Disability Gamechanger
    @sandyp196,
    i also have my son or a friend stay to help me, the DWP are aware.
    As long as you’v told them , as far as I concerned, it’s not your problem.
    Youv told them so you’v kept yourself right.
    Im not worrying about it, too much other stuff to worry about and I don’t actually care anymore x


  • whistleswhistles Posts: 1,603Member Disability Gamechanger
    The bedroom tax comes into effect when everyone changes to UC.
    Another nightmare!
    Do not follow me, I don't know where I am going.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
     Compliance telephone interview, just a update on the out come, after weeks of worrying l  decided to telephone the  compliance officer to find out what was happening with my case because it was driving me mad not knowing, as you only get a letter if you’re going to be Prosecuted, so l phoned yesterday and he said the case has been closed because there was  no change to your  circumstances, so I waited 3 weeks to hear that when he could of told me at the end of the Telephone interview, 
    but it’s all over now I have to say  it’s been the most  awful stressful 3weeks of my life, 
    good luck to anyone else with one of these Telephone interviews, don’t sit there and worry afterwards just phone back to find out how it went for your peace of mind, thank you to everyone on here who tried to help me
    l was in a real state, l have a mental health assessor coming out tomorrow to get me back on track because I discharged  myself  2 years ago thinking l could cope well it’s quite  obvious I can’t because of all the things l was saying when l had this interview coming up and after the interview as well, 
    take care all Sandy 
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Posts: 3,579Member - under moderation Disability Gamechanger
    whistles said:
    The bedroom tax comes into effect when everyone changes to UC.
    Another nightmare!
    Eh?
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