Reasons to be cheerful
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ANNIVERSARY

thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
Hello every body good afternoon I hope you are all keeping safe and warm.

Today is the eleventh anniversary of me giving up Alcohol.  This day I stopped completely and never ever I thought I would succeed .

Being an Alcoholic is the hardest thing and suffer trauma because of it, still mentally deep scars.

Why say about being clean and not having a drink.  I wanted to share but also I recognise my brothers and sisters who are suffering have an addiction history.

The bigger picture is the giving up being acutely aware of how alcohol is harming your health.  Trying to do something about it.

I always do understand those who do wish to have a drink but perhaps do not recognise the issues especially the social and health ones.  Lot of it is education.

I relapsed about two times maybe more if I can recall.  Over a thirty years period.  Had failed relationships some abusive some violent not me but the women who I loved.

Had to leave those with ripped hearts much guilty feeling and emotions as one of those relationships.  Need to go because she went back drinking relapsed.  Due to a friend getting her drunk.  Her child in care me supporting her.  Social Services happy to see her going the right way  All smashed to smithereens because of alcohol.

I was clean what choice I had to do.  Understand this living with an alcoholic really hard especially as both of us getting treatment.  She relapsed , I had to leave.   Moved away to where I am now This is the real story of addiction.

That is the honest truth painful for all to see.  Just need to say.

I feel for all those in abusive violent relationships caused by addiction.  I am here and hope you will understand say a prayer for you all.

I also say to all those who like a drink be careful and be aware of what you are doing.  I am a caring person.  Sometimes speaking about addiction especially Alcohol every one has a limit.

Recognise if wish to get help ask for it.  Try to consult your GP if you are worried.  Understand this another alcoholic rarely helps another.  Because they could get caught into the web and can get into the trap of drinking again.  Seen that happen.  Specialist people are needed.  AA does not work in my opinion having tried it.

One of the problems with addiction is it is being slowly eroded by funding.  Any treatment.  I know eleven years ago waited over 3 months appointment rehab clinic.  Then another 6 months CPN and then onwards to other programmes called ARP .  Alcohol Rolling Programme.  Means they see why you drink, how to cope and be useful advice and support.

Course started in March ran out of money.  New course by September means some of my associates in rehab relapsed or worse died.

What was worse for me left clinic at the time with a number and no other support.  Tried various aftercare groups all still drinking not clean like me.

Used mental health charities on and off, due to anxiety and depression.

This happening now long term alcohol abuse major problem in our country.  NHS over burdened and over stretched.

In my own life time so far seen youngest alcoholic ten years old.  Oldest the biggest worry for all of us in my addiction community.  A sixty plus guy who was blind drinking and still doing it.  At the time.  His wife screaming at him because he did not wish to have treatment.

That is the problem at the minute the amount of people who are alcoholics over sixty.

So I do hope bring cheer to those who are successful in their quest to give up.

I send a prayer and give support to those the best I can.
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Replies

  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Community champion Posts: 5,257 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you for sharing spiceman and congratulation on a great achievement

    CR
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello my friend @Cockney Rebel tried not make it warts and all.  Do not wish to have a rubber stamp with letter x over my post.

    Being honest and open.  Hoping others to follow me if not am here to give support

    Thank you

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  • whistleswhistles Member Posts: 1,603 Disability Gamechanger
    Well done in getting clean. 

    Without meaning to pry, did they think your addiction was because you had that type of personality and if it wasn't drink it would be something else? 
    People get addicted to all sorts of things that are out there, gambling being another. 
    Ignore me if you want, just interested and thank you for sharing with us. 

    Do not follow me, I don't know where I am going.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,756 Listener
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  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @whistles thank you for reply.  I am not the sort to ignore people.  Please ask me anything you wish.  I do not know whom I am speaking to a lady or a gent.  This is the big issues any body can be addicted to anything.

    One thing you learn by joining support groups whose main clientele are having mental health .  Addiction lies in the back ground as a root of the problems they have.

    I can think of about ten or more addictions.

    These include shopping, clothes, food, electrical items, catalogues.
    Gambling stratch  cards bingo, lottery horses, greyhounds, betting
    Sex, drugs, alcohol,cigarettes
    Gyms health related diets.
    OCD disorders being clean and hygiene.
    Death related going to funerals.
    Hoarding

    Yes would you call them a personality issue.  I do not think so.  I think my opinion here it starts with something small or from an idealistic lifestyle or background.

    With alcohol I come from a middle class back ground.  In the days when this is true meals were dinner and going out.  You dress for dinner tie and suit ladies dress.

    Started for me about fifteen and a maybe around that time have a cocktail.

    Alcohol served at evening meals, those were the days of when if you went out to a club.  Not like to today do not exsist but then.

    The Northern Soul Scene had clubs like lounge chairs good bars upstairs seating and entertainment.  Down stairs food and more bars.

    Those days the men were men so having a drink my choice Vodka with Orange juice or Southern Comfort Lemonade.

    I did not know I had a drink issue till my mid twenties, can not stop.

    That is the big big problem stopping safely and doing it right.  Took me 18 months of Rehab where they give you limits and you have to stick to them.  Remember I am not here to preach just educate.

    I was on three bottles a wine a day or sometimes a big bottle of Vodka.  Body gets used to this you see, builds up tolerance.  Then if you stop body goes in shock, needs a drink.  That is why binge drinking the worse of the lot.  Because if you binge drink then stop body can shock it self in to trauma.

    Just a warning know that one, I am acutely aware of AA stance on alcohol and not agree with it at all.

    Please any body ask me anything.  This was a reason to celebrate.  I wanted to share but am well educated and have good knowledge to answer any questions.  Remember still have cravings all of us do.
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  • MarkinsuttonMarkinsutton Member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    I think I swapped alcohol addiction for prescribed medication addiction. 

    2 words I get confused by is addiction or dependance. I know I can't drink now as it really does mess me up with tablets I am on. I was always the life of the party when I could drink, the only person I think it harmed was me as I know just how bad drinking was for my health but then most alcoholics would say that.

    I have spoken to my doctor about drug addiction and she thinks I am not and there is a big difference between addiction and dependancy. I do question is it the pain levels I can't manage or the withdrawal of the codeine. I miss being able to drink and can go a whole day without taking pain relief if I keep myself busy so I don't know. 

    I wanted to reply to say I understand your post as have seen the same with others in my family and friends lives that have been torn apart by drink and well done for 11 years. it shows strength and character  
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Markinsutton   Thank you for comments and words.  This is the another issue what is dependency and addiction.. What do you think?

    Are they intwined as one or separate, this the question.  I am acutely aware of the differences yet some people say the same.  What do you consider a dependency.?

    Understand this the issues of alcohol and drugs are closer than you think.  People drink or take drugs to forget pain.  Heal and manage pain some do this.

    Understand this this is a debate that has gone on for countless years and you know yourself what the tolerance levels to which you can be tuned to.

    I hope to wish you well my friend but consider your own health needs, if you think you have a issue talk and try to get some help. 

    Take care 
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  • whistleswhistles Member Posts: 1,603 Disability Gamechanger
    Is dependency and addiction the same? 

    If you are addicted you can't go a day without that thing.
    Isn't being dependant on the same? Can't live without?

    Smoking, it's a craving or blocking of the withdrawal? I don't smoke. So I don't feel whatever people feel when they try and stop.

    I know people with ocd and hoarding and they say it's more of an obsession than addition. 
    Possibly a close link between obsessions and addictions.
    Do not follow me, I don't know where I am going.
  • MarkinsuttonMarkinsutton Member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    Thanks @thespiceman for me an addiction I think is something that has more a negative impact on your than a positive.

    For me yes drink was to control pain levels and also relaxes me. I have friends who also have Cerebral Palsy who use drink in the same way but I think you raised a good point that your body builds up a tolerance and when you are not getting the benefits and having to take more to get the same result for me its then has become an addiction. 

    I guess that is why I do have days I will reduce my dose and have spoken with my doctor about this. Thinking about what you have said some people would say there addiction is a hobby like gambling it only becomes a addiction when it is out of control and you can't stop. 

    I have seen in the media about people being hooked on prescribed medication and I think because I am aware of this and when possible I don't take a dose but I do worry I am reliant on medication but this is not a bad thing as it helps me function. it is only the pain relief that worries me as I don't see it any better than the drink. I know my other medication I take for things like for the epilepsy i have taken since a child and when I have come off them I have had seizures being reliant doesn't worry me it only anything that changes your character is classed as an addiction and I don't think I have ever met anyone who is a worse person after they have kicked the addiction. 

  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @whistles Thank you for comments the big issues. I had a friend long alcohol dependency as he used to call it.

    Had I believe some days the need to have a drink, depended it on his well being.   His choice of words in my opinion.  Mine was he is an alcoholic he needs it all day and even night well that's a problem. Yet it was causing interaction with his meds.

    All addictions could be dependent on the user then if you really want to know.

    It is a lifestyle as well known documentary evidence in when you are assessed in rehab.  Understand this never a straight answer .  I never met anyone who goes into a clinic I am an alcoholic and admit to it.  First time being in the assessment  treated asked my first question.  Why am here?  I am a gentleman a man do I need help please. No thank you  No I am getting out.  This is the problem understand me.  It is a fallacy no one stands up and say it.  Only  when confronted with the evidence from the clinic and the sudden awareness you are killing yourself.

    No one understands addiction till they go through it.  Understand also this is why I want to go to schools to talk about it.  Every one knows alcohol is the good time have a few drinks lets me be happy and then there is the other side.  Understand I know this you got a friend who drinks too much .. Do you wish to be her friend .  End up getting her self in to trouble.  Opening her mouth saying secrets who you have told privately.  Now she telling every body.  All because of alcohol.  Trust me I have been their.

    Believe me I had the bruises to show it.  Alcohol made me forgot who and what I was saying, do want to be my friend .  Who does.  Sometimes start off in one area and find myself miles from home.  How did I get there.

    You see I put it like this.  You like lets say chocolate just a little bit, so then you eat a whole bar.  By the end of the week you are putting chocolate on your shopping list first.

    Next month have money to pay for food or chocolate, then you create now this thought of got to have chocolate.  Bills come chocolate or rent.  Now you are developing a issue being a craving chocolate.  Hide it though from friends and have secret stash locked cupboard.  Putting on weight or even losing still not admit it.

    In the end chocolate all the time, then you would have and addiction 

    Believe me you would die if you had friends found out.  So you dump them create a excuses I believe then even consider changing your routine.  Start selling stuff for chocolate.

    Find out where the chocolate deals are and walk a mile to get chocolate, this is the same for addiction of alcohol.

    Trust me you will be amazed at what I have said there are people who are doing this right now for chocolate.

    Take care


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  • susan48susan48 Member Posts: 2,229 Disability Gamechanger
    Well done the spiceman,

    you up should be so proud of yourself 


  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Markinsutton Thank you sharing just good to hear your point of view.

    This is an interesting debate, I never meant to be so.  I am not doing this to say look at me.  I am just a gent wishes to share.

    I thought share my thoughts on alcohol because of the questions arising.

    People do not understand addiction unless they have had some experience of it.  I used to be open to show my emotions and feelings.

    Realised the tentacles of addiction reaches every body has a family member who has been blighted by alcohol.

    I am hopefully kind caring and full of concern.

    I do know I am a better person, still have struggles everyday but I am a stronger person.

    I am also too aware the connection between certain disabilities and pain and addiction.

    Great to talk to you.
    Community Champion
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  • algy194algy194 Member Posts: 25 Listener
    Wow so tech book with so many me included  Seems to be the same for so many with this illness    ...God Bless 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @algy194 Pleased to meet you welcome, that is the situation with alcoholism.  The WHO World Health Organisation has classed alcoholism a disease.

    It is an illness and this the issue people need to recognise and be more understanding.

    I did not set out to say how technical and mind blowing this illness is.

    When you start out on the road to recovery what ever stage you are at.  You have coping strategies and methods to cope.  You look at why you drink, why the need, the systems and plans put into place.  How do you cope day to day.

    Understand this the cure the battle to be absent from alcohol is a success if and when you are ready to deal with the mental side.

    I am still always be dealing with anxiety and depression that is the way.

    If you saw me and came to my home, I have always an empty glass on the table near me.  Others may have a empty beer can.  This is the sign for those who are absent.  A constant reminder of bad days, I have to switch off TV when ads come on for alcohol.  Especially cooking shows early morning or this fascination to make cocktails ungodly hours on some of these programmes.

    What about your self may I ask how are you doing?  I am not interfering here but you are my brother who is part of our addiction community.

    Always here to say to listen and the decision to change is yours remember.

    I am not here for that, just being caring and concerned.

    Take care
    Community Champion
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