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hello , im martyn

marty3marty3 Posts: 4Member Listener
hi im new here, i found this site by searching for advice and answers about pip. i have made a different post on that which i believe to be in the correct forum. im new to forums but i quite like the ideal that people such as myself with "a condition" or illness can get good advise and guidance without leaving the home. this is especially good for me being a sufferer with agoraphobia (no that isnt fear of spiders lol)

a little more about me:
im 40 years old (41 in a couple weeks 9th may) i have been addicted to heroin since i was 15 years old, my entire adult life has been a struggle. i just hope my honesty doesn't cause me to be looked upon differently. if its any difference i never did crime for my addiction i always worked to support my habit and paid taxes. ive been clean for a couple of years now, im on methadone still which is a horrible drug and 100 times more addictive than heroin. i wish to god i never drank the stuff in the first place.. just because its legal under a prescription doesnt mean its good. yes it stops the horrible withdraw from heroin but at a huge cost towards mental health. its made me think i need that methadone. like really need it. im working on different angles to finally reduce and get of it.

i wish that was my only problem, but i belive all the drug abuse over the years has had its tool on my mental health. im not in a good way, not at all. i get crippling panic attacks like you wouldnt belive. and i just absolutely have to get home. so with this i dont go out at all, only to the chemist and doctors and even then my mum and or dad takes me. over the past 5 or 6 years my parents have been so good to me. since i couldn't work anymore they have been my lifeline.

its horrible, i want my Independence back, i feel ashamed, i feel a failure. i feel so many things and none of them are anything good. ive been living on £80 per week esa money for years. i applied for pip several years ago and gor declined, so i applied again back in July last year and again was declined (i knew it was gonna be) but this time i appealed and i think i won the appeal, i got a letter from the tribunal court saying i won and im allowed to have enhanced living pip and standard mobilty pip which was such a huge relief reading that letter, i literally cried reading it.. so i waited another week expecting to get a letter from dwp but nothing came, so today, well yesterday now (ive been up all night :( not in a good place in my head) i rang the pip. after being on hold for 1 hour and 24 minutes a lady spoke to me and i asked how much and when will i expect my new payments, she told me that they will appeal my appeal :( now im in a panic again.

my dad worked it out, i not sure how or where he got the info from but he said i should expect an additional £100 per week on top of my £80 esa. and back payments, im not sure what it is and i think he has it wrong, but what a huge relief it would be if true. i shouldn't of got my hopes up. trhings never work out for me, i think its my destiny to live a meaningless miserable life.

the court letter said im entitled to from 7/72017 to some date in 2020. im curious to know if they will pay  all those weeks / months almost a year of backpay? personaly i dont think. but it would make my life so much better. im sorry, this is a miserable post :( i just dont know what to do, guess i try sleeping again, ive read lots on here and people seem very nice. hope i dont get called bad things as im an addict, probaly not a good ideal to of admitted that, but ive always been one for honesty. lol that must sound crazy, an drug addict being honest, right., but i wasnt the criminal addict, i worked hard for my money.

its good to be here, hope no one has a problem with my past, if you do, well i dont care its your problem not mine, i am who i am

Replies

  • GeoarkGeoark Posts: 1,190Community champion Pioneering
    Hello @marty3 and welcome to the community.

    From my perspective we all make poor decisions at some point, especially as children, sadly some of these will have far reaching consequences than others. Congratulations on being clean from heroin for the last couple of years.

    You might find https://www.recovery.org.uk/methadone-addiction/ of help in your journey to recover from the methadone addiction, they can advise you on your options either through the NHS or other free support or private. They do have a helpline for help and advice.

    The DWP often look at appeal decisions to decide if they want to appeal, though they can only do this if there is a point of law that has been breached. This is rare and they don't always win. I have no idea how long it takes to get to the appeal but you can always ask for advice from CAB or a local law centre if you have one in  your area. As long as your appeal is not overturned it should be backdated.

    Based on the information you have given you should get £108.25 see https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/pip/before-claiming/how-much-you-get-and-how-long/

    As you mentioned you are not in a good place at the moment, just take things one day at a time, once you have gotten off methadone and given your body and mind time to recover things will probably look better. If you ever feel like committing suicide or in a bad place and just need to speak to someone you can call the samaritans on 116 123 - this is a free line so will not cost you.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • atlas46atlas46 Posts: 827Community champion Pioneering
    Morning marty

    A very warm welcome to our community.

    Wow what a post.

    Its is a very honest and insightful account.

    You have very good parents and they have stop by you through good and bad.

    The DWP in theory could appeal the decision, the reality is the last thing they would do is appeal.

    You will get your award backdated.

    As PIP is classed as a passport benefit, you and your parents should arrange a visit to your local CAB, to check what other benefits you might be entitled to.

    By way of example, one of your parents could claim Care's Allowance £62 per week.

    Have you ever considered voluntary work, with a local drugs charity, you would be an outstanding advocate.

    Let us know how you get on and keep in touch.

    Give your mum and dad a big man hug from me.

    Best wishes

    atlas46
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 5,359Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @marty3 Pleased to meet you. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Understand all this with addiction. I have been alcoholic and have done drugs over thirty years . Addiction history. My friend first congratulations coming off. Hardest thing ever.

    Small steps all and every day.

    Been clean eleven years myself and the stigma and the trauma and the pain never goes away.  Constant reminders all the time. Either from people who recognise me and what to dredge up the past.

    Constant bombardment on the media of alcohol and the adverts.

    My opinions and views on drugs and alcohol is education is going into schools is teaching and learning to communities.

    Many times are have been shunned by people.

    Even am clean with disability still having mental health issues.

    Understand your situation with benefits. My advice is to seek help from welfare support.  Also CAB.

    Plus if had help with your addiction. Still have that support. Consider any advice they can assist with. Recovery workers are always concerned with relapsing.

    My concern is that for my self and others who have addiction histories.  Like your good self.

    Stress and being anxious is part of having an addiction.

    All and every day have the urge and itch to drink but staying off is a struggle. Finding the right support is hard and not easy.

    You have your family many of us had nothing.  That is excellent, good.

    To stay absent.  Have coping strategies. Do many things gardening is one.  

    Worse thing is the after effects. Mental issues, confusion. Find to hard to understand why I did what I had been doing.

    Why drink do drugs? Lots of guilty , emotional feelings.  We have all be there and still am.

    All I can say am here to listen.

    Take care

    The Spiceman




  • JennysDadJennysDad Posts: 2,308Member Pioneering
    I'm just saying hello and welcome Marty @marty3. You've heard already from three of our very, very best and I don't think there's anything useful that I can add.
    As to guilt and shame, however - only an idiot or a somehow-incomplete human being blames people for errors that we all of us can make and are lucky if we don't.
    Warmest best wishes to you,
    Richard
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 5,856Member Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @marty3, welcome to the community! Thank you for sharing this with us- you've had some great words of encouragement above. Please do let us know if we can be of assistance, and all the best for your appeal outcome!
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