Mental health issues
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since losing my beloved dog i can't see a future

SystemSystem Posts: 470 Scope community team
This discussion was created from comments split from: anxiety agoraphobia depression.

Replies

  • twistdlocatwistdloca Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Hi
    I suffer from clinical depression, severe anxiety which prevents me from leaving my home, dependant personality disorder n other medical conditions. I live alone in a basement property but had a beautiful dog for 15yrs whom gave me the security I needed to live in my property. Unfortunately he passed away 3weeks ago which has left me at rock bottom n petrified to be alone at home n fearing for my life. This is due to my ex boyfriend cheating on me with a married woman living in my block n me finding out. I was in maudsley hospital for 3weeks last year n had to live with my daughter n her family for most of last year due to this n my mental health, there's somuch more to the situation n yes the police were involved. 
    Basically since losing my beloved dog i can't see a future n live in fear every day n am lost as to what to do next.
  • RebeccaMHadvisorRebeccaMHadvisor Member Posts: 99 Courageous

    Hello @twistdloca

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

    I can see that you are a new member to the community and we really appreciate you being here.

    If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]

    You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself:

    http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/how-can-i-help-myself/

    If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

    Having him with your for 15 years I can only imagine the loss that you are feeling, losing a pet can be as traumatic as losing a family member, they are a family member! I think it is important to remind yourself of that and to give yourself time. Coping with that grief can be hard and talking to someone about it can really help you. There is some great advice on the NHS website on how to deal with loss and please use the community. We are all here to support you.

    Rebecca


  • feirfeir Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    I felt a lot safer having a dog as well, even though she was a big softy and wouldn't harm anyone who came near her. I cried for 3 months solid when she died several years ago. Weirdly i came back from a hospital appointment the other week and expected her to be waiting for me.

    Sorry to hear about your loss. As you suffer from disorders i don't fully understand or haven't experienced in the same way as you i don't have any advice. Do the police still have victim support and could they help at all?
  • lillybellelillybelle Member Posts: 458 Pioneering
    My boarder collie was 15 when I had to make the hard choice to put her to sleep as she was in heart failure this was three years ago. 6 mths before that my mum who was so much loved died of a stroke and as the two of them thought the world of each other I literally fell apart.
       I said I would never get another dog. I had my dog privately cremated and I have her ashes.
    Then 3 months later I had a golden retriever puppy.
    the first 12 mths I often wondered why did I have her as going from an old dog to a puppy who was like a toddler was not easy.
    Then I realised that she was the reason I got up in a morning, she was the reason I went out as she needed walking, she was the reason that I didn’t feel lonely any more.
    i can honestly say- she kept me alive when I could of quite easily of given up 
  • WaylayWaylay Member Posts: 888 Pioneering
    Oh god... I lost my two 19yo kitties 1.5 years and 2 years ago (I got them as kittens). I literally howled with grief when Koz went limp in my hands. Miso, true to her independent little self, disappeared during the night a few days before I was going to let her go. I cried for months for both of them, and I still do, occasionally, although most of the time I think about all the zany, ridiculous, loving things they used to do, instead. I became disabled 10ish years ago, and for 9 years, those kitties were often my only company for weeks at a time. Koz spent all of her time within 3 feet of me (unless she was in the litter box), and Miso would spend half her time patrolling her fiefdom and half the time following me around the house or lounging on the chair by my bed. My mental health regularly left me suicidal, but I could never do it because who would care for them? It's not like anyone would adopt two cats in their teens with long-term illnesses. They literally kept me alive.

    So I've been through something similar to what you're going through now. To say that it hurts is an understatement. I felt like my heart had been ripped out and was dragging around behind me wherever I went. I felt as if there was nothing left to live for. But there is. I'm sure that your beloved dog wouldn't want you to die; in fact, I bet that she/he* would want you to keep enjoying all the things you used to do, and remember how happy you made *her*. She was your reason to stick around, and I'm betting that she felt the same way. Of course you'll mourn her, but eventually the grief will subside into the background, and the memories of her will make you laugh and sigh (and wrinkle your nose at remembered stinkiness!)

    At some point you'll be ready for a new friend. If that takes a long time, maybe you could volunteer with dogs, as a dog walker (something like http://www.cinnamon.org.uk/volunteers/), or volunteer puppy socialiser (https://www.dogsforgood.org/get-involved/volunteer/puppy-socialiser/puppy-socialiser-appeal-2018/)? There are so many dogs who need help, and you're someone special - a human who loves dogs, knows how to act with them, and has time to do it!

    When you are ready for a new friend, it doesn't have to be a puppy. You could go to a shelter and get a slightly older dog: one who's alone, sad, and wanting a home and family. You made your dog's life a very happy one, and I'm sure she'd want you to do that for another doggie.

    On Friday I got a new friend. He's tiny, brown, fuzzy, and full of so many purrs that he literally shakes with them. I still miss my old ladies, but the joy of having a kitten to care for, and the way he's already coming to me for love, have banished the depression that was close to killing me just 1 week ago. I know it'll come back, but then I'll have my purrpurr boy to keep me company. You can have that too, I promise.

    *I'm just going to guess she's a girl, because writing she/he was hurting my hand.



  • PalmarosaPalmarosa Member Posts: 7 Listener
    I am so sorry about the loss of your dog l know the big hole they leave when they die. It' ok to feel sad your dog was a true companion and you will miss many little things about him/her. The Blue Cross has a telephone pet bereavement service that may help. <3
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