I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
I can see that you are a new member to the community and we really appreciate you being here.
If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]
You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself:
If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.
Having him with your for 15 years I can only imagine the loss that you are feeling, losing a pet can be as traumatic as losing a family member, they are a family member! I think it is important to remind yourself of that and to give yourself time. Coping with that grief can be hard and talking to someone about it can really help you. There is some great advice on the NHS website on how to deal with loss and please use the community. We are all here to support you.