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Autistic 17 yr old son not in education.

lindyjlindyj Posts: 2Member Listener
Hello i have a 17 yr old Autistic son who suffers with Anxiety and has severe asthma. after a lot of discussions with his previous school and a meeting i set up with the special needs teacher and child psychologist.. it was agreed my son needed to stay on at 6th form as he was not ready for college..after the school hoidays he returned to the school in sept 2017 after a lot of upset..he was in the school 6th form for not even an hour and the school call us to go and collect him ( he has never gone out alone without us) saying he is very unhappy and doesnt want to be here and we cant make him stay if he doesnt want to .. also they say they didnt have an adequate course for him to be on.. myself and my husband left frantic at this point as we both work and we dont have any family members to help.  my son has been in our care ever since.  the college cant give him the support he needs as the school didnt have an EHCP in place? the school just didnt give us any support at all , they just washed there hand s of him .. we have been fighting since he came out of school to get him an EHCP and had it rejected last week. i give up now .. our family life is so stressful. we have a 24 yr old with Anxiety and mental health problems also. i only work 7 hrs a week as i am unable to do more having to be home for my sons .. and also trying to  look after my mother with Cancer who lives 3 miles away from me and unfortunately i dont drive so everything is on foot. my son being out of education is horrendous we tried to get help from Autism Together and career connect.. the list goes on.. his Anxiety levels most days being through the roof.  and to add even more woe on top of this we have lost our Child Tax Credits , my husbands working tax credits , housing benefit?/ £600 month down.. i am at my wits end..we have asked so many people for advice i have now  got in arrears with my rent  because of the money being down every month.. i just wonder where all this ends?.. if its not bad enough that my son has to deal with his Anxiety and then the authorities kick you in the teeth and take away money that was vital. we are still left to look after him, he still has to be clothed and fed. i have never been so scared but i cant sleep at night anymore...

Replies

  • northwestmum2northwestmum2 Posts: 52Member Courageous
    You poor woman! My sympathy is with you! My youngest has gone on for years with various medical and diet and behavioural problems,poor motor skills,poor balance,sleep problems etc, not much help from school except a word processor for exams and a multi skills class-that strangely school has declared a claim for extra funding for (for them) because of ' extra care' yet they put him on SEND register,but wont officially give him EHCP- nor would they help when i applied for DLA for him(hes now 15)which we cant  get since age 12, and hes recently been diagnosed as having cerebral palsy since birth also and is on CAHMS list to see pshycologist for ASD pathway- yet still no proper EHCP-What is wrong with these people?how can they teach these kids every day yet not lift a finger to help them get the help and benefits they need?No its not just about money,but how can they not see that to deny them what theyre entitled to is like saying they dont believe them??or that they dont care if theyre suffering??Or that their family is suffering as a result??As soon as you are asked "do they have a statement?"(which they still do- even though its now EHCP-and you have to admit no,then no- one wants to know!!It doesnt matter to them that youre in a "grey area"- your are not entitled!! At one point i was feeding &clothing myself and my 2 disabled sons on just my own low rate ESA& child benefit for months till i got my elder son his own PIP sorted.(which itself took 16 months and an appeal!)Could you perhaps apply for PIP for him as hes 17 maybe??it may help as you can then ask for carers allowance and ask again if you are able to re-instate tax credits then maybe as hes still on a disability benefit??It cant hurt to find out.Go see a welfare benefits officer for hepl/advice.
  • northwestmum2northwestmum2 Posts: 52Member Courageous
    Sorry.HELP/advice.(its been a long day):/
  • northwestmum2northwestmum2 Posts: 52Member Courageous
    The school ring to threaten my son with sending him to the local "medical attendance" school everytime he has time off for being ill- and when i mentioned his CP to attendance officer she actually asked me what it was!! Ask again at local colleges for help- my elder son has CP also all his life(hes19)and OCD issues,but got no help in school nor EHCP(or statement as it was then)BUT college have been a huge help to him-and hes got a personal disabled  student support and is in a disability tutor group.And a bursory allowance if he needs it plus travel is free to/from college.My grandson also has autism and goes to a mainstream college.and he gets taxi transport from council.Maybe you could check a few out yourself?maybe school are being too quick to assume he couldnt manage elswhere...?
  • northwestmum2northwestmum2 Posts: 52Member Courageous
    Look up NATSPEC also- they are an organisation who have a HUGE list of specialist colleges for young people with differing disabilities,and maybe able to help.also mumsnet has a lot of info on ESA  and/or PIP for young people (16 and over) to claim in their own right.My own minefield will begin again when my elder son turns 20 in october and his tax credits&child benefit stops even though his college course goes on till hes nearly 21! The whole bloody sytem is madness!! At one time,if you had a child or teenage dependant it was straightforward,you got some income support.or family income suppliment, for them,wether you yourself were working,or not,to help 'support' your income,(clue was in the name!)now theres so much blinking different' benefits' and names for them its ridicuous!But still benefit is in the name,so thats what they should do- benefit people- we shouldnt have fight or struggle to get them!good luck lindyj.
  • lindyjlindyj Posts: 2Member Listener
    Thank you so much for all your help everyone, for once i dont feel alone ... i  really appreciate the advice you have all given ..
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