Mental health issues
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How do I get help when I'm struggling emotionally (UK)?

KashaUKKashaUK Member Posts: 2 Listener



I'm going through a very tough break-up - a short but intense relationship, going from the best relationship I've ever had where we saw each other every day to a situation where he would gaslight but broke up with me when I tried to talk to him about it. Codependency issues and big issues with rejection, on top of my life generally being bad and my feeling hopeless/helpless, is sending me into a tailspin.

I have no family or friends to support me, it's difficult for me to meet new people due to finances but also struggling to find ways to meet new people - I was using meetup.com but as my ex is an active member of local group this isn't really a great option right now. I find it hard to meet people but even harder to make friends due to the fact that I'm Autistic, so even if I could get the social time I need to feel better I'd still not have emotional support of friends. 

I must stress again - I have ZERO social support, no friends or family and that's a big problem.

I'm currently not working and haven't worked for a decade because of autism making it hard for me to know how to job search and apply for work (I am capable of working, but this is clearly a huge barrier for me and I just can't find the support to help me), this means a lot of time on my hands but no money to find new hobbies etc. to distract myself from my break-up, to help with my depression, and just generally to improve myself as well as care for my wellbeing. I do volunteer but right now it's just once per week. I spend too much time sat in my house. 

I need help to sort out my life re. employment etc, and just support while I struggle through this. 

I am already on a waiting list for therapy but I really need something now...support to find some way of actively improving things for myself rather than just sitting miserable, and social inclusion.

Replies

  • sam12sam12 Member - under moderation Posts: 1,347 Pioneering
    Where about u from am goin throu same problems am not wanted by mh they discrimaated me.try mental health helpline at nite they very good helping me. If ur in Lancashire areas try Lancashire well being services 
  • EmmaBEmmaB Member Posts: 263 Pioneering
    Hi - it sounds like you are going through a really tough time with lots going on... While you wait for therapy presumably through your GP you could see if you could find a low cost counselling service in your area which might give you some space to talk about what's going on for you.  The key would be to find someone you get on with and hopefully will grow to trust.  You could also talk to your GP and they might have ideas re an appropriate service for you?  If the voluntary work works for you - could you do a bit more of that?  I hope you find some good support to get you through this patch.  
  • livrose86livrose86 Member Posts: 34 Connected
    Sorry to hear this. I can sympathise. Hope you find a way! Whether you live somewhere busy or quiet, best to try your GP for advice and links etc. Or helplines. 
    Good luck. 
  • KashaUKKashaUK Member Posts: 2 Listener
    EmmaB said:
    Hi - it sounds like you are going through a really tough time with lots going on... While you wait for therapy presumably through your GP you could see if you could find a low cost counselling service in your area which might give you some space to talk about what's going on for you.  The key would be to find someone you get on with and hopefully will grow to trust.  You could also talk to your GP and they might have ideas re an appropriate service for you?  If the voluntary work works for you - could you do a bit more of that?  I hope you find some good support to get you through this patch.  
    Re. voluntary work: the effort it takes to find and apply for voluntary work is the same as with paid work, thus would be better spent looking for paid work.
  • EmmaBEmmaB Member Posts: 263 Pioneering
    If you are keen to get back to paid work [and I totally get your logic there, though voluntary work can be a good pathway to paid work] then I wonder if Mind could help e.g. https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/our-policy-work/benefits/back-to-work/  or they might be able to put you in touch with someone locally who could support you through this process.  I really hope you can hit upon a supportive local resource.  
  • JazzguitarJazzguitar Member Posts: 180 Courageous
    My GP is very unsympathetic and my depression and lack of sleep Neville Pearson
  • EmmaBEmmaB Member Posts: 263 Pioneering
    That's a shame about your GP, unfortunately there are some that aren't so great... Perhaps try your local MIND...  I know it might be difficult to approach them but they will have a lot of experience and knowledge and might be able to help you or at least steer you in a positive direction? 
  • feirfeir Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    I'm in some facebook groups for mental health and finding those ok. You may even be able to find someone in one of them who is able to help you job search,seems like a long shot but you'd be surprised who joins these groups and what they are capable of doing.

    Maybe check out groups for autism, co-dependency, or any other issues you feel that you have. I find the groups that are most active tend to be the most helpful and you can see before you join a group how active it is (will say how many new posts today).
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