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Have 3 family members with asd. Anyone else in same boat?

cookie567cookie567 Posts: 7Member Connected
Hi. All in all I have a sister, son and daughter with an ASD. 
Additionally my mother has physical and mental disabilities so I have 4 people to care for on top of everyday life. Looking to see if anyone else has care loads as heavy as mine and how they cope mentally, and any suggestions on financial issues that advice may be available. 

Replies

  • Firefly123Firefly123 Posts: 281Member Pioneering
    Hi I have 2 sons and a daughter on the spectrum so I know the struggle it can be 
  • gem82gem82 Posts: 3Member Listener
    I also have 2 sons and 1 daughter on the spectrum and my partner too.. I also suffer from bipolar 2 and  fibromyalgia. the most thing I have found hard it is all 4 have different needs no 2 autistic people are the same. my eldest son is 18 and im still learning him. everyday is different in my home.. one of the worse things with my little girl who is 11 is that she cant cope with her emotions so weather  she is happy sad or frustrated she cuts herself. I wish with all my heart that she could talk to me but I know she finds its really hard.. if anyone ever need to chat or just vent just message. its nice to know I'm not alone and people are there who we can share our problems with instead of keeping then locked up inside. xxx  
  • Firefly123Firefly123 Posts: 281Member Pioneering
    It sure isn't easy my daughter can't deal with her emotions either and ends up punching walls she was excluded now has to go to evening school so now I have no peace 24/7 and its rather exhusting
    Nice to meet you so to speak ☺ 
  • cookie567cookie567 Posts: 7Member Connected
    edited November 2018
    Hi. Yes not one has the same symptoms or behaviour as the other and all have different care needs. All 3 with asd have attended specialist provision, and I find the males present differently to the females on the spectrum. I have experienced via them self harming behaviours alongside bizarre and at times destructive behaviour which is exhausting. Think I cope by having huge quantities of coffee and allowing myself ‘me’ time. 
  • Firefly123Firefly123 Posts: 281Member Pioneering
    Yes my daughter is totally different from her  Brothers and much more challenging but yes they all have different needs I've forgotten what me time is. 
  • cookie567cookie567 Posts: 7Member Connected
    I rarely get me time but when I do I maximise it! 
  • Firefly123Firefly123 Posts: 281Member Pioneering
    Nice relaxing bath candles lite music on world out helps me destress. Do yours get into an argument mine do at times and none of them give up will be the most random to me unimportant thing in the world but to them it's like the end of the world. Today it was about wind turbines and lasted around 8 hours 
  • cookie567cookie567 Posts: 7Member Connected
    Pretty much so. I try to get them to try and change what they are talking about by talking about something different or changing the activity we are doing. I’ve learnt over the years that I have to separate them into other rooms as if I let the discussion go on too long one will thump the other! I can’t risk leaving the room if I think this is going to happen and escalation can happen quickly. 
    I direct towards using another room for one of them. At times for me to even use the toilet without some form of noise or one annoying the other is impossible. So I wait TIL I kno they are in their rooms or asleep and then try and relax somewhat.
  • Firefly123Firefly123 Posts: 281Member Pioneering
    Yes I ended up sending them to their rooms as it had been going on for a while then it started again after dinner they don't understand that they are both allowed different opinions and yes I try to change the subject talk about something else but doesn't work at times 
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