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My daughter's traumatic birth and autism

emelie21emelie21 Posts: 2Member Listener
edited September 27 in Parents and carers
Hey folks I’m new to this. I am looking for advice as my daughter gave birth almost 3 and a half yrs ago. She suffered a very traumatic birth. She was taken into hospital on sat 21st June at 6am, the day dragged on and my daughter was not dilating at all, we called nurse at 2am Sunday morning and was told all was fine, my daughter was writhing in agony. I asked for a nurse at 4am and she decided it was time for the labour ward. By 2pm my daughter had dilated 2cm and the midwife assured us this is it baby’s on way. By 4pm my daughter was still only 2cm! I went for a coffee break and when I returned to the labour ward I can only describe it as walking  into the twilight zone, nurses and docs running back and forth, my daughter was as white as a ghost, with clip boards being shoved in her face, signing her life away! I heard one midwife say to another “ time to get the consultant off the golf course! My daughter was screaming “mum somethings wrong” I was then informed that while I was away they had entered the womb to take blood from baby to check that she wasn’t being starved of oxygen, which she was. Finally at 9.40pm my daughter had a c section. When the nurse came to get me to introduce me to my granddaughter we were walking along the long corridor, I could hear lots of crying babies but one baby was screaming the most high pitched noise, I knew immediately that it was my granddaughter and I walked straight to the screaming baby. My daughter had 2 blood transfusions. Finally after almost a week my daughter got home and  granddaughter appeared fine, very calm, didn’t cry much as a baby but then we noticed she wasn’t atempting
 to speak. I then noticed how she played with toys, she would sit for hours trying to stack round bricks, there were 10 bricks and she could only stack 8 then they would collapse, she would get annoyed and start all over again and would never allow you to help. Finally she got the ten blocks all stacked up, she was 14 months old, I knew there and then that she was on the spectrum. My daughter refused to accept that there was anything wrong until speech therapists visited and said they thought there may be a chance my granddaughter may have autism. My daughters world crumbled around her and she separated from her partner.  3 yrs down the line we got her assessed and we have been assured she is on the spectrum but assessment had to be cut short as her behaviour was terrible and she would not make eye contact with specialist she became very violent so dr decided to cut assessment short so he could have a discussion with the nursery. I am also worried about prader willie’s syndrome as she eats constant and wants food every 10 mins. I supported people on the spectrum for almost 10years so luckily I’ve been able to pick up on the traits. The more difficult things we have to deal with on a daily basis is emmence, no 2 days are the same. My daughter worked hard went to the gym and done everything she was advised during her pregnancy. I’m so angry and frustrated as I know the birth was to blame. Can anyone inform me if we can take nhs to court or would we just be fighting a losing battle? Any information would be great x

Replies

  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 2,824Member, Community champion Brian Blessed
    Hi @emelie21
    Welcome to the community! I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you all. I really wish I knew what advice to give you but I don't and I'm really sorry. I hope there is someone in the community who is able to help you. I sincerely wish you all the best and please keep us updated and let us know if you need any further help x
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Posts: 1,368Member Chatterbox
    Hi @emelie21 and a very warm welcome to the community! I am so sorry to hear about this. I hope you find the community a supportive network and we are always more than happy to help. I personally am unsure what to advise, it may be worth contacting someone who is qualified to make that kind of judgement. I wish you the very best of luck and please do let me know if there is anything we can do to support you and your family.
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 4,873Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @emelie21, and welcome!

    Thanks for sharing this with us, and I'm so sorry to hear about yours and your daughter's experiences. It sounds like you've had a really tough time and it must be really difficult to be pursuing legal aid whilst supporting the family.

    I'd recommend having a look at Scope's page on how to find legal help, and getting in touch with some of the organisations listed on there, who may be able to assist you more directly. However, please do feel free to keep active on the community, and we'll offer support and advice where we can. 
  • emelie21emelie21 Posts: 2Member Listener
    Thank you you so much for your lovely helpful comments and it’s great to know that there are people like yourselves that can understand. It’s such a difficult subject to discuss as so many people don’t understand. I bought my daughter a book which I’d read 15yrs ago and was fascinated, “ the indigo children”. This book changed my life and I knew then that this was the career I wanted. I spent the best years of my life with these extraordinary people. I hope my daughter get the same from this book as I did as it’s full of useful tips to prevent meltdowns. We got kenetic sand and moulds, and magnetic shapes which I can honestly say have been our saviour, she’ll sit for hours playing with them. At least we know now what type of toys to help my granddaughter’s growth as last xmas was horrendous for her, we had to cancel the day as she was so stressed out, we know now that certain noises and smells set her off. So at least we know how to work around it. Thanks again for reaching out to me, Kindness and empathy are definitely the best remedy xx
  • Laura99Laura99 Posts: 62Member Talkative
    There is no evidence that long labour causes autism, though. And Prader Willi Syndrome is a chromosomal disorder, so you the labour cannot have caused it. If you think that PWS is a possibility do ask for genetic testing.
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 4,873Administrator Scope community team
    Great to hear from you @emelie21, and really good to hear things are looking more positive at the moment! Wishing you and your family all the best.

    We have a new Autism and Asperger's advisor on the community now too, who'll be happy to help with any other queries you may have!
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