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Should I be honest about my disabilities on the dating scene?

faybabesfaybabes Posts: 1Member Listener
edited October 2018 in Dating and relationships
I'm just returning to the dating scene after 3 years on my own, as soon as I start talking about my disabilities and those of 2 of my children they lose interest...isn't it best to be upfront and honest?

Replies

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    absolutely be honest....i question why mention the childrens issues when just starting to date because 1) dating you does not include the kids at first ...2) concentrate on making a friend first and formost and let things develop ho estly and slowly. I dont believe disability has to define someone so I wouldnt make that the focal point if your date does well maybe they not good enough for you?
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 3,869Member, Community champion Brian Blessed
    Hi @faybabes welcome to the community!

    I totally agree with @vickyanne. We all know the saying 'Honesty is the best policy' especially when it could potentially involve spending more and more time with someone.  
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • MKMaleMKMale Posts: 22Member Talkative
    Hello @faybabes ;
    I have to say that I agree. Being honest and upfront is the best way to be and I can't be any other way. I am not interested in fake people and I want someone to know the real me and to accept me for any hope of a future honesty and sincerity is a must!Must admit  that it doesn't help me and I agree that once women know about my disabilities they disappear/stop replying almost immediately
  • GarzaGarza Posts: 21Member Listener
    I have been with my current partner for 5 years, I am a wheelchair user so really no choice but to be open about things, we met on a dating site and I made a point of always showing my wheelchair in pics, the beauty of the dating site is that you are not going in cold and have a chance to chat about things online before making the step of meeting someone in person, dating for anyone can be a challenge let alone with added disabilities,good luck with your search
  • topshoestopshoes Posts: 443Member Chatterbox
    edited November 2018
    @faybabes ; i have been on most of the dating sites and must say few years now  on and off lol ,  where they are free and  once where you have to pay, and they are all the same , so yes one i would say be honest , but i will say you need your wits about you in more ways then one  , so if you need any help just ask ,  x
  • MarkmywordsMarkmywords Posts: 389Member Chatterbox
    If you avoid it, or worse lie about it, then what will happen when they finally find out? What will they think then?
  • Becky270Becky270 Posts: 5Member Whisperer
    Absolutely!! 100%. I am an 'able-bodied' person, and my partner Dan is a wheelchair user. (He has a rare, degenerative condition called Friedreich's Ataxia). He was so honest with me, I knew I could trust him straight away. Plus, it was really refreshing. I talk about how we met and how we broached the subject of his disability on my blog: https://headoverwheelsx.com/
    Becky :smile:

  • AndyDurhamAndyDurham Posts: 16Member Whisperer
    faybabes said:
    I'm just returning to the dating scene after 3 years on my own, as soon as I start talking about my disabilities and those of 2 of my children they lose interest...isn't it best to be upfront and honest?
    In my experience women seem to face less issues than men when it comes to online dating.  As a guy in his 40s I hide my condition from my profile for the simple fact that competition is far greater. But I will always talk about it after a few messages and if there seems to be interest.  I never lie in my profile saying I'm Mr keep fit or I go out dancing or anything I'm truthful with my Interests and hobbies.

    Since August I did meet one person who I really liked, the first date was awesome with lots of kissing (totally unexpected) however a few days later she made a number of comments which I wasn't happy about and decided she wasn't for me.  We spoke about it and she took it badly.  

    I believe every scenario is different I'm a truthful person and will always be blunt offering a get out quickly option.  Some have taken the option others well we still chat with intentions of meeting up and yes they know I have CRPS in both my legs. 
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