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Sex when in pain

im disabled and suffer chronic pain, i just dont feel like making love but my husband is very needy, this is making me very stressed and making my pain worse as hes always hinting for it 😢

Replies

  • poppy123456poppy123456 Posts: 8,165Member, Community champion Brian Blessed
    Hi,

    I'm not sure this is the place to ask this...
  • atlas46atlas46 Posts: 509Member, Community champion Chatterbox
    Hi @poppy123456

    Entirely agree.

    @kitty69 You need to speak to your GP, for guidance and support.

  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Posts: 2,517Member Brian Blessed
    There’s a section for sex and relationships. 


    I am a fibrowarrior!
  • PSHEexpertPSHEexpert Posts: 161Member, Community advisor Chatterbox
    Hi @kitty69 - you're in the right forum and it's a really important question, as many people suffer with chronic pain and it can have a real impact on your relationship and how you're feeling about things.  Are you under a specialist or anything for your disability?  I wonder whether seeking some more specific support around the sex end of things might be helpful - you might need them to refer you, though.  
    - Gill 
  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 7,152Administrator Scope community team
    Our members are welcome to ask questions around sex, relationships and intimacy as it is an important part of many people's lives.

    Of course there are times when we would recommend seeing a medical professional but please feel free to ask questions as @PSHEexpert is fantastic!
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • kitty69kitty69 Posts: 9Member Listener
    Im only under the pain clinic now but they have referred me to another session with a physcologist 
  • kitty69kitty69 Posts: 9Member Listener
    Im new so i apologise if ive offended anyone, sorry 
  • MauricigirlMauricigirl Posts: 2Member Listener
    Hi Kitty. I have severe chronic pain with CRPS. Before my injury and diagnosis physical intimacy was very important to my partner and I, so it's been tough dealing with the effects of the pain on our relationship.

    Talking openly with your partner is the best policy. Hopefully you can both have empathy for each others perspective. Our health issues are a part of our relationship now. My partner can get a bit full on at times. Having talked lots about it, he will put more effort into helping me relax, take some of the burden of responsibility like chores and cooking to help lessen pain as much as possible. Trying to maintain affection without the pressure of sex is important. Cuddles & no agenda massages are good.
    Although one thing I have found: orgasms are an amazing form of pain relief. Most meds don't touch my pain, but I've had 100‰ pain relief for a few minutes after one! 😄 It's so easy to get caught up in your pain bubble, so it's really important to engage with things outside of it, which is where our partners are and it must be as lonely for them as it can be for us.
    That's just my tuppence worth, but we are all different. Hope you manage to work it out. 😊
  • kitty69kitty69 Posts: 9Member Listener
    Thank you, its really nice to hear from someone else in that situation, i too was very into it before my condition got worse, my hubby is one of them who believes while hes at work little wifey does everything else at home so thats exhausting too 😢
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Posts: 8,165Member, Community champion Brian Blessed
    Sam_Scope said:
    Our members are welcome to ask questions around sex, relationships and intimacy as it is an important part of many people's lives.

    Of course there are times when we would recommend seeing a medical professional but please feel free to ask questions as @PSHEexpert is fantastic!
    Hi Sam,

    The reason i commented previously was because the question was asked in a totally different section of the forums which was inappropriate. It was then removed to a more appropriate section.
  • TheArrowTheArrow Posts: 20Member Whisperer
    If you suffer from chronic pain, you could try a hypnotherapist. I know someone from my area who can arrange Skype sessions. He does it as a profession.
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