If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.

Loose Lips cost PIPs

CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,246Community champion Disability Gamechanger
With many of the invisible disabilities that we have to put up with, outsiders are often suspicious or resentful that we are getting money for nothing, that we are scoungers if not outright fraudsters.
For sure they would not want to be in our position but unless absolutly nessecary why discuss your problems and benefits with people that don't need to know ?
To claim PIP your condition needs to affect you for the majority of time. If an outsider only sees you when you have a good day then it can easily lead to misunderstanding

Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste

Replies

  • exdvrexdvr Posts: 215Member Pioneering
    Very well put @CockneyRebel.  Far too many people jump to conclusions without knowing the facts of the situation.  It's also irritating when close friends or even family pass on things that they may know about on a need to know basis but which should be kept personal and private.

    Best wishes.

    DLTBGYD

  • easyeasy Posts: 83Member Courageous
    I worry that I should get anything as I often feel I can do anything I decide to do.
    It's not until I try to do these things that I find out I can't.
    I do not like to be negative so anyone would believe I can do everything.
    I hope this makes sense.
  • wilkowilko Posts: 1,733Member Disability Gamechanger
    People see me and ask how I cope most people I meet know and understand the benefits system and when asked if I am claiming PIP I don’t say non of your business but tell them the truth, yes I could claim a mobility car or a mobility scooter but I have my own car yes free road tax and my own mobility scooter bought before I claimed PIP. I am not miss claiming benefits have kept DWP informed of any changes to my conditions and have been reassessed and an amended award granted. But I can see why some people do see blue badge holders, wondering why they have a badge when they park and walk off with out an aid or limping then you see them walking about town carting their shopping as an able bodied person.
  • Mac1Mac1 Posts: 1Member Listener
    Had a pip assessment. Canceled my mobility how long before i can reapply
  • chockieschockies Posts: 61Member Courageous
    edited January 10
    This is so well put, it does not help if an assessor judges you on this too.

    I learned the hard way about 15 years ago when I began to receive DLA and a friend I told about it became moody towards me.

    She went around telling people things about it behind my back, and our friendship ended around a year and a half later as I could not take many more of her unkind comments and rumour spreading.

    I dont tell anyone about it now as a self care measure.

    People seem to get wild if they believe someone has something easy and they don’t.

    They just don’t know. 

    At a pip change over assessment recently, the assessment letter told me that I did not qualify for many reasons, though relevant to this topic were: ‘ you looked well, clean, appropriately dressed, and an appropriate weight for your height’.

    If you are applying for pip you have to look a certain way to qualify? 

    Give me a break 😄.

    What do they want us to do, turn up in fancy dress? 

    Chockies.
  • belgiumbunbelgiumbun Posts: 12Member Listener
    I lived this for years with my late wife she would not be affected by the very real worries i had for her i always stuck on the side of caution and tried to tell her she needed to watch herself because of hype that whipped itself up after Cameron got in around 2010 the world changed very quickly for anyone on DLA as it was then for her . Of course she had her good days and her spirit was so positive she almost infectious with good will for others , i was well aware though that neighbours family even viewed her and others on benefits as undeserving . She died not more than 7 years later i suddenly realised just how precious her good days were to her i wish i had not worried about what others might have thought or said and just enjoyed them with her , this is what arseholes forget with comments and  judging others those good days are precious to us to them and to be valued not hidden or feared in case you get your benefits stopped . When i look at how we treat people at how the DWP make hoops for ill people to jump it sickens me .
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Posts: 3,384Member - under moderation Disability Gamechanger
    With many of the invisible disabilities that we have to put up with, outsiders are often suspicious or resentful that we are getting money for nothing, that we are scoungers if not outright fraudsters.
    For sure they would not want to be in our position but unless absolutly nessecary why discuss your problems and benefits with people that don't need to know ?
    To claim PIP your condition needs to affect you for the majority of time. If an outsider only sees you when you have a good day then it can easily lead to misunderstanding

    Absolutely get where this is coming from, and it comes from a good place, but I kind of disagree. I make a point of posting stuff about myself because I do look as though there’s nothing obviously wrong and then talk about it in detail. The more we talk and explain the less such misunderstandings occur. I tend to the view we can’t have it both ways. It’s unrealistic to complain people don’t understand if we don’t ever explain. 
  • sheZZasheZZa Posts: 169Member Pioneering
    I totally understand and agree with every comment . I saw a fantastic pain management nurse a few years ago who ‘got it’. One of the things she said was that if you didn’t tell people about your condition how could they know, understand and help you. So I started to tell people. They were okay for a while but then would think that I should be better so I should go back to work. I would  remind them and explain everything again. They got fed up hearing it and I got fed up hearing myself say it so now I don’t bother. They also compare their illness, (ie a headache and I suffer with a Cerebal Spinal Fluid Leak,) or pain to mine and then judge me again. Im so resentful, I know I shouldn’t be but I can’t help it. I’m Learning  do what is best for me and not what everyone else wants me to do or worry about what they say. I also say that I’ve taken early retirement or make up a job as I don’t want people knowing my business. I trust no one. It shouldn’t be like this but it is x
  • chockieschockies Posts: 61Member Courageous
    edited January 11
    Hello Everyone 👋🏻

    Taking all the different experiences posted into account, it seems like one of those damned if you do, damned if you don’t situations.

    Whilst there certainly are plenty of kind people in the world who will consider what you’ve told them, -already know or will learn a bit about what you are going through, there are an equal amount of people who will not, people who will discount what you say, or could not give a flying cheeseburger what you are struggling with.

    Chockies 🍫.
Sign in or join us to comment.