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Don't know how to answer people when they say but you don't look disabled

MarionethMarioneth Posts: 13Member Listener
People get high rate because I've got a parking place in the Co-op because I'm disabled. They look at me and shake their heads as if I'm conning.
People have been out right rude to me and said you're not disabled there's nothing wrong with you.
I have m e.  I get bullied all the time when I go out.  Possibly because I make myself look presentable and I'm tall and I look strong.  Also I'm very outgoing but it really hurts me when people think I'm lazy for being in a wheelchair sometimes I can't walk.  The reason they think I'm faking it is because sometimes I'm walking around pretty normal.
They got worse when I got my Blue Badge as well.  They say how are you able to park here this is a double yellow line and when I tell them they said there's nothing wrong with me.
 I tell them I didn't ask to be disabled but it really ruins my day.
Don't know how to ask answer people when they say but you don't look disabled

Replies

  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 7,146Administrator Scope community team
    Im sorry to hear you have had such upsetting experiences @Marioneth - there is such a lack of understanding around invisible impairments.
    You might like to read @bevt2017 post about being told You don't look disabled.
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 4,531Member, Community champion Brian Blessed
    Unfortunately this is common especially with hidden disabilities. I have yet to find a cure for stupidity or ignorance. and won't waste what little breath I have trying to explain
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 7,146Administrator Scope community team
    I have an ileostomy bag and often get stopped or judged for using an accessible toilet, some people tell me to 'flash them my bag' but I dont see why I should have to 'prove' my needs to a complete stranger!
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • MarkmywordsMarkmywords Posts: 386Member Chatterbox
    There is nothing to be gained by engaging with such people. They cannot be convinced and will just get angrier if you try.
    Most of it is driven by envy as they see you getting a "benefit" over them but they don't see the price you have paid.
    If it was me then I'm afraid I would just be very rude and say "I don't answer to you. Mind your own business!"
    Naturally you'd have to assess whether they are capable of violence though.
  • MarionethMarioneth Posts: 13Member Listener
    Well I'm related to Royalty and have a privelidges?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    Sorry to hear what you are going through ....i too have ME and fibromyalgia i use a scooter ...i experience it too. Last PIp assessor said i didnt look tired lol...had a doctor say i didnt look ill and was reluctant to give me a sick. note before my diagnosis ( was having tests at the time) its awful but hold your head high and know deep inside yourself that what they are doing by being so ignorant says so much about them. its funny they cant see our. condition and we cant see their stupidity but they show us it. Their stupidity and ignorance is not our issue its theirs. Head up and continue and lets hope karma didnt hear them eh x
  • crackercracker Posts: 279Member Chatterbox
    Happens to me, too. I choose to just ignore it.
  • MarionethMarioneth Posts: 13Member Listener
    Next time I shall tell them I have all these privelidges because I haven't blue blood and am related to the Royal Family.
    It's just that these people piss me off too much!
  • ncpsncps Posts: 26Member Whisperer
    I have chronic pain and hear you very clearly, I run support groups for people with chronic pain and hear this a lot. However, I do wonder if we are to blame as most people do not talk openly about the pain and challenges they face so there is a complete lack of understanding. If we stopped thinking of ourselves as disabled and understood the problem is with society being disabled and not us we could stop feeling we had to justify our pain. We could then communicate more and people would have more understanding, we are basically asking for more understanding of something people do not understand but we are not explaining it it to them to help them understand in the first place.. communication is key. Just my personal opinion.

    Lou

    Northants chronic pain support

    www.ncpsuk.com


  • siobhan1siobhan1 Posts: 53Member Talkative
    I say to people "woukd you like me to explain why I am using this facility?" They get one chance from me. Nobody has ever said yes therefore their opinion means nothing to me because they aren't willing to consider a different perspective. I just want to say I'm very nervous in person... I get very anxious. I've had to adopt this approach because I used to worry what people thought about me. I decided that if I couldn't change the situation it's not my fault.

    Something else gets on my nerves more... A few weeks ago I had to go on the bus to hospital and because I have to sit with my wheelchair facing people, elderly strangers seem to want to give me unsolicited advice on anything ranging from arthritis cures to employment. One lady said to me that I'd never get better if I carried on using my wheelchair. I tried to exaplin about EDS and she said that there was no such thing when she was younger and that I moved my legs when I got on the bus and I was giving in to pain... had I considered working on a market, did I take fish oil capsules, am I incontinent etc. I see this as really rude and never have the confidence to say actually if you want to talk to me it's fine not to ignore the elephant in the room but I have other interests other than my wheelchair...
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