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How did you meet your partner

Hi 

I was just wondering how you and your partner met? I’m currently single and looking for a relationship. I have cerebral palsy online dating doesn’t seem to work. Is your partner disabled or able bodied? 

Replies

  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 3,869Member, Community champion Brian Blessed
    I first met my fiancé in 2011, we were in separate relationships at the time. Didn’t see each other until 2013, bumped into each other one day and been together since. I became disabled when I was 22 and it did knock our relationship but we got through it together and are very happy :) Don’t go looking for love, let love find you...it could be right in front of you.
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • essjayessjay Posts: 5Member Listener
    met my partner in a pub - my daughter introduced us and because of that, he thought I was married, so did nothing. As a divorcee its difficult to go into pubs on your own but Friday nights were great - I didnt drink alcohol, I went for the company and sat with a much older happily married man who I knew wouldnt try to get into my knickers. Phil thought he was my husband, then when I realised we were attracted to each other his friends were very protective of him and would not give me his number!  At the end of the night Phil used to call a taxi home as he wouldnt drink /drive. I went back to my place a couple of doors from the pub, and took the dog for a walk right by where Phil was waiting for the taxi just so I could see him again. :)  One night the taxi didnt turn up, so I suggested he could use my phone at home to ring for a taxi. We got to my place and Phil asked if I was worried about walking the dog so late at night, (he didnt know then that this was the ONLY time I walked the dog late at night) I said I wasnt worried so he then said we'll put it to the test and he kissed me there and then. OMG it was magic, I swear.  Best dog in the world, he sat down and waited till we let him in the house. It'd only taken us about nine months to finally get together, this was 1999, been together ever since. we were both in our 40's then so he was definitely worth waiting for. Dont force stuff, dont look for it, it will find you when you least expect it to.
  • CPfighter1990CPfighter1990 Posts: 14Member Listener
    Is he able or disabled?
  • essjayessjay Posts: 5Member Listener
    what difference does that make?

  • essjayessjay Posts: 5Member Listener
    PS I'm the one with a disability

  • CPfighter1990CPfighter1990 Posts: 14Member Listener
    I was just wondering as I wish everyone would stop saying it’s better if people with disability should also be with fellow people who have disabilities. I don’t think that should be the case, you can’t help who you fall in love with at the end of the day.
  • TopkittenTopkitten Posts: 900Member Chatterbox
    There is a much higher preponderance of physical and mental abuse in relationships where both are disabled but most healthy people will not accept being in a relationship with someone who is disabled unless the relationship starts before the disability. Often, the mere mention of disability on most dating sites will make a person a leper but then secrecy isn't the answer either as someone is unlikely to generate trust with someone who lies about it.

    I met my first wife through work and travelling there on the same bus. My second wife through a squash club. My last relationship started by meeting someone through a web site for divorced and separated. Since then I have had a few offers (since I became disabled) through living locally to them or meeting through help groups and I had hoped these would be lasting friendships but instead the idea of dating occurred to them and I lost them.

    Now it is more difficult to meet people but always consider going to help groups like those run by MIND or by local charities as this will at least generate friendships and maybe to more, just never appear desperate or over-enthusiastic as this is a negative signal.

    TK
    I am here to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I am all out of bubblegum -- They Live 80 something cult film.
  • Richard_ScopeRichard_Scope Posts: 1,227Member, Administrator Scope community team
    I met my wife in a pub where she hammered me at pool in front of all of my mates and then downed a pint. I knew then that he was the one for me! :D :D  
    Scope
    Specialist Information Officer - Cerebral Palsy
  • CPfighter1990CPfighter1990 Posts: 14Member Listener
    That’s great 
  • Becky270Becky270 Posts: 5Member Whisperer
    Hi! I met my partner Dan on the app Bumble. I wasn't actually looking to get into a relationship, I just wanted to get my confidence back and meet new people after being in an abusive relationship. 8 months on, we're living together and totally in love. Good Luck! PS, I  talk lots about dating and relationships with a disability on my blog: https://headoverwheelsx.com/ 
    Becky smile  
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