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An open letter to my bully

Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 4,924Community champion Disability Gamechanger
Hey I'm Ami! Country bumpkin (I'm from Norfolk). I'm 23, deaf, partially sighted, among other conditions and recovering from Transverse Myelitis. I joined Scope's online community early this year and was offered the role of a Community Champion! Today, I'm sharing an open letter to somebody who bullied me.

To the person who hurt me the most.
 
Here, I write an open letter to the person who I never thought would ever bully me. 
 
Did it really satisfy you when you mocked me and physically abused me? Did it make you feel better? Well, it made me depressed. That's right, you achieved what you were hoping to achieve. You got to me. You won. 
 
Did I ever do wrong by you? All I ever wanted was to make you proud of me. Was that too much to ask? I never let you down, in fact it was the complete opposite. You let me down in more ways than one. You were meant to be the person I admired, my role model. Yet you were not. 
 
It made me feel physically sick when you called me names, teased me and hit  me. I remember when I tried to defend myself by standing up to you, you would always tower over me and shout in my face. You always made me cry. I prayed each day that I would never become anything like you. 
 
You never done anything good to me, you ruined me. Yet I kept giving you chance after chance. 
 
I will never forgive you for what you did to me this year. I had not long been discharged from Critical Care, yet you thought this would be the appropriate time to brainwash me into believing that nobody told you what had happened to me. But I caught you out. I received proof that you had been notified and saw your excuse of a response. You had been told I was seriously ill and all you said was "OK". 

Why would you lie to me?
 
I thought I was doing the right thing by updating you  every so often. You had sent me a message and I didn't reply until an hour later because it was lunchtime.  I replied to you, explaining that I have been learning to use cutlery again which caused me to take a long time eating. What you said next...you left me speechless. 
 
"Maybe you need a nose bag" 
 
I looked at my iPad screen in horror. A nose bag is for horse's to eat out of, sometimes. You were laughing. How on earth was this funny? You knew I already felt like I was at rock bottom, yet you kept pushing me further down. That was it. I had enough of you treating me this way. I done what I should have done years ago, block all methods of communication to prevent you from ever speaking to me again. 
 
I have two words to say to you for treating me this way. 

Thank you.

From the abuse I had endured from you, I have found strength in me that I never knew I had. True, honest, loving family and friends who respect me: they are my motivation.

blank wall with green graffiti reading never lose hope
 
I am happy, inside and out. I am strong. I am moving on to better things. Best of all, I am nothing like you. 
 
Think before you speak. Think before you act. 
 
If you wrote a letter to someone who bullied you, what would you say? 
You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!

Replies

  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 4,924Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you @Pippa_Scope :)
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,214Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Ami2301 ; Thank you for sharing.

    I would write to my bully like this.

    I know and do have the misfortune in my life. The one person who bullied me .  Was some one no one ever expects to be. 

    Constant demands and the intentions were made from the outset. What my life would be.  You told me was I was a child.

    Having control over what every aspect of my life was going to be.  From what clothes to wear to what I had to eat to how I speak and eat. Even my choices of friends, and music were the views and opinions of a person.

    Who choose to make it clear nothing was ever good for me. In your eyes you had no compassion, empathy.

    Made me realise that I can not and do not want anything from you.  The early years and had hate and anger. Made me mentally ill and caused my down fall with addiction.

    Now do not feel anger after all no one likes any one angry. I do not have and do not feel anything for you. You and your face I see no more. Hear your voice no more.

    I had enough of all your lying and all the behind the scenes.  Using and abusing people for what. How exactly has and what has it proven.

    I do not feel hate towards to just know how much damage that you have done and all for what. Being a controller a bully.

    I remain strong and am reaching a hand to those that need a hand of friendship.

    All I can think for a brief moment. A flicker of flame and then I move on. To make myself whole again.

    Here I am a new beginning and new start to a life I have.

    Moving forward and finding new avenues and alley ways to go down.

    Life is a journey.

    All I have ended up is being the person I am and continue to be.

    @thespiceman


  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 4,924Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Very powerful @thespiceman :)
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • Jenny1959Jenny1959 Posts: 11Member Listener
    edited November 2018
    I was bullied from the age of 5 to 16 and my condition now, at the age of 59, is the aftermath of all of the beatings I had to endure.I wrote a poem and would like to share it.

     Bullies

     Bullies shouldn't prosper, Bullies shouldn't win,
     Do they realise the pain they cause as they stand and grin?
     Picking on the weak ones, some half of their size, If a victim stood up to them, they'd get a big surprise,
     You have a fear of going to school or fear of going to work,
    Victims lives are being ruined while the perpetrators smirk
     You sneak out of the school and the lonely streets you roam
    You pray to God that they don't follow you home You lay in your bedroom both day and night
     Tears streaming and in pain, no-one cares about your plight
     You endure being held down, feeling blows dealt to your head
     But no-one cares to intervene, so they stand and watch instead
     Bruised and battered and terrified after each attack
    Then later on in life the scars are still present on your back
     PTSD and night terrors soon become the norm
     The very rare restful night is the calm before the storm
     Bullying can continue later on in life
    A helpless victim at the mercy Of a husband or a wife
     Bullies think they are invincible When to a victim they attach
    But bide your time and one day They will meet their match
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 4,924Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    That was amazing @Jenny1959! Do you often write poetry?
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • Jenny1959Jenny1959 Posts: 11Member Listener
    Yes.About personal experiences and my observations on society.
  • vysvadervysvader Posts: 120Member Courageous
    edited November 2018
    Nice letters

    Is it measurable? It could be interesting to measure the outcomes, mainly, to see the results (either positive or negative) when appealing the effect in the aftermath of the open letters. One could've found it usable. 

    Just be careful, you don't wanna finish in a situation when the person will be making you public ads with the letter, speaking that you ring or spam him/her, to interpret it as a harassment. One can seem to think that there's already one who could see this event and how the public happily ate it. 

    Perhaps, it can work on some of the people (able to empathize) or just anyone (accepting a white flag) who wanna live in a peace, however, how I remember the correlation between the illegal leaks of private medic info (it doesn't matter if true or false, the leaks included both) and myself, I in the role of a target of public jokes, and many proper crime activities, it came immediately when they thought there's something seen as an attackable weakness, vulnerability, it incredibly energized and the tendencies tripled or furthermore multiplied each one time regardless of any other factor. Imagine, you're in a war and your enemy which doesn't wanna accept the peace, the enemy receives secret info like where's the weakest attackable point (how to defeat you). Will the enemy use the info in an attack or stop the war because of an empathy? That's the question which I can't answer on in your case, but you might think to consider.

    Best regards
    You can feel free to get in touch 
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