If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.

Wanting the age to adopt a child to be 18 or 19

Sholay09Sholay09 Posts: 77Member Courageous
Hello I am 20 nearly 21 and I have been thinking in my mind about wanting to adopt a child or wanting the age to adopt a child and other things that have a minimum age requirement of 21 or 25 to be lowered to age 18 as 18 is the adult age in this country and most other countries. I don't know why not many countries have a minimum age of 18 to adopt a child as 18 is an adult at the end of the day and we can do many things at age 18 too like become a police officer, work as a nanny I think, get married, buy cigarettes, alcohol, fireworks and many other things drive most types of vehicles, gamble and vote? I just wish that people would listen to me more and understand what I am saying too.
S.York

Replies

  • sarah31sarah31 Posts: 2Member Listener
    Adopting in the uk is not easy. A family member of mine who’s wife is a college teacher, were turned down because they had no experience with children.
    at 18 you might be old enough to manage a car, a relationship etc but being a parent is hard work nevermind taking on a child who is likely to have extra needs.
    The process of adoption can take years, if the age were to be lowered to 18, then the agencies adopting the children out would be making very light decisions and handing children out within weeks. 
    I was a mum at 18 and I needed a lot of emotional support despite already working full time for 2 years and paying taxes and having been in my relationship for 4 years.its not easy. 
    Adoption usually means taking on a child rather then a baby, and I don’t think anyone under he age of 21 is anywhere near ready even if they think they are, to take on the challenges of adoption.
  • MarkmywordsMarkmywords Posts: 393Member Pioneering
    edited February 22
    It's not the parenting that's difficult, it's the adoption process.
    I looked into it briefly back when I was young. It's two to three years of being put down and indoctrinated. If you stick with it through all that then they might let you try on a probationary basis.
    Social workers work on the principle that you are always unworthy to be a parent unless you pass their tests and requirements.
    The irony that those of them who are natural parents were totally unprepared beforehand completely escapes them.
    Even if it is "successful" they may require the new parent to include the biological parents in the child's life and decision-making.
    A good proportion of matches fail because they are not entirely honest about the damage the children have and they expect the new parents to be amateur social workers.
    If these people had control over natural childbirth then we would become extinct as a species.

    There are wonderful successes but the outcome will be more of a gamble than natural childbirth.
  • zakbloodzakblood Posts: 210Member Pioneering
    i was married at 18, now aged 52 and been seperated for 20 odd years, i'm happy now with my partner of 12 years, but both are now too old for children of our own, had tried to adopt or foster many years ago as a single male, and was told it not so many words you haven't got a cat in hells chance, so never tried again, now with both of us in our 50's, it's something we have both thought of, as one we have the time, i'm disabled, well in the process of MR after failing a ESA, but partner has a 25 years old lad, who no longer lives with us, so space also isn't an issue, but lack of skills on my part maybe the down fall again, so plenty of free time, house is plenty big enough for 2 more, but the hoops you have to go through, are harder than the ESA medical i've just failed for the 2nd time, passed 3 times mind you over 20 years, so in the end and another long wait and huge bill to the tax payers, i'll go back to Tribunal and get it over turned, but still i feel a child would make me more complete, give me something to focus on apart from just us, someone to carefor and bring up, must be better than a carehome imo, but to hard a process for most like been mentioned above, and harder still for anyone like me
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Posts: 1,303Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @zakblood, have you thought about fostering? It can be a good stepping stone into adoption, especially if you've limited experience and a lot of places are desperate for foster carers. I hear it can be challenging, but also very rewarding.
    If you're still into the idea of adoption, there's no upper age limit and a lot of rules have been relaxed.
    Senior Community Officer
    Scope
Sign in or join us to comment.