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Sex with a disabled person

RANDY1RANDY1 Posts: 10Member Listener
Good morning people,Please can i ask why lots of woman dont want to sleep with a disabled man ?,i am feed up with there selfish woman attitudes towards disabled men i am 50 years old meduim build long hair clean shaven & yes i walk with a stick but i am disabled with m.s.,SO BASICLY NOW THIS HAS HAPPENED MY SEX LIFE IS OVER.

Replies

  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 4,987Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    edited December 2018
    Hi @RANDY1 welcome to the community!

    Sorry to hear this, have you checked out our sex and disability section?
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • WaylayWaylay Posts: 837Member Pioneering
    A lot of men don't want to sleep with a disabled woman, either.

    I'd move away from the "selfish" language, though. You're not entitled to sex, so nobody is being selfish by not having sex with you. That attitude repels women really fast.
  • RANDY1RANDY1 Posts: 10Member Listener
    Hey,some woman are selfish because they don't want to know about sex with a disabled maI AM NOT SAYING & I HAVE NEVER SAID THAT MEN ARE INTITED TO SEX I AM TALKING ABOUT MY LIFE & MY EXPERANCES
  • RANDY1RANDY1 Posts: 10Member Listener
    Hey,I am sorry but i refuse to be told what to do ( in a message that was sent to me ) sorry again
  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 7,361Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @RANDY1
    I think there are a lot of social issues around sex and disability, the way that disabled people are portrayed in the media tends not to be as a sexual being.

    Im sorry to hear you have had issues, but there are a lot of people who do not judge others based on the impairment, it's just about finding those people.
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • RANDY1RANDY1 Posts: 10Member Listener
  • RANDY1RANDY1 Posts: 10Member Listener
    If i have to live & suffer this m.s. & everything that gose with it - oh great but i dont think its very nice that every woman that i know or that crosses my path has to be selfish even woman @ the m.s. club,what has happened to people that want to be nice to each other.I didnt ask for this life all i wish is that idoit that people call god give it to some one who is in prison so i can go back to work & get a girl friend again because no woman on this earth wishes to sleep with a disabled man.HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERY BODY
  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 7,361Administrator Scope community team
    I respectfully disagree @RANDY1 - lots of people don't care one way or another if their partner is disabled.  

    Sometimes when we are feeling angry or upset, we can project those feelings onto others and this could come across as a bad attitude.  Now, Im not suggesting this is the case with you as I don't know you but I always think that in general, if you can put a happy and positive perspective out into the world, that you then meet happy and positive people.

    It is worth saying though that it is not selfish of a woman to not want to be intimate with you, every person has the right to choose who they are with.

    Best of luck to you 
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,245Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    We all have different needs, friendship and support are more important than physical intimacy but I wish you well in your search for love in the coming year
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • RANDY1RANDY1 Posts: 10Member Listener
    Your a 
    Woman so this is the kind of thing that i espect
  • james4james4 Posts: 9Member Listener
    Hi Randy
    I am going against popular opinion yes most women do not want to know even my wife won't have sex with me i am weak, skinny and she no longer finds me attractive and even suggested i go elsewhere to have it so went on dating site and had no REAL interests, i know now i will never have sex again if i had someone it would make me want to carry on but as it stands i'm just ticking the days off waiting to die i have mnd
  • Deb_ScopeDeb_Scope Posts: 152Administrator Scope community team
    edited December 2018
    @RANDY1 I am sorry that you are feeling so upset with your relationship situation.  Our community is a place to help and support everyone, and is not ever gender focused.  Your comment to @Sam_Scope is not necessary, as she was merely offering an opinion and trying to provide support to you.  Please do not direct negative comments directly.  If you need a reminder of our community rules you can read them here https://blog.scope.org.uk/house-rules/

    Debbie
    Online Community Manager
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 4,987Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    I was worried when I became disabled that my partner would not find me attractive anymore and that we wouldn't have sex anymore. Sex is not important to us, love and intimacy is. 

    Fortunately, my partner still loves me for the person I am. He will even admit he struggled at one point because all he could see was my disability and not me. Yes it broke my heart but he needed time to adjust just as much as I did.

    Not everyone is the same, there is someone out there. Dont look for love, let love find you.
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • RANDY1RANDY1 Posts: 10Member Listener
    Well you both must have a good relationship i am single male & is allot different because plenty of woman have abused me & be nasty & call me names because all the woman that i have come accross so far have been very nasty to me because they all they want is a man to give them a good seeing to & if you are disabled then you are not up to the job,this is why most woman are very much selfish & the world would be a better place without them
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,245Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Relationships are seldom built on physical intimacy. Respect, understanding and friendship are by far a better starting point.
    I don't think that it is the women that are selfish,  is there a reason why they have abused you, called you names and been nasty to you
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • RANDY1RANDY1 Posts: 10Member Listener
    Carnt you read they have done it because i am disabed
  • RANDY1RANDY1 Posts: 10Member Listener
    Carnt you read they have done it because i am disabed
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,245Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry @RANDY1 I don't think there is anything I can do to assist you but I do wish you all the best for the new year
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • martinsmartins Posts: 30Member Connected
    Sorry to hear what you have been through but not all women are the same. 
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 4,987Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Totally agree with you @CockneyRebel I actually hated my partner way before we became a couple, we started off as friends and it blossomed.

    @RANDY1 I understand that from past experience this would cause you to think this way but I can assure you we are not all the same.
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • james4james4 Posts: 9Member Listener
    As a man , having that role of provider, father and handy man of your family when they are taken away can't work, can't play with kids , can't do anything in the house at all and the only thing that you still can do the women don't wan't not from you anyway then yes it is a big thing
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,336Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @RANDY1 ; Thank you for sharing with the community . The problems you seem to be having.

    One of the problems is that all relationships are not all based on Sex and you need to understand that. Also many ladies who may like the following qualities in  a man.

    Being supportive, kind, loving thinking how best to be a partner a friend someone to confide in to.

    Trust and respect.  Being honest and open. Regardless of having a disability or not.

    One thing I did and have learnt is to have abroad range of lifestyle and social education knowledge.  

    Not all about looks.

    I would advise first start to concentrate and making and forming friendships. Have a range of activities that you do meet other people.

    Through other people never know where or what happens.

    Maybe to change the attitudes that you have, start to seek some help.

    Understand  have concerns.  You have this disability. You need maybe to find and be honest with your self, have acceptance.

    Through acceptance things can change. 

    Wish you well and hope and pray you find your soul less troubled.  In the new year.

    @thespiceman

  • Becky270Becky270 Posts: 5Member Connected
    @RANDY1

    Sorry to hear you've had some negative experiences. However, I would urge you not to have that attitude towards women. Also, maybe lose some of the focus on sex? Most women probably want to build a relationship and trust before sleeping with someone, and I think that's perfectly reasonable. What a woman chooses to do with her own body is her business. And if you see women not wanting to have sex with you as selfish, I think that maybe that your demeanour and that view isn't helping. Women are allowed to be selfish when it comes to who they have sex with. Women do not have to be selfless and do anything that they don't want to do. 

    With regards to the disability... I am an 'able-bodied' person, and I am in a relationship with a wheelchair user. We met in April last year and are now living together. My partner is a kind, funny, honest, genuine and hardworking person- all of that makes his disability irrelevant to me. 

    Maybe it would help if you sought some counselling? I understand that your opinions have been formed based on your personal experiences, but I think before you look for a relationship, it would be beneficial to change your attitude towards women? And just to show that not all women wouldn't want to be with someone who has a disability... take a look at my blog. https://headoverwheelsx.com

    Good luck, I hope things change for you.

    Becky

  • RANDY1RANDY1 Posts: 10Member Listener
    Hey,Ive said nothing wrong toward woman i just tell the truth,if you dont like that its not my problam.
  • Faybe_girlFaybe_girl Posts: 1Member Connected
    edited July 17
    RANDY1 said:
    Hey,Ive said nothing wrong toward woman i just tell the truth,if you dont like that its not my problam.
    Hi @RANDY1 my name is Faye. I found this thread looking for ways to make sex easier for my boyfriend. He was crippled in an accident at work that snapped his spinal cord. He is paralysed below the waist.
    I loved him 6 years ago and I still love him today.
    Its bee  hard.
    He has struggled with depression and addiction but sex has never been a turning point in our relationship.
    I feel personally that the type of relationship you want to have with women isnt based on love and caring, but from reading these comments, a sexual one.
    You dismiss any woman who speaks contrary to your statement and wish only to validate your opinions on the 'bad, selfish women'. 
    Just like men - some are ****. But not all of us are.
    If sex is that big a deal for you then hire a prostitute because from youre attitude I can tell this forum will not help.
    Love and light my friend x
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Posts: 1,999Administrator Scope community team
    Thanks for chiming in and sharing @Faybe_girl. I hope you'll stick around on our community. :smile:

    Senior Community Officer
    Scope
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