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any point to a formal assessment of cptsd?
Hello everyone, well in a nutshell ( after hours of research) I think i have complex PTSD. This stems from abuse/ neglect as a child so I have reoccurring flashbacks there. i left home asap straight into an abusive relationship for 18 years. I only discovered its abusive a few years ago. I was sexually abused for all of that time as well as mental abuse, one flashbac/ experience is so hideous i couldnt ever tell anyone, financial abuse etc etc. Then i left that relationship with flashbacks there. finally I went into another 14 month relationship where I suffered extreme mental abuse, One physical encounter where I was assaulted and I was told Im going to die. SO you guessed it, more flashbacks...and now ive had triggers one at work which lead to a panic attack and the second panic attack was huge, i thought i was going to collapse, I couldnt get out of the shower as I was frozen to the spot. That was about a month ago and since then Ive had flashbacks many times every day ( approx 20-30), I think my parents are going to die every day and I am positive I wont live much longer, not by my hand, I mean out of my control. I have other smptoms but dont want to waffle. Thing is I havent told anyone, it seems theres no point as NHS services are not good unless you have 6 sessions with a trainee therapist who has no idea of CPTSD. Writing this I have no emotion which is typical, I have no memory of my children from birth to now really. My minds blocked out most of my memories which is sad really, all those lovely moments with the children. SO after all that waffle my question is- is there any point in starting the ball rolling to get help as theres no help out there? sorry for the long waffle but its hard to write my history in a paragraph!