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Feeling lonely and in constant pain

jennyfudgejennyfudge Member Posts: 1 Listener
edited February 2019 in Ask a chronic pain adviser
I cant remember a time when i wasnt ill. I am 39 but am alone. I have my family around me but i feel lonely. I have many conditions that leave me in pain but i have lived with them my whole life so feel ready to vope with those even though they hurt. I was in hospital for christmas with bronchitis and the flu then at new year was told i had multiple broken ribs... this week have been told ive broke  4 more ribs and diognosed with osteoperosis... i havent had a partner in 8 years and my dreams have seem to flown away. I am the most happiest person in the world and always loomed after others before ny self. Now i wake every day screaming out in pain. I  want ro talk and meet peolle but cant even leave my front door... where do i go from here? P.s hi all :) x

Replies

  • Adam_ScopeAdam_Scope Member Posts: 164 Pioneering

    Hi @Jennyfudge

    Welcome.

    You are among friends here who are always here for a chat and are ready to support you. I understand that living with pain can be very frustrating.

    You may be interested in our Chronic pain discussions  where you may find tips on coping and people with similar experiences.

    I hope this helps!


  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Member Posts: 7,732 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @jennyfudge
    Welcome to the community, I am so glad you have reached out to us. We have so many members living with chronic pain and lifelong conditions who can understand the difficulties of living with these impairments.
    I have a chronic illness and I certainly understand how it can drag you down when the pain feel relentless.

    Can I ask, when you say you cant leave your front door, is that due to the physical restrictions of your illness or more a social anxiety or mental health reason?

    There are lots of groups that may be able to offer support, both in real life and online, if we can find out a little more I hope we can signpost you to some.

    I also wonder if there is more that can be done for you to help you deal with the pain? Have you seen a Pain Clinic?

    If you find you're having difficulty managing your pain, you can ask your GP for a referral to a specialist pain clinic.

    Pain clinics offer a wide range of treatments and support. They aim to support you in developing self-help skills to control and relieve your pain.

    Treatments may include:

    • medication
    • pain-relief injections
    • manual therapy
    • exercise
    • TENS machines
    • complementary therapy
    • psychological therapy

    Some people receiving treatment at a pain clinic may be offered a pain-management programme (PMP).

    The aim of a PMP is to improve your quality of life, despite your pain, rather than reducing your pain.

    PMPs are usually delivered through a series of group sessions with other people with persistent pain, in a friendly environment.

    The sessions may include:

    • gentle exercise
    • relaxation and mindfulness
    • how to manage emotions related to long-term pain
    • group discussion
    • learning to pace yourself  to avoid pain flare-ups
    I hope this helps, but above all else, you are in a friendly and welcoming community here and I hope you can have a look around and get involved in some of the other posts and meet some of our members.

    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @jennyfudge   Pleased to meet you .

    Thank you for sharing and sorry that your lonely.

    Please may I say you have come to the right place.  We are here to support you and help you.

    I know this is difficult and not easy to deal with what your going through. There will be members of our community who can identify what you going through.

    I am one of the team of community champions who guide, advise and help new members who join.

    We as a community do understand and we are here to listen.

    One aspect of any condition or illness is finding the right support and help.

    No one likes to hear your in pain.  Have you spoken to your Doctor how are they supporting you. ?  Sometimes by discussing how you are.  The Doctor can access some signposting to help you.

    I have the contact details of The National Osteoporosis Society.

    Helpline 0808 800 0035

    Would that help if you rang them and see what, support they can provide for you.  In your area where you live.

    May I add have also a look on our website. Anything you need or advise on. Some one will be in touch.  Other members who you can relate to.

    I am always here if you wish to have a chat or just talk anytime.

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • RoddyRoddy Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    Hi Jennyfudge… Even though there are no magic wands, being amongst 'unknown' friends can at times be a good listening and understanding ear. In the short time that I joined I have received much welcoming advice which I can relate to my own specific needs/problems. I am sure that given time, you will look back on how you feel 'today' with a well deserved and better tomorrow. After all, you're not in hospital anymore and so that's at least one move in the right direction if only for the time being... Pain Management is not an area that I could advise you with, but I'm 100% certain that your answer will be met on here in terms of how best to address it... Take Care, Roddy x  
  • ClaireSaulClaireSaul Volunteer community adviser Posts: 92 Pioneering
    Hi @jennyfudge
    It is great that you have felt able to reach out here, although I am sorry that you are in so much pain and feeling isolated.  Many people don't realise just how isolating living with chronic pain can be - you might be surrounded by supportive family and friends but no one can quite understand unles they live with it (in my own experience).
    I can see that Sam has already given you lots of advice - I personally found a pain management programme very beneficial, mainly as this was where I met others in pain who immediately understood me.  I would encourage you to discuss referral to a pain team with your GP - in a previous life I was a pain/symptom control nurse and there are people out there with the skills to assist you.
    The spice Man has also given some great advice, so I don't want to flood you, but please let us know if there is anything else we can help with....or if you just wish to chat.
    Claire
    Claire Saul
    Chronic Pain Advisor
    Scope
    [email protected]
    scope.org.uk
  • StevefellowStevefellow Member Posts: 6 Listener
    Only just joined this group makes me realise that I am not alone in suffering with chronic pain .not as that helps anyone I know. I myself have been going through the longest fibro flare up l have ever had my symptoms are to long to list main focus being my lower back and digestion .recently been put on fentanyl patches did help a bit trouble is as always there is always a trade off after a couple of days they completely  block you up and no amount of laxatives seems to shift it.suppose we have to hope it will get better. 
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