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Missing the feeling of community

SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
edited March 4 in Coffee lounge
Hi guys....I have just joined , I have just noticed this site on Facebook.  I love my community ( a small village I was born and still stay in after 64 years ) although I would not call it a small village nowadays as there are so many new houses built in the surrounding fields .( making our village 6 or 7 times larger than it was)  The feeling of a close community where everybody knew everybody else , alas, has left this  (small / large) village . Very few from the new houses seem to have time for a chat ...or even a " good morning " ...I used to nod and smile at strangers in the village but I was mostly met by blank looks ...an odd one or two would nod back on passing ...but I gave up trying .
It used to take me an hour or more to walk along through the village ( which could be done in three minutes ) but when we were a " community" everyone would stop for a chat ...maybe us younger ones ...and the not so young....would see what older person was needing a hedge cut or grass cut . I loved to volunteer for jobs in the community . Although I must admit to not being able to do so these days ( through illness and age) ...I used to get a buzz out of helping others ....I miss that 😥 ....oh ...roll on the summer .
Seanchai 

Replies

  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    Maybe I should have mentioned about my name .... "Seanchai "..pronounced Shan-a-key.
    A seanchai is from the gaeilge for a man who used to roam from village to village carrying all the latest news ...and he would maybe sing a song for a bit of entertainment for the villagers ...if he got a penny or two for his work he would be happy ...or even a meal at someones table would suffice ....and then move on to the next village . Talking was never a problem for me but I cannot hear anything bar loud Tinnitus these days I,m afraid .Good health to all ....slan..seanchai.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,533Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Seanchai   Pleased to meet you welcome.

    Thank you for joining and sharing. Very informative and interesting post.

    I can identify what you are saying. Live in a village now no one talks .

    Not a community. Understand everything. All I can say we are a community here please free to chat, discuss anything.

    I am one of the team of community champions who guide, advise and support new members who join.

    I use this forum every day be happy to talk to you. I am always here. As I do most days spend a lot of time just being a supportive community member.

    Also use this forum to help my self and my wellbeing.

    Hope that helps you please ask if we can help and advise on anything.

    Pleasure to meet you.

    Take care.

    @thespiceman
  • steve51steve51 Posts: 5,776Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @sean

    Good Afternoon my friend it’s great to meet you today 🙏

    I am also one of the “Community Champion’s”

    We are all here to help/assist any new members🙏🙏

    Please please have a good look 👀 around & please let me know if there’s anything that I can help you with ??

    @steve51 ;
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    Thanks Steve...much appreciated my friend .  :)
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    Thanks Spiceman ....I appreciate the welcome from you guys .
  • mini1mini1 Posts: 13Member Connected
    Hi yes it’s funny how things and people have changed I once owned a static caravan for many years everyone was nice and friendly on the site,  I’ve been in this property for 12 years everyone keeps them self to them selfs like you lucky to get a hello, We went to Ireland last year people so different over their so friendly and nice would go out they way to help you, people would stop and ask if we needed help quite a few times we got a bit lost but honestly it’s the most friendly place I’ve ever been to,  the only bad bit was our cottage was very haunted indeed, but that’s another story at some point, all the best Paul...
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    Hi Paul ....yes indeed. I used to go over to Ireland three or four times a year . So very friendly and welcoming ( a bit like this group) ...I used to be a member of the Scottish paranormal . I have met a few spirits over the years .( I like to call them spirits as opposed to 'ghosts' ...they do not like being called ghost either....I look forward to reading your story of the haunted cottage Paul
  • mini1mini1 Posts: 13Member Connected
    Hi again yes I agree, honestly theses things in around the cottage were proper evil If not the devil it self,  I’ve have came across some lovely spirits in my life time, But nothing on this  scale, these things we’re chanting ever night you could feel them every where  these things tried to get into my daughter and wife, proper evil. ...Paul.... 
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    I quite believe you Paul ....any area that is haunted by spirits should be cleansed ....and the area should be cleansed ...and the people going into and back out that area should be cleansed as well . Spirits can attach themselves to humans ( or other living creatures ) ..Years ago we visited an old ruined abbey , we done our usual cleansing but I could not concentrate on the cleansing at all ...something was interrupting my train of thought ....there was four of us that night with all our equipment...we found nothing unusual but a couple of us were rather upset (tear filled eyes and emotionall j(ust feeling so sad) ..which is not unusual in somewhere that's haunted  ...not long after our visit I started going deaf in my right ear.  ...and tinnitus took the place of my hearing ...I have now ( after 16 years of deafness and loud tinnitus in my right ear,).. went deaf in my left ear ....i now hear monks or brothers chanting in my left ear ( the doctors will tell anyone with tinnitus that any sounds they hear is from the brain and not the hearing system )...I pray that this will stop ( the chanting is usually at night after a stressful day) ....which is more days than not , trying keep focused on daily life without hearing (apart from loud tinnitus in my ear)  ..the doctors told me chanting or voices is very uncommon in tinnitus sufferers...it normally just sounds ...although some doctors have heard  that voices can be heard in a few sufferers ( my right ear is constantly loud like a jet engine just before take off ) but the chanting is like Sean Nos Male singers and did not start until I went deaf in my left ear last year  ....if you are Irish or been to Ireland a lot you will probably know what Sean Nos singing sounds like .... it is also a form of singing without music also sung in in the Scottish islands....it can be most unnerving to say the least .
    I take it you never went back to that cottage again ...I would advise staying well away Paul .
  • mini1mini1 Posts: 13Member Connected
    Hi, we would never go back wife had nightmares for weeks,  at some point I will tell you the full story, I did take some pictures of outside the property with something strange on one, ( the spirit s that I have seen in the past happen if some thing bad is going to accur (like a warning) ever since I was a child) usely family related. Yes I know how bad tinnitus is not nice at all, one of my friends have it not as bad as yours I told him to play soft music at night to kill the silence within the room, he said it did help him to sleep....Paul... 
  • mini1mini1 Posts: 13Member Connected
    I no this sounds daft but they was one good spirit they’re.  that I strongly believe was trying to warn us and help and now looking back that one spirit  did. ...Paul...
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,246Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Seanchai and welcome

    I wonder if you would open a thread in the coffee lounge area and tell us more about your experiance of dealing with spirits. Many people have no idea or at best misconceptions about the paranormal


    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • mini1mini1 Posts: 13Member Connected
    Seanchai you ok ..Paul... 
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    Hi Paul ...yep , I,m fine now ( well ...as fine as I am ever going to be ) ...last week was taken up by a lovely fella from the sensory centre ...of course he was not here all week 🙄🙂..but had a few commitments on as well . The fella from the council has helped me so much in the last week with my hearing ( or maybe it would be more precise to say " my not hearing problems " ...short story ...I have had severe tinnitus in my right , it started ear 16 years ago ...but it stole my hearing in that ear and replaced it with the sound of a jet engine just before , I have what is called a " masker" for that ear ....looks like a hearing aid but is meant to pick up some/any sound that negates my tinnitus . I have a hearing aid for my left ear and I have/ had 20 % hearing in my left ear ....and I could hear someone speak as long as there was no background noise . ..alas , lat summer at the height of the summer ( the summer that everybody was enjoying) I went completely deaf in my left ear ...even wearing my hearing aid ....not a sound . I went to the doc ( with my wife so I could explain my sudden hearing loss in my only half decent ear .I must admit it was frightening but I am getting ...well...not " used to it but more accepting that I will never hear again . The doctor said he was putting me in for an emergency scan as he had never saw anyone lose total hearing so quickly ...after specialists and scans they decided there was jo underlying problem ...apart from tinnitus and menieres...... sorry guys , a rather long short story.  A fella came out from the council two weeks ago and brough a device ( a loop and amplifier ) that goes into my TV...for the first time for ages I heard the TV ( I appreciated the subtitles but they are rather draining at times trying to follow the text on the news ...or "  the chase " as it gives the answer as well as the questions on the same page hahahaha...anyway this device allowed me to listen to the TV ( after I got the loop added to my new hearing aid. ) ...I could not thank the fella enough ....i had been told by the " experts" that it was my brain that was faulty and not my hearing .( The loop system proved it is my hearing to blame and not my brai I was over the moon that I could hear the TV for the first time since last year ...well...last week the fella came back with another couple of devices to try , he connected a microphone to the loop system and I could hear my wife's voice for the first time since last year ....o was so happy o tried not to cry when the fella was in....but I,m sure you can imagine just how happy I am hearing my wife , and being able to hear my kids and grandkids talking to me .....but the fella ( Richard) was not finished there ...he had a conversation with me when I first met him and he asked what hobbies I had ...I love my garden ...and I used to use shortwave radio and a scanner to listen to airoplanes coming in to the local airport , I could also hear the control tower with my scanner and I had it connected up with a computer to give me radar.  Well ....Richard asked me to "try this with your Samsung tablet  " ...I plugged it into the tablet and put a personal loop around my neck .....my God,  I could hear the people chatting on you tube etc.....all that in the space of a week was a bit overwhelming ....I am so grateful for Richard setting all this up ....I was overwhelmed and I could never thank that man enough ....he said he was just glad to help .....I was lost for words ...and that's not like me ....thank you Richard so much , I cannot thank you enough , I can now listen to my scanners again and my short wave and listen to the tv ...so I hope you all understand why I was not on community scope ...of course I had to reset my scanners and computers . ....thank God it's not my brain ...the scan proved there were no growths etc ...so that was grand news ...but at times I was wishing I was not here ...my eversuffereing wife trying to repeat herself to no avail ....and not being able to hear the grandchildren was a heavy load to bare ...but I am back now and I thank anyone especially Paul who wondered if I was ok ...webwerenchatting about spirits Paul....and I could not tell the doctors that it was a spirit that set off my tinnitus one night in an old ruined house not far from here  ...I would probably been locked up . If you have read this far Paul , I would just like to say that I hear Sean nos voices ( maybe I have mentioned it before paul) its a bit like monks chanting / singing in an abby  .It seems most prevalent at night after a stressful day ...but it can hit me at any time .it might or maybe not get anything to do with my past of going around old churches abbey or old houses . ...take care Paul....and thank,you for thinking about me over the last two weeks or so ....I will get banned off this site for going on and on .....but it's just how I am . ...God bless all ...i,m away and checkmsome,othernposts,inmthe community ...its so big with so many wings etc ....but,I likenthenidea pogba community that can help others, that's what drew me to this community ...I ended up here by mistake to be honest but once I read a fewnpostsmi was kind hooked to see  people helping other people with their problems ...take care and God bless ...and if anyone has any questions for me then fire ahead.I will help anyone ,if I can , its just my nature  and i always enjoy helping others looking for answers.
    I,m no expert at anything really but I have a life full of " life lessons " 🤔🙂👍
  • gaz1960gaz1960 Posts: 41Member Courageous
    Seanchai said:
    Hi guys....I have just joined , I have just noticed this site on Facebook.  I love my community ( a small village I was born and still stay in after 64 years ) although I would not call it a small village nowadays as there are so many new houses built in the surrounding fields .( making our village 6 or 7 times larger than it was)  The feeling of a close community where everybody knew everybody else , alas, has left this  (small / large) village . Very few from the new houses seem to have time for a chat ...or even a " good morning " ...I used to nod and smile at strangers in the village but I was mostly met by blank looks ...an odd one or two would nod back on passing ...but I gave up trying .
    It used to take me an hour or more to walk along through the village ( which could be done in three minutes ) but when we were a " community" everyone would stop for a chat ...maybe us younger ones ...and the not so young....would see what older person was needing a hedge cut or grass cut . I loved to volunteer for jobs in the community . Although I must admit to not being able to do so these days ( through illness and age) ...I used to get a buzz out of helping others ....I miss that 😥 ....oh ...roll on the summer .
    Seanchai 
    I've moved to a village not far from where I was before,and there's no community feeling at all. Everybody keeps themselves to themselves.  Gone are the days of the milk not taken in off the doorstep or the newspaper  still in the letterbox,and someone would notice and go and check to see if the person there was ok. 
    There must the a lot of people sitting behind closed doors looking at computer screens and looking for friends or penfriends and never actually getting to talk face to face with people day to day. Not just disabled people but people in general. 
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    Yep...its a shame Gaz...as you say , there must be many sitting on their own and wishing they had someone to chat to  ...people in the new houses in our village want to keep themselves to themselves . That is ok if that's what they want ....but not what I was used to in the village. The daft things is they called all the new houses the same as my old terrace....but various thing like " way" "wynd" "crescent" etc and some of our mail goes to the new addresses ( I have had various important mail go " missing" such as hospital appointments etc ) ...even though the postcode is different ...pizza deliveries etc come to our house as well . Last year one day , I lifted the post ( mostly junk mail ) ...I opened each one and put it in the round file ( the bin) ...after opening about four or five more junk letters ..i opened another , it was a card  with a  £20 note inside it ....saying " happy birthday "....love from grandma...I felt terrible opening the envelope , it had my address though ( I must admit that I only checked the address after I had opened it and it was the wrong surname ) I said to my wife that would take the  the dog a walk around to the new houses and see what I could find out . I got to the same number as myself ....but it it was crescent... I saw all the birthday cards in the window  and as I approached the door I saw a small plaque with their surname on it ....so I knew it was the right house . I chapped the door and a fella in his 40's I would say ...opened the door and I said " Hi, this card came through my door ,even though  it had your name on it , it had my address ...I opened it before I noticed the name on the front of it ....I think this is meant for your son , I am sorry I opened it and there is a £20 note in it ....he grabbed it out my hand and slammed the door . Not a word from him ...not even a nod . If I get letters now I always check them , and if it has their name on it , I just put " Not at this address " ....and I pop it back in the post box at the end of the street . It would be no problem to walk round and post it through their door , but I am not used to being treated in such a way as I was treated that day . 🙄🤨 Sad that it's a world of " man mind thyself " .😟
  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Posts: 2,804Member Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome and I enjoyed your post. Similar to where I live in terms of going from small to large village. Nowadays folks do not seem to be community minded but we do have some community groups bringing folks together in a way like they used to do in days gone by as neighbours and friends. I recently had a conversation with a neighbour upstairs in my close because of a water leak 2 years she has lived there! Wow


    I am a fibrowarrior!
  • KittyTinkerKittyTinker Posts: 51Member Pioneering
    Hi Seanchi we live in a small market town which I would say a couple of years ago was similar to your experience however recently things have improved and the only difference I can put my finger on is changes to the local council. Instead of the same old faces being voted in again and again a few community spirited candidates were voted in. Now there are regular litter picks, weekly park run a sensory garden with full disability access  is about to be created as well as a pump track. My son is also involved in starting a youth council. 
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    Hi guys ....I am sorry , I thought I replied to the posts ...I thought I had replied to you Kitty ...so sorry.  I sometimes write posts or a post to someone in particular after I take my night medication ...bad thing to do as my medication hits me all at once and that's me out for a few hours .
    I used to volunteer to help others not so able in the village Kitty...i loved being able to help others , and the biggest buzz i got was from helping others.  I would love to be able to start various groups in the parish that have died off over the years ...but alas I am neither physically or mentally able to do so now . The parish cannot even manage to get volunteers to cut the grass in the church ...over 1000 parishioners and no young fellas to do the grass and hedges ....I used to cut the 200 metres of hedges with garden shears until the PP bought me a hedge trimmer ...it felt like i was in heaven using petrol trimmers instead of doing it all by hand . ( it also gave me tennis elbow into the bargain using those shears for,years .🙂🤨One fella who helps out in the parish ( he cannot be far of 90 years old ) stopped helping ...but he is back again working away cutting grass etc .... puts these young abled men of the parish to shame . I wish I could help again .The biggestntgrill I ever got from helping others ....Who remembers the butter and cheese mountains and the lake of milk . ...the government was asking groups to give a hand to hand out a 2 litre of milk and 2 lb of cheese and 2 pounds of butter to everyone who could produce a pension book or child benefit book ....we tried to stick to the rules...we could not stamp their books but they just handed them over and got them back with ...but some people were going around the distribution centres with Van's and filling the Van's with milk, butter and cheese and the people coming from the village were given a carton of milk , block of cheese and a pound of butter......before long the butter that was given free to the poorer in the community were was being sold on ice cream Van's and mobile shops ....turned out tgentravelling people had went to various food stations and collected food for 14 children and six adults ....but it turned out they were going around all the stations that were giving it out and there was nothing we could do . ...even charity was getting abused ..
  • GettinOldeGettinOlde Posts: 495Member Pioneering
    Seanchai said:
    Maybe I should have mentioned about my name .... "Seanchai "..pronounced Shan-a-key.
    A seanchai is from the gaeilge for a man who used to roam from village to village carrying all the latest news ...and he would maybe sing a song for a bit of entertainment for the villagers ...if he got a penny or two for his work he would be happy ...or even a meal at someones table would suffice ....and then move on to the next village . Talking was never a problem for me but I cannot hear anything bar loud Tinnitus these days I,m afraid .Good health to all ....slan..seanchai.
    'Seanchai', similar to 'Bodman', a family name on my mother's side found predominantly in Wiltshire.
    English: from Old English boda ‘messenger’ or (ge)bod ‘message’ + mann ‘man’, ‘servant’, hence an occupational name denoting a messenger or the servant of a messenger. German: variant of Bodemann, a habitational name from Boden near Uelzen, or from the Bode river in the Harz Mountains. Jewish (from Belarus): occupational name for the keeper of a bathhouse, from Yiddish bod ‘bathhouse’ + man ‘man’.


    Resident joker - not to be taken too seriously ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    I love the various languages ....I also love the accents used in various countries and areas of countries  . I can go ten miles in any direction from my village and the accents change . 
  • KittyTinkerKittyTinker Posts: 51Member Pioneering
    Hi Seanchai I must agree that in my community it does seem that it’s still the older members who do the majority of the volunteering mainly retired healthy people. Our local library is now run by volunteers charity shops and cycling club etc. It does make you wonder now that the retirement age has been increased whether anyone will be fit enough to do such things on retirement.
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    Yep Kitty ...my wife was a prolific volunteer all her life and prepared for her retirement by seeing what else she could do to help in the community...alas, she missed her retirement by three weeks ...the government changed women's retirement from 60 to 65 ....she was 65 in June but does not get her pension until January ...Nobody can tell us why that is the case and all we get told is " that's the rules " 🙄. I read an article in a magazine that very few people can explain these " rules" ...but...the money saved by not paying out pensions to women and men is going to prop up the MP's pensions . I,m not sure if that's true ...but...knowing this government and knowing the greed of MP,s I can quite believe it ( I am 64 years 6 months and I do not get my pension until 66 because of the new rules ) We just seem to moan amongst ourselves and accept whatever the government tells us . Right now , I await my face to face assessment for PIP ( even though I was given indefinite disability ...alas , from what I read I am not holding out much hope of a good outcome 🙄
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,533Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @KittyTinker   Pleased to meet you.  Regarding the volunteers being of an age to manage everything.

    This is something I know myself as a long time doing volunteering. Have stopped for several reasons.

    First one is the volunteering most of it is now a job not at all pleasurable.  In my young days loved what I was doing.

    Something wrong when your volunteering and replacing a possible staff member . This has happened. Many times usually offices and doing some one else's role.

    Have extensive admin qualifications experience. Got to thinking when they say to you at interview be from 8.30 to 3pm every day.  Or be part time like you to come in from 9am to and finish around 3pm.

    In fact was around 4pm or later use you.  Feel the need to say hang on only a volunteer.

    Second it is the problems around the DWP. Do not know this but if you know.

    There has to be some clarification what we very much can be doing volunteering.  How many hours and times how long. I used to ask at interviews.

    Then there is the expenses issues. One garden centre I volunteered for paid you per mile per day.  What ever the weathers.

    Then they sort of persuade you to come in and you say well maybe. If you do get expenses. 

    Then when you arrive find the real reason need some one a volunteer tidy up the place not be a gardener but help out.

    This has happened in resource centres and have decided had enough.

    Cost not a lot you see.  Why pay a wage got a volunteer.

    Remember I am disabled and many of us are.

    Talking of expenses another one was this man who was a volunteer sort of coordinator.  Met him first day. Sitting on his bum and getting the credit for everything.

    All he did was order us ladies and gents who of a certain age youngest was me . I was around 53.  At the time.

    Did diddly squat came in got his expenses. Even sent me a text being can you go to this garden centre pick up some thing.

    He lived near by.  I lived about twenty miles away.  Once rang me in the cold weather me trapped in my home are you coming in.

    No trapped in my home, cut me off end of chat.

    Never understand the high turn over of volunteers this Team Manager asked me one day .

    Could not understand it he enquired. I was not actually going to tell him the truth.  I am honest and open a Christian heart.

    Hated this. I just did not know what to do.  Every time I think about the dishonesty from some people who volunteer.

    Still smarts, hurts those that abuse the power. Long memories.

    Main thing this the volunteer role for me.  Being on SCOPE forum as a community champions

    I stopped another reason was the attitude and demeanour of the DWP.

    Who had this sense of purpose if you volunteer and can do that . Then you can work.  Trust me seen that at any of a number of assessments.

    Understand this any signs of coping with my disability zero points.  All I am doing was a bit of gardening but they do not see it like that.

    Trying to help myself mentally and yet it is becoming a struggle .

    Got asked about  this one . What do you do all day. Mentioned this.

    All went quiet on that one. So I guess they know the assessors all about SCOPE.

    Take care.

    @thespiceman








  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 4,533Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Seanchai ; Thank you for your post.

    Wish you well for your assessment. Is there anything I can be supportive with?

    Hope every thing works out.

    Always here if you need to know anything. I can answer if I can.

    Your friend

    @thespiceman
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    Hi Spiceman....I have had a few good pointers on this site thanks ....I suppose it's one of those things that you can prepare for but I will not know until I have experienced it. I will let you know when I get word , I await with intrepidation 🤔🤨
    Thank you very much 👍
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Posts: 87Member Pioneering
    edited August 11
    Hi Spiceman.....I just read your post again , I am wondering whether to mention to the PIP assessors if I love my garden and it keeps me sane, they will see my garden is neat and tidy  if i get a home assessment..but any heavy work is done by my sons , plus i have a council contractor cut and edge my lawn every two weeks. I wonder if I should mention that I like doing odds and ends in the garden ...or as I would call it " pottering around" . ...on days I am feeling " not to bad" COPD and Menieres disease...which make me rather dizzy and unsteady on my feet . I was in the greenhouse when I got hit suddenly by an attack of menieres...i headed to the back door but i never made it...i went down and crawled into bed and lay there with my eyes closed for a day ( if i open my eyes the world is spinning around ....and of course that makes me feel sick ) it's like I have drank to much and the ceiling is spinning like a top ....but I don,t drink these days .🤨🙄
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