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Feeling down

Saffy5Saffy5 Posts: 8Member Listener
I have neck and lower back problems I've been off sick for 4 months now and my work have said retire on ill health or they will dismiss on ill health. 
I'm in constant pain I am under a pain clinic I'm getting all the help I can find but the pain is still there it varies all the time, when it's not too bad I feel guilty that I'm off work and when it's bad I feel justified in taking the retirement . I'm so confused anxious upset and depressed. 
Financially it's going to be a real struggle and I worry about the strain that will put on my marriage I've always been the bread winner we will have no income other than my small pension and the small lump sum which I'm hoping to stretch out as long as I can.
I could still try to force work to take me back but they have made it clear they don't want that and the reality is I don't want to go back I was exhausted and struggling to walk crying everyday. I could try to find different work but as we all know pain makes that difficult I can't stand or sit for long periods, i cant lift because of my neck problems 3 surgeries walking can be painful awful at times.
I guess I just need to know someone understands all this I'm so scared of the future

Replies

  • Saffy5Saffy5 Posts: 8Member Listener
    I should say I've had these problems for years and my work have made lots of adjustments but I just can't manage
  • cmxcmx Posts: 2Member Listener
    hello, you have to know that you arnt on your own i have mild cp and worry about the future, at the moment i am still able to work, at 56 i realise that if i loose this job it,s going to be very hard to get another we all have to face up to the fact that we push our body,s to the limit to try and be so called normal, it,s only later you ask yourself was it worth the cost, we are a very proud type of person and asking for help is not an option, im sorry you are in pain but we have to keep our head,s up you must seek help from people tou trust. i wish you nothing but good thing,s
  • Saffy5Saffy5 Posts: 8Member Listener
    Thank you cmx I'm just feeling so low and so lonely 
  • EmmaBEmmaB Posts: 173Member Pioneering
    Hi @Saffy5

    Pain is a horrible thing... I'm reading a really interesting book which has a really good explanation of how pain works, in particular it talks about primary and secondary pain - it's the secondary pain that we can do something about and significantly reduce throuh using mindfulness.  I'd really really recommend reading it, it's only £3.99 if you have a kindle and just under £9 for the paperback - well worth every penny if it can reduce your pain I would have thought...:

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Health-practical-relieving-restoring/dp/074995924X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1552770452&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+health

    I hope you'll give it a go.

    Best wishes.

    Emma

  • GalDriverGalDriver Posts: 46Member Courageous
    Oh Saffy, sweetheart, I feel for you. Pain is the pits and I wish I could give good advice but I struggle with it 24/7 too BUT I would say that once you're medically retired (I am too) the pressure and guilt of feeling you should be at work evaporates. When I first retired, on medical grounds, I went to the Job Centre thinking I'd get a more suitable job. Unless it'd been testing beds I'd have been crap. My partner very kindly pointed out that as I suffered so much pain and massive fatigue (I have secondary progressive multiple sclerosis) that, perhaps, I should give up as gracefully as possible and rest. He was right. The pressure of work goes and that is priceless. BUT, of course, you have to tighten the belt. You will, I think, be entitled to ESA as well as Mobility payments. Go to the Citizen's Advice or similar (we have DIAL here in Peterborough) and ask everything. They are so helpful and you need advice and an understanding/knowledgeable ear. Would you be entitled to a medical pension from work? Again, CAB would give you advice. 

    Regards income you could, maybe, do some lower key thing from home like crafting, if that's your thing, and/or selling on Ebay for example. Like everything in life it's about getting your head around it. Good luck and feel free to ask me anything if I may be able to help, even if it's just as a shoulder, ear or for a laugh <3
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 5,295Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Saffy5 I am sorry to hear you are feeling low, how are you feeling today?
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • Saffy5Saffy5 Posts: 8Member Listener
    Thanks Gal driver it's good to know there are others out there who understand pain and what it does to you.
    I do enjoy crafting so that can be a good distraction a lot of the time but at 57 I feel I should still be working not giving up sometimes I feel there must be a job out there I can do but then the pain flares up and crushes me. My current job is very pressured and my gp has even called it toxic and said she thinks I will improve mentally and physically when I'm out of there I hope so. I just have to get through the next few months of occupational health and pension applications and then the financial side of it that's all up to me and absolutely terrifying.
    Scared, tired and sad 
  • Saffy5Saffy5 Posts: 8Member Listener
    Emma 
    Thank you I will try the book 
  • joannerunderwoodjoannerunderwood Posts: 2Member Listener
    Saffy5 said:
    I have neck and lower back problems I've been off sick for 4 months now and my work have said retire on ill health or they will dismiss on ill health. 
    I'm in constant pain I am under a pain clinic I'm getting all the help I can find but the pain is still there it varies all the time, when it's not too bad I feel guilty that I'm off work and when it's bad I feel justified in taking the retirement . I'm so confused anxious upset and depressed. 
    Financially it's going to be a real struggle and I worry about the strain that will put on my marriage I've always been the bread winner we will have no income other than my small pension and the small lump sum which I'm hoping to stretch out as long as I can.
    I could still try to force work to take me back but they have made it clear they don't want that and the reality is I don't want to go back I was exhausted and struggling to walk crying everyday. I could try to find different work but as we all know pain makes that difficult I can't stand or sit for long periods, i cant lift because of my neck problems 3 surgeries walking can be painful awful at times.
    I guess I just need to know someone understands all this I'm so scared of the future

  • joannerunderwoodjoannerunderwood Posts: 2Member Listener
    Not sure what to say except ur not alone sadly, went through similar myself still struggle with not working and that I will not get better although they say won't get worse???? It's difficult to know who to talk to that's y I came here , it's frustrating dealing with cp it's difficult to understand too xox 
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