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connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
edited April 17 in Mental health issues
My name is Connor. I’m a 23 year old male. I have recently found out that I have ADHD. I also have a history of deliberate self harm and suicide attempts. I also have GAD. There is also a big possibility that I am on the autistic spectrum. I’ve been on psychiatric wards due to suicide attempts. Socially I have always struggled. Looking back on my life it’s become so obvious that I was different. Since I was a small child I have rocked my head. I was bullied relentlessly because of it. I was taken off my mother and rehomed with my grandparents due to her drug habits. Lots of other things have happened in my life. I’ve lost friends to suicide, battled drug addiction. I’ve lost jobs through silly mistakes. I used to hate the way I looked. I love to research things. I figured out how to get my body into good shape and alter my appearance to compensate for what I always thought was a ‘flawed personality’. This worked for a while. I’ve onlt ever had one relationship. I still think about her from time to time and how things may have been different had I known my ailments sooner. I work and support people with autism and challenging behaviour. I care so much about the people I work with, and have always considered myself an advocate for them. I get along better with the people I support than ‘neurotypicals’ and it’s starting to become apparent as to why this is the case. My grandparents fail to understand me and no matter how much I try to educate them it is to no prevail. I find myself reading forums like this daily but this is the first time reaching out. I think about suicide a lot of the time. I’ve tried to further my education by going to college. I had to have a learning coach and had to see the college counsellor on a regular basis. I attempted my a levels twice and an access to biological science course 4 times. The pressure of trying to fit in, mask my social anxiety and keep up with the work load whilst working full time and using drugs such as [removed by moderator]. It all makes sense now as to why I could not do it. I sensed that I had ADHD and I knew full well that I had anxiety issues when it came to socialising. I tried to get a diagnosis through the nhs but it was taking forever. Last October I tried to take my own life. I took a load of aspirin, drank two bottles of wine and had a bath and cut into the arteries on my right arm. The bath filled with blood and I was saved by my grandfather. Fast forward to the present and I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD (privately) and GAD and have been told that I display major traits of autistic spectrum disorder. I’m currently off the drugs (however I do use Xanax to curb suicidal thoughts). I am prescribed Concerta at 54mg a day along with fast release in the evening, 600mg of lyrica, propranolol as and when needed and 45mg of mirtazipine. I’m truly struggling. I know how hard it is for the autistic community as I work in the sector. My emotions are just so intense. I feel so lonely when I’m not at work. I’m reaching out to the crisis team and doing all I can to try to help myself. The feelings of failure, the constant ‘what ifs’, and dealing with finally being diagnosed and opening my eyes as to who I am and why I have acted the way I have throughout my life hurts so much. I still have a glimmer of hope to go university. Seeing the lack of compassion people have for other people in this world is my main driving force. Reflecting on supporting people with more pronounced autism has opened my eyes as to how little people actually care. I’ve always had a strong interest in neurology, anatomy and how the body works. Not being able to pursue higher education is hurting me badly. I feel like my voice isn’t being heard. A lot of the time I spend alone in my bedroom watching things I enjoy or reading about things. I long for companionship, someone who truly gets me. Someone to truly care about me and love me, flaws and all. I’ve had so many dates and stuff enter my life only to leave without explanation. I started to develop feelings for a girl I work with - however I confided in a close female colleague about this. I was told that she “could never be with someone who has what I got”. This truly hurts. I’m in so much pain. I have a faint idea of how life turns out for people on the supposed “high end” of the spectrum - totalled with adhd, an addictive personality and chronic feelings of loneliness (not to mention being terrible with money management, leading me to be in a lot of debt) and a history of self harm/suicide attempts, each day gets harder to endure. I’m constantly looking for a way to fix things or a way out. Looking at statistics, being alone and having a lack of positive human interaction, there’s a great likelihood of me returning to drug addiction. A life doing drugs in a bedroom on your own, knowing how flawed you are is a life I cannot and will not live. I feel myself slowing slipping into a depression, my healthy eating habits are starting to diminish. I’m more isolated than I have ever been before. I don’t know what to do and I don’t expect anyone to have the answers to the questions. Life truly is difficult at this point in time and it’s never been easy.

Replies

  • Antonia_ScopeAntonia_Scope Posts: 1,783Member Pioneering
    Welcome to the community @connoro007 thank you for sharing this with us. Please keep us updated on how it goes with the crisis team. 

    We have some discussions you may want to join autism and aspergers discussions and mental health discussions.

    Please remember that as a member of our community, you are important to us and you might find MIND's information about distracting yourself from the urge to self-harm useful. It's also important that you discuss any thoughts of self-harm with someone who is qualified to help, please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]

    If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.
     If you have any questions, please let us know.

    Kind regards,

    Antonia

     




  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 5,812Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    edited April 16
    Hi @connoro007 welcome to the community! 

    Firstly, if you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please contact the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email [email protected] 

    If you feel that you are at risk, please ring 999 or go to your nearest hospital or A&E

    After reading your post, your qualities shine through. You are a determined and honest young man. You will achieve your dreams. One step at a time.

    I am truly sorry for all that you have been through and honestly your post moved me to tears. I can feel your passion to change in your writing and I know you can do this.

    We can help you, support you, be a friend, it's important to break things down and work at one thing at a time. You will get through this. You're strong!
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    Thanks for those kind words Ami, It’s been a long time since I have heard anything like that. It feels good to hear that and it has reduced me to tears. I’m going to see my GP tomorrow and I’ve also reached out to the integrated autism service. You’re a complete stranger, but to hear you say something like that it gives a lot of faith that there really is some kind people in the world.
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 5,812Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    I'm sorry for making you cry! I'm glad that you're being proactive and let us know how you get on with your GP. I do mean everything I said 100% we are always here :)
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • Antonia_ScopeAntonia_Scope Posts: 1,783Member Pioneering
    Hi @connoro007 as @Ami2301 says we are all here to support you, it takes a lot of courage to open up and we appreciate you sharing this with us. Please keep us updated on how it all goes and if you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask. Best wishes. :)
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    Thank you! It’s hard but I think I’ve come to the right place when it comes to being understood and stuff😊
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 5,812Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    How are you feeling today? :)
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Posts: 4,540Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @connoro007, just popping my head in to say hello and welcome to the community! It must have taken a lot of courage to open up like that and to echo @Ami2301 and Antonia, we are all here to support you.

    How are you doing today? Are you still studying at college? 
    Senior Online Community Officer
    Scope
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    Thank you buddy! I’m doing alright just so anxious when I have to see the doctor. Hoping I can finally get somewhere and get the right support. How are you doing? And no I’m just working at the moment 
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Posts: 4,540Administrator Scope community team
    That's completely understandable. Like you say, hopefully they'll be able to put the right support in place for you.
    I'm not too bad thanks, trying to enjoy the slightly warmer weather!
    Have you considered distance learning for University? That way you could tie it in with working and go at your own time and pace. 
    Senior Online Community Officer
    Scope
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    Things went well at the doctors. Yeah it is nice to finally have a bit of sunshine isn’t it! I’m going to have a look into that I think that’s a good idea thank you Adrian 
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 5,812Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Glad your appointment went well :) Have you got much planned for the rest of the week?
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    Thank you Ami 😊 just got work over the next few days! Are you doing much? And @lisabrazil80 I’m unsure but maybe one of the others may be able to help! 
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    Just wanna say thank you to everyone on this for the support! It feels good to finally speak to people who can relate/understand! 
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 5,812Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    I am busy tomorrow morning. Need to contact our wedding ceremony venue, writing. Will be on here mostly though :)
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    That’s amazing for you!! Hope you have an amazing wedding 😊 from what I have seen on here, I hope your fiancé gives you the best wedding ever as you deserve it! 
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 5,812Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    Aww bless you! Thank you so much! You've made my day and it's only just begun! :)
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • vysvadervysvader Posts: 133Member Courageous
    edited April 19
    Not being able to pursue higher education is hurting me badly. 
    Hiya, 

    Do you mind which country will be your "title" from? In theory, you can start with something either more or less related and then you can exchange, finish your studies with an MSc in the preferred field (also in the UK). Usually, the admission requirements for MSc aren't really very strict and even, it's not narrowed only for medics, biologists, etc... For science, I've seen universities that require a science field (anyone) but it doesn't always must be just a continuous study of neurology/biology.

    Someone has already mentioned Open University, etc... One could seem to think that as an externist, with any form of distance learning, you'll avoid a great part of in-person social interaction (you avoid classmates, public speeches, etc). You'll still need to make exams under supervising of authorities and far more, but either way, it mitigates 95% of potentially negative experiences associated with social anxiety. 

    Your earned academic credits (minimally for general education modules if no other module matches) can be transferred to another institution. Can it match? Well, even in unrelated computer science, I could take biology as electives. The transfer isn't really a challenge rather than it'd be a quickly sorted formality.

    [links removed by moderator]
    You can feel free to get in touch 
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    @Elsey66 I’m glad that you can relate in a way but I’m disheartened that you’ve had similar situations. It sucks doesn’t it. I had a big melt down on Monday as I didn’t know if I had any work in my preferred place of work so my anxiety was extremely bad. The doctor gave me some zoplicone and some diazepam and said there’s not any other medication I can try as I’ve tried practically everything. So I’m just trying to take it day by day. How did you manage become so self reliant and manage on your own? And @vysvader the fact that you mentioned about neurology is crazy, as just the other day I looked into the course and the modules and it seemed perfect. The thing is though I crave human interaction but sitting in a classroom with loads of people makes me uncomfortable to the point where I have to leave the room multiple times. I’ve spoken to the college where I tried access to bioscience and I’m considering trying it in September. I just struggle with motivation and patience or I’ll get so fixated on a certain topic and neglect other aspects of the course (for example, learning how the heart worked had me instantly engaged). I’ve realised that becoming a doctor is what I want to do one day as I like solving problems, I’m very keen on pharmaceutical and I have an obsession with vitamins, minerals and tablets. All the hands on work and being able to help a patient in need is what I want to do. 

    Btw I live in the welsh valleys so opportunity is scare

    The things that get in the way for me are: 
    - worrying that my bamp and man will leave me.
    -5000 of debt from credit cards etc from when I was young and naive 
    - bills I need to pay. 
    - failing again. 
    - feeling like I don’t fit it.
    - becoming an addict due to social anxiety/wanting stimulation. 

    I just try to do to much at once and it burns me out. I’m getting better with money management though. 
    But like a lot of people I know I won’t be truly happy until I’m pursuing my dream. I’ve looked into OU and I don’t think I could get finance for the courses and stuff. And I find it hard to motivate myself outside of a classroom as it’s a different structure or I spend too long procrastinating. 

    Thank you for your help guys I’m taking it all onboard and staying strong. You’re good people and this input is helping me a lot. I hope you all have a great weekend.
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    @Elsey66 That’s exactly how I feel, it’s like trying to push a boulder up a hill isn’t it. Ran into one of my best friend who I’ve drifted from recently but we might be booking a holiday soon so it’ll be something to look forward to. How long have you used the zoplicone and diazepam? They’re effective but I worry that they may essentially “fry” my receptors in the brain so I compensate with healthy food and exercise. Im currently under their care, but if I’m honest I feel like they could do more to help. Have you had much help from them? 
    I find keeping myself busy and sleeping with a pet helps tremendously. What sort of techniques help you when you are low? 
    That’s all you have to do isn’t it just keep hanging in there, every day above ground is truly a blessing; even if our thoughts sometimes say otherwise.
    Has anyone else also had cognitive behaviour therapy? 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 5,399Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    edited April 19

    Hello @connoro007  Pleased to meet you.

    Thank first of all for sharing your post. I do understand what you have been through as do lot of our community.

    Coming from an addiction background myself it is difficult day to day how you go through coping.

    I think what is important first of all is finding what you want. Consider this I know myself. Having mental health issues do know it is how you need to find the right support. The right guidance and advice to continue to maintain your mental health and to cope with your addiction.

    The hard part is being able to come off I know this myself.  Those cravings, emotions.

    It is good to hear you are in contact with your Mental health crisis team . Also your Doctor.

    I do understand the need to talk to them to discuss how you are feeling, emotional and day by day week.  I do also know being a man is it not easy to discuss this.

    I have been there so many times. Especially addiction situation.

    Know there are helplines and support groups you can call.

    Talk to Frank is a good support network to contact.

    https://www.talktofrank.com.

    Call Helpline 0300 123 6600.

    I am an alcoholic been one for thirty years now clean for twelve. Had drug problems as well.

    Contacted Talk to Frank one night had those feeling and cravings.

    Got a call back talking to me.

    Trained counsellor.

    Thought just mentioned this to give some reassurance.

    I do know it helped. Informative website.

    So I hope I can guide, advise you .  One suggestion I know you have a crisis team.  I have used them before myself.

    I hope there are helping you.

    One thing I used is mental health charities. Some thing else to look at.

    Used this one last time.

    https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk.

    Get floating support out reach worker. Help with anything additional. Do help clientele with other issues. Wellbeing and benefits.

    You have made one important step being in touch with our community. We are here to be supportive.

    Pleasure to meet you.

    Anything I can do please ask.

    Wish you well. Keep in touch.

    Take care.

    @thespiceman


  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    I understand exactly what you mean. This is off topic but when speaking to friends I’ve had, for example if I called them ‘bro’ and used an emoji I automatically feel like I’ve done something wrong or they’re off with me. That’s taken a long time but at least you have goals you can and will reach😊 I’m sorry to hear that you can’t work because of it. I’ve had instances where I’ve not been able to as well but then that adds to the bad feelings. Totally understand where you’re coming from. When I’m extremely agitated I will pace back and forth my living room continuously talking at my grandparents. I’ve self harmed but hitting/breaking objects or head butting things is what I’ve done but I realised going to the gym instead after work is a lot better! I’ve had a person from pathways come out to see me so I will reach out to her. Thank you and good luck with building up to therapy! 
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    edited April 20
    @thespiceman thanks for your post. Being sober for that long is amazing and you should be so proud of yourself! It is a hard situation isn’t it. Most of my old friends use drugs like cocaine on a regular basis so at the moment I do not speak to them, it’s just so difficult as I’m essentially isolating myself. 

    I spent all of the last 2 years smoking cannabis alone in my bedroom desperately wanting a girlfriend then I realised focusing on myself and leading the life I want to live would be so much more rewarding than having someone else be the source of happiness or having to use drugs. Thanks for your post man! 

    So much admiration for people like you who change their life around then help others facing similar situations. 

    Thank you for the links will definitely look into it. 

    Joining this has realised how many selfless people there are around doing their best to make a difference to this ****** world! 

    Look after yourself man! 
  • vysvadervysvader Posts: 133Member Courageous
    edited April 20
    @connoro007
    That's why I wrote the links (removed by a moderator, again and again without a real reason...). The links consisted of two lists with a lot of free distance learning Bachelors and Masters degree programs in neurology, medicine, etc (the vast majority of EU countries provide free higher education financed from taxes and on many universities, you can study in Eglish like on some of Scandinavian, German, French... universities so before the Brexit, before the UK leaves the EU, you are yet eligible). You could do it from Wells (there are already hundreds of universities those allow you to do exams online with the condition that you install a software that gives your examiner/professor a remote control over your Pc so they see what happens on your screen/monitor in exactly the same way as you see your screen and you provide a camera with a microphone so your examiner can hear and watch at you in your room, they can see and hear what you do in the physical space during the whole exam period. Thus they find out if their student cheats).
    You can feel free to get in touch 
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 5,812Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    @connoro007 please be aware that we have young readers therefore we discourage using any profanity :)
    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 5,399Community champion Disability Gamechanger

    Hello @connoro007  Thank you for kind words.  Good morning.

    How are you today?

    I wanted to add . As a gentleman middle fifties ongoing.  I do struggle and strive as every one does who has addiction problems.

    We in the addiction community those who are clean or those have issues and struggling are always following some one.

    Following some one who has either beaten the disease or continuing. You must remember this.

    Addiction whether alcoholism or drug addiction or any addiction is a disease. Disease of the mind and body. People experience many varying symptoms.  As probably you know.

    First time I was aware addiction was a disease. Was my own research into why I kept on being an alcoholic. WHO website. World Health Organisation website and further research means that you can not do this alone.

    Reason early years kept relapsing and the also the association with keep on drinking. In those days we were men did not have drink problems.  You did not admit it. As with any alcoholism comes the connection with drugs.

    I took certain drugs as every one did then the ones available in the night club scene. Of the early eighties.

    The all nighters to keep awake.

    I wanted to mention this because you story is so familiar to me. Having met many young gents having issues and problems.

    I can only advise and offer my guidance. Plus any friendship. Happy to be anytime a friend. 

    This is often a problem with addiction of any type especially drugs or alcoholism.  As you added walked away from friends taking drugs.

    This happened to me several times including many friends lost a lot but also had to say the hard honest truth to many then had to walk away.

    Also the other way as well had friends telling me including ladies in relationships. I wish I could turn back the clock. Another one we all have in common. The hurt and harm we do to others and others do to us. We do not ever understand why. Yet is it because the toxins in our minds.

    I know your a smart intelligent gent and have met so many like you in our community. The addiction community and will continue to support as a do every day.

    One final point is that never tell an addict to stop. They need professional help and guidance.

    Besides if you tell any one who has long term addiction to stop can be more harm than good. Trust me been there. Thought I could stop on my own with out professional help. Did so and end up I am afraid in hospital.

    Massive chest pains and other associated problems.  This due to the body reaction to not having the drug or alcohol.

    Got told that by Doctors and also then rehab clinic.

    This being the biggest fear of any addiction either relapse or go in to shock after withdrawing.  One reason why so long an alcoholic.

    Need to withdraw slowly. 

    Because addiction is like a stone in a pool you throw it in and the ripples are far and wide.

    Effecting family, friends and much more. 

    All I can say I am here to give any support you need please ask me.

    I hope you do consider the links. That I have given to you.  The mental health charity do have signposting to specialist professional help regarding addiction.

    I know this because when I joined they asked about me. Do I need. Any additional support.

    Please can I add not a Doctor or a professional. Just a gent done a lot of research, information and used my knowledge.

    Plus my experience ongoing. I am appreciated this morning for your words means a lot.

    To educate my self including getting nutritional qualifications in the process.

    This does help to understand my self more.  Diet, and associated effected the wellbeing.  Physical as well so important.

    I have mutual respect for all my friends in the addiction community.

    Please keep in touch.

    Take care.

    @thespiceman

  • WaylayWaylay Posts: 875Member Pioneering
    Thank you for sharing your story with us! I have some problems similar to yours, and one thing I noticed about your original post is that you mentioned bullying when you were a kid, being taken from your Mum (drug-addicted or not, that must have been hard), losing friends to suicide, etc. These things are all really difficult to deal with. I don't know too much about ADHD or ASD (aside from having a partner with both), but I do know what it's like to try to live with upsetting things in your past. Things that happened in childhood tend to affect us more. Drug use, addiction, isolating yourself, suicidality and self-harm can all be reactions - I struggle with them too. ADHD and/or ASD can make it more difficult, as you say, because a lot of people just don't know how to interact with people who are different! It can be very lonely!

    Despite it all, you've accomplished so much, and you help others too! What a strong, caring person you are! Please treat yourself with compassion - you deserve it - and be proud of who you are! We all have our problems, but not everyone is kind, ambitious, and sharing like you!

    I hope your GP can refer you to ADHD/ASD services, and hopefully get you some therapy to help with how you feel. Be aware, though, that depending on where you are, your Trust may have long waitlists, and may not be able to offer you some of the support you might find useful. Are there any groups for people with ASD near you (if you're pretty sure you have ASD)? It might really help to meet other people with similar ways of thinking, who get treated the same way you do, who are lonely and isolated. My partner has a big group of friends who are all IT geeks/researchers/scientists, many of whom have ASD, and who love to get together and talk about the stuff they're learning/creating/researching. They're awesome (except when they talk about IT networking for hours on end - I don't understand it - I'm a scientist ;) ).

    Er. Hope that's useful. :)


  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    @Waylay reading that gave me goosebumps. That meant so much. I’m currently having a break in work so I have little time for a big reply. Thank you for those nice things you have said. 
    Im going to start embracing my differences no matter how hard it is! 
    Im not one to be soppy but that was so generous and heartwarming for you to say. I’ve realised most of the people I considered friends were just associates that I’d do drugs and stuff with. With the amount of chaos going on in the UK and places like the Middle East it shows the worst of human nature. But some of the things you guys have said has truly shown me how compassionate people really can be. I have goosebumps and tears in my eyes but I feel happy right as of this moment. Thank you so much. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had similar situations happen to you. I’m currently looking for a good support group but it’s hard as I have to work but I’m going to make it a priority. We all have our differences, but it’s nice to achknowledge how helpful strangers can be. It’s so kind, just taking time out of your day to reach out ❤️ Thank you to everyone. I hope each and everyone of us lives the life we desire and the life we deserve. If everyone thought this way the world would be a different place! Little by little we can all make a difference in a small way but it can have a huge impact. Hope all of you have an amazing weekend 😊
  • vysvadervysvader Posts: 133Member Courageous
    edited April 20
    We have some discussions you may want to join autism and aspergers discussions and mental health discussions.
    Yea, now, one can see and even it's almost impossible to overlook the new explosion of topics about ASD (mixed almost in all categories), just if you compare either the diversity or the content itself of the old posts with the new (and rather monothematic) posts (almost all from anonymous and multiple nicknames write posts with the same mix of a foreign syntax, the same grammatic mistakes written under multiple nicknames that look like an English interbred with a totally correct western Slavic grammar rather than mistakes/misspellings). Currently, you can think that you discuss neither with people having ASD, nor their families rather than internet trolls.
      
    You can feel free to get in touch 
  • vysvadervysvader Posts: 133Member Courageous
    P.s.:
    Only 12% of the UK population is foreign-born (and many of them are able to write very well, you don't recognize because of their written English), meantime, more than 1/2 of all new posts (usually, a mix of complaints about behavior and something related to learning difficulties) to ASD share linguistic syntax that is used merely by 2-12% of the population. 
    You can feel free to get in touch 
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    I’m really struggling and feel like I’m falling apart. I’ve got so much debt, there’s no way I can pay my car insurance, phone bill, car finance etc . I almost had a breakdown in work Monday, my manager threatened to ring my agency and say I’m not fit for work. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle :( the services won’t do nothing for me. My grandparents try they’re best and I just feel like a burden and a failure. I head butted a few things the day before yesterday and cut my arm with a piece of glass. I don’t know where to turn. If I end up in hospital again I’ll lose my job, my debts will get worse. Sorry for posting this I just don’t know where to turn. 
  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Posts: 2,902Member Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome
    💜🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
    I am a fibro warrior !💜♏️
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Posts: 5,812Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    I am sorry to hear this @connoro007 Have you been in contact with your local CAB as they can provide advice on debt?

    As @Antonia_Scope has advised:

    If you are having thoughts of self harm or suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]
    You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/helping-yourself-now
    If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

    We have advice on practical and emotional support for when you are in debt

    Not having enough money to pay important bills like rent, council tax, gas and electricity can be stressful. Your health can also suffer if you’re not eating properly or keeping warm. While it’s easy to get into debt, it’s more difficult to get out.

    The most important thing is to talk about your situation with someone you trust. This could be a family member, friend or someone at work. They could help you contact your local authority, landlord or creditors. You should also speak to a debt advisor. You might not think so, but talking about your debt can help.

    You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now!
  • thespicemanthespiceman Posts: 5,399Community champion Disability Gamechanger

    Hello @connoro007  Sorry to hear that you have been struggling.

    You have been in my thoughts and wondering how you are?

    Please can I ask have you contacted any of the links I provided for you.  In one of my posts.

    You mentioned services will not help.

    I apologise if that is not happening.  My concern is with the addiction history you have that you need to address this.

    I agree the problems of debt are upsetting, emotional and can be difficult to deal with.

    I lost everything through addiction including business and much more. Had massive debts but learnt one vital thing.

    Try to find the necessary steps to cope with anything.

    I am here for reassurance, to give some confidence some self esteem.

    We need to address the important issues which are your mental health. Which is ties with anxiety which ties with addiction.

    Fears of relapses.

    I do understand have much time for you as any one who has and been through all of this.

    I do understand have the patience and tolerance for you..

    Did add this one https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk

    I agree there will be problems maybe a waiting list or an assessment of your needs.

    This is happening every where. 

    Please can I advise as a someone who has been through this. Speak to your Doctor. The Doctor is not only there to heal but to help and aid additional signposting.

    Speak to him about referring you.  To any one who can help and offer guidance.

    One off the problems with addiction and any problems need to be very open and honest.  Have to admit this is not easy to do but you need to say to the Doctor what is happening.

    The other one is to look on line be calm.  Have a pen and paper .  Look at your area for support and guidance with your debt.

    Have some one with you any additional support if you have it.  To go through anything.

    Make a list of the debts what you have to pay out.  Be honest and open with everything. 

    Fears and insecurities are the main problem I know. I had this and had to admit everything.

    Did not wish to but had to .

    There are debt agencies, charities on line local ones to you that will help.  Look at libraries or speak to CAB.

    This is the hardest part admitting you have problems need to share talk to some one.

    I am here as is the community. Please can I ask one other thing your a proud man and it is important to discuss these issues.

    You could arrange a meeting with your boss. Explain everything. Many companies want to help and advise give guidance to their employees.

    You might be surprised even help and have anything to offer.

    Please if you think you going to be self harming. Contact the hospital.

    One of our team has advised you to think about that.

    Please if I can advise be supportive a friend to listen to. Please get in touch.

    You will get through this. It will be hard and be painful but you will succeed.

    Please take care.  Your a member of our community now.

    @thespiceman

     

  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Posts: 4,540Administrator Scope community team
    Hello @connoro007, debt can be a crushing weight on your mental health and I'm really sorry to hear much you're struggling. You've been given some good information and advice about addressing your debt, but please seek some expert advice about handling it.

    Also, if you're self-harming, or having thoughts of self-harm, it's really important (as Ami said) to speak to someone who is qualified and able to help you. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]
    Please also give MIND's information about distracting yourself from self-harm a read as their tips may help you. However, as always, if you feel like you might be a danger to yourself, give 999 a call or go to your local hospital.
    Senior Online Community Officer
    Scope
  • connoro007connoro007 Posts: 22Member Courageous
    I’ve got in contact with step change. The team leader where I work has booked me in for the next 3 weeks, love working here with the guys. I’ve had to think about postponing holidays and stuff. Things are tough but I’m hanging in there. Feel like I’m starting to finally connect to a girl I’ve liked for a while in work and stuff as well, not gonna ask her out or anything as I know this isn’t the right time. I’ve got an appointment with GDAS on the 8th of May to help me stay on the right track, Gwent Integrated Autism Service on the 10th, and seeing a psychiatrist on the 13th of June. Hopefully they will take shared care of my treatment so I won’t have to buy my medication. Also reached out to step change for my debts and plan to ring them tomorrow. Things are tough but ending it won’t solve anything just pass the pain to my grandparents (who are fighting for me and helping me so much). As for the community mental health team they say there’s not a lot they can do for me at the moment. Just got to hang in there. I’ve got a loving family, food, a roof over my head but sometimes I take that for granted. Thank you for your ongoing support guys. I called the crisis team the other day and spoke to a man who was very welcome and very warm and he was amazing fair play. I called them last night but I didn’t like the sound of the woman’s voice so I just listened to sad songs and ate food. Pulled myself together and had a good day today. Even helped my boss by doing 8am-10pm instead of the usual 12 hours as a lot of regular staff were sick. Yesterday I also offered to buy a homeless man a drink and some food as he was by the cash machine, I didn’t have change to give him though but it put things into perspective of how bad life can really be. Things are tough for all of us I understand that. Thank you for all the advice my friends.@Adrian_Scope @Ami2301 @thespiceman
    If any of you need any support or someone to talk to or just offload please don’t hesitate as I’d love to give something back. Also if it’s of interest to any of you I’m incredibly knowledgeable about food, nutrition, multivitamins, weight training etc. A healthy body leads to a health mind is what they say. 
    Thanks guys and have a good weekend, bless you all 🙏 
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