Support for 20-year-old Autistic son

tiggetnut76

Hi I am donna I am a mum to 4 children 21 20 16 14.my 20yr old lad   is autistic dyslexic poss pda adhd so rather challenging at times.
Doesnt sleep or eat well to.
I looking for some support and help with siblings that dont cope well as we was late diagnosed after 12.5yr battle.
To which we been left to get on with it no professional help. No help to access or fill in to get pip/dla or support.
Can anyone help me or guide where I need to go.
Many thanks donna x 

Chloe_Scope

Hi @triggetnut76 and a warm welcome to the community! 

I imagine this can all be hard at times. I'm sorry you haven't been able to access support. Is your son currently in education or work?

Here is some information about PIP which may help, have you started the process?

If you are looking for advice when filling in the application you can contact Citizen's Advice or AdviceLocal.

Have you spoken to your GP about your son not eating or sleeping very well?

I hope the community will be able to provide support and guidance, please do reach out if you need help with anything. I'm sorry for all the questions, I just want to be able to provide you with relevant information

Have a lovely evening Donna!

Sam_Alumni

Hi @tiggetnut76
Welcome to the community.

Our autism advisors are @SparkleSheffieldAutismAdvisors and may be able to offer some thoughts. They are based in Sheffield and run a group called Twinkle that supports siblings of children with autism where they are given space to express their feelings to professionals.  I wonder if there is anything like this near you?

There is some advice on the National Autistic Society website here. They say:

Teenage and child siblings of an autistic person

You may feel that your autistic brother or sister doesn’t get told off as often as you do and that your parents give them more attention. As a sibling this may make you feel angry, sad, jealous, frustrated and/or confused. These are all natural reactions. You could try watching our What is autism? video, understanding why your sibling acts the way that they do may help.

Bridget shares her experience of having a sister on the autistic spectrum:

Even now I still find it hard to deal with. I'm a lot more patient with my sister than I used to be, and I'm trying to be a better sibling to her. I sometimes slip and get into a bad mood - but hey, I can't be perfect all the time. I'm still getting used to the whole concept of autism, and I don't really understand all about it. 

Talk to an adult if you’re being bullied because you have an autistic sibling. You could ask a teacher or pastoral support worker if they can teach autism awareness in school.

It’s important to remember that your parent/s don’t love you any less than your autistic sibling. It could be that you’re able to be more independent than they are and so your parent/s feel they are able to trust you to do certain things alone. Although it may be difficult, try to speak to your parent/s to tell them how you feel, you may feel more comfortable to do this by text or email. They may be able to arrange some time when it can just be you and them.

If you can’t talk to your parent/s, then try to talk to an adult in school, friend or a helpline.

Talking to others who have autistic siblings may also help. There are some groups that your family can ask for support and who may be able to give you the chance to meet others in a similar situation.  They are:

• some National Autistic Society branches and groups
• Barnardo's
• Kids
• Sibs
• Contact

Watch other siblings talk about their experiences of having an autistic brother or sister.