My princess - anxiety at secondary school - blind and autistic

5ha8z

I am new on this forum. My daughter is blind and autistic. She has just started secondary school and has stared going on transport. She is struggling with it at the moment, she is anxious and gets upset. Has anyone else been through a similar situation?

April2018mom

Hello @5ha8z! 
Have you talked to the driver or not? How old is your daughter now? If she continues, you may have to drive her to school yourself as a last ditch option only. 
Try preparing her. Have discussions with her about this new chapter of her life and see if that makes a difference. https://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/media-centre/news/2018-05-29-public-transport-open-letter.aspx

5ha8z

I have spoken with the driver,they made her sit next to the escort but when the escort gets up she gets anxious about being left alone. She is nearly 12years old. I dropped her off myself at primary school,but want her to be bit independent.

paffuto10

Hi @5ha8z

I have a son with severe autism / mild brain damage and a daughter with borderline personality disorder so I know quite a bit about their anxieties.

I was just wondering if your daughter's bus anxiety is more about starting the new school rather than the bus itself? 

And of course, she's been used to you taking her so two quite big changes at once. 
Maybe she just needs time to settle? 

5ha8z

Hi @paffuto10,@april2018mom,thank you for replying. I think its combination of both really,its a big change for her. As a parent you want everything to go into place quickly,which isnt the case. I am going to persevere and let her get used to the routine. @puffuto10 how do your children cope with change?

paffuto10

5ha8z said:

 @puffuto10 how do your children cope with change?

They're both adults now and coping (still sometimes with difficulty) in their own ways. 

I do remember our son though, taking quite some time to settle on the school  bus and a teacher from the special school and escort had to gradually introduce him onto the bus a few times before he would even go on it. 

It's all very difficult at tines, isn't it? 

April2018mom

Maybe try buying a diary for her to write down her feelings in? 

paffuto10

Good idea! 

@April2018mom

5ha8z

@April2018mom she is blind so diarys not an option. She does express her feelings to me which is good x

April2018mom

Try asking her to tell you verbally what is bothering her. You could write it all down on her behalf and then read it back to her once she has finished. Or make notes with her consent. 

paffuto10

Oh dear @5ha8z
Sorry, completely forgot you put that in your first post. 

Yes, being able to express feelings to mum is good. Hope she settles soon x

5ha8z

Thank you for the advice,shes had a better day today,hopefully everything will fall into place x

paffuto10

Glad to hear that your daughter's had a better day 

5ha8z

@paffuto10 Thank you

April2018mom

You may also find this leaflet useful to read 

https://www.autism.org.uk/professionals/teachers/classroom/understanding-anxiety.aspx

emmarenshaw

Hello @5ha8z welcome to the community. I’m glad to hear your daughter has had a better day. Maybe a stress ball? So that she has something to squeeze when stressed. It’s good that your daughter tells you about her feelings, I get anxious myself and I’m sure the more she settles in the easier it will get. 

April2018mom

A squeeze ball also sounds a good idea. Talking about your feelings always helps. Maybe talk with her class teacher? What type of school is it, special needs or not? 

5ha8z

@April2018mom shes at a special school. Ive told her teacher and they aware of the situation. Hopefully once shes into the routine she will settle down. She doesnt like change

April2018mom

How have things been this week @5ha8z? 

5ha8z

@April2018mom,things have been much better this week,she isnt as anxious as she was last week. Thank you so much for asking x

Adrian_Scope

Hello @5ha8z, I'm glad your daughter isn't as anxious this week. Starting secondary school is a major transition for all children and those uncomfortable with change can find it especially difficult. 

Not all of it will be applicable but I found this a good read when my daughter started secondary school last year: https://network.autism.org.uk/good-practice/evidence-base/autism-transitioning-primary-secondary-school

This guide is aimed at teachers but it also has a few good ideas: https://www.autism.org.uk/professionals/teachers/transition-tips.aspx

How is she getting on with the transport now?