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TO ALL COMMUNITY MEMBERS

thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
I need to say the following.

There has been an undercurrent situation on this forum of toxicity .

Towards my self and the Community Champions,

We have been accused, mistreated, abused by certain members of the forum.

Including insinuations, no respect and consideration what we do.

I need to say our role is a volunteer one. We do this for nothing. We do this because we want to help and support the Community members who join.

We are dedicated, loyal, friendly, devoted members of the Community.

Many of us work long hours day and night. Because we want to.  Love what I do every day.

We treat every one who comes on to the forum with compassion, sensitivity and empathy.

I myself come on to the forum because I have health conditions that resonate with others. Work to help and guide those with issues.  Especially Mental Health and Addiction often late at night the worst time.

The role involves a lot of support from the SCOPE team. We do training have a newsletter that  sent to us.  Lots of guidance, advice and reassurance for doing the role.

Many of us are like you and come from various backgrounds. Have abilities, talents, skills and attributes to tailor the needs of any member of the Community who comes on.

We also have a list of organisations, charities, conditions or illness that is connected to anything you are coping with.

We also do need to maintain the forum if there are breaches of our rules and guidelines.

Please I would recommend every one have a look.  Might help you understand who and what we do.

I do occasionally need to flag up posts.

I must stress Children, young adults come on to this forum so please bear that in mind before posting anything.

As a Community Champion I have to do this. Understand this I have seen it all. In the two years being on here

We have people joining literally selling everything . You can guess what . Plus a lot of unsuitable posts those targeting our Community with a lot of misinformation need I say more.

That you may not benefit from but end up being hurt and harmed.  Just something you all need to be aware of. There are members of our society who see as a vulnerable people.  Our Community.

We want a safe Community.

Also any abusive posts or posts we may think are getting into a situation out of control.

That the members of our Community are getting targeted by others. We have that right that cause for concern. We all do care.

One of the most hurtful, shocking and upsetting parts of the role. Sorry getting emotive here.

Is the number of Community Members who say we lack, compassion, sensitivity and do not care.

As insults go some of us had enough.  I have to share this. I am a Christian have a heart, compassion.

Treat every one with honesty, kindness and take every opportunity to listen to you any time of day.

You wish to.

All of us treat you with respect, courtesy and politeness. Including may I add the SCOPE team.

This is a place to chat, debate make friends be supportive of one another.  Some members do not think like this and continue to cause problems and issues for the majority.

Please can I add what upsets myself and my fellow team members is the ignoring of essential support to help those every day.

We do not pluck this out of the air. We go on line use our time to find that information for you.

Many of us have the knowledge and education to help you.

What irks me is the continuing of plastered the stories of certain members on the forum.  Who critical of all endeavours , in denial and not accepting we are here to help.

In my own life time you do get told if you persist to talk about your issues with out any action on your part or refuse the help from those supporting you.

Mental health is one as is Addiction, in denial your out on the street.

It distresses me to hear some members ignore what we are telling them.  We get then abused, mistreated and hurt and harmed.

My own wall in the past been covered in threats, underlying currents of being nasty and unpleasantness.  Even sent messages on the service to be angry and annoyed with me for some reason.

I have to bring this up to your attention also the SCOPE team have done so and will continue to do so.  Those members do get removed and that is the main problems of the forum.

If you come onto the forum asking for help or saying what is wrong.  We will help you. 

If you ignore us. Please can I simply ask those members why have you contacted the forum then.?  If you do not wish to be getting help.

One of the sad poignant life I had is the loss of my friends due to Addiction who were in denial kept going on about their issues and problem all day every day but doing nothing about it.

You are watching friends die . Sorry to share this but you are.

Then it is too late. My own health had probably a year or so to live.  Apologise to distress friends who know me on here and members.

After thirty years an Alcoholic. 

Everyone can be helped to cope with their health issues or what ever you have. I am proof of this and every day I am in pain, struggle but work tirelessly to make a pleasant life for myself.

Being clean thirteen years next year wow just want to add you can do this.

We are here to listen but if you choose to ignore what we say.  I do feel emotive, and have feelings of why.  

I need to add I have to make a decision many times a day is this member listening to me. Can he or she be helped.  If I suggest or advise something, ignoring me. Then I have to make a choice.

Do I continue helping this member get frustrated and upset not listening or do I walk away.

I have discussed this with SCOPE team and have to walk away with a heavy heart, must add my faith tested every day.

Understand this is painful, hurting me and especially the comments from that member concerned we do not care . Sending hurling insults to certain Community Champions who do stirring work .

I have to say I am a white knight on this forum.  Will defend my friends who are Community Champions and any one else who hurts or harms any member with abuse or insensitive comments.

I need to re initiate that.

I would like to add one other point.  This needs to stop right now those who are doing this.

I want a friendly forum not a toxic one..

Please can I add the majority of the forum do accept our help get kind words, much appreciation which I respond. Those that do that . I just want to say will always support you and do love you all for sending much thanks to me and any one of the Team.

Thank you all for reading.

@thespiceman








Community Champion
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes

Replies

  • vikingqueenvikingqueen Member Posts: 165 Pioneering
    That sir is very well said, i do hope people read and digest what you are trying to get across. Wherever we go in life there is always a few who refuse to conform and will not take the advise given. You sir are a true gentleman and deserve the title of community champion, keep up the good work, ( and the recipes) Have a lovely day
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Member Posts: 325 Pioneering
    Dear Spiceman ....i have had nothing but help and understanding from the people who run Scope , i cannot thank you and the other advisers enough . You are all giving up your time to try and help others . I am most thankful for the sterling work you and the others do on here and i have been very thankful for the help . Please do not let abuse drive you from the work you do . As a young man i used to volunteer for various tasks for the elderly and infirm , i was also a prison visitor at one time . I miss the buzz i used to get from helping others . Now i am on the receiving end of the help ....'Karma' someone said . 
    Thank you and other advisers for your time and knowledge on various subjects . Please do not let the moaners drive you away , this is a great " free " site. I paid £20 to join an advisory site , i still found this site to be just as good with the advice they give .
    Thank you all for your time, i am most grateful . 👍🙏
  • CressidaCressida Member Posts: 491 Pioneering
    @thespiceman thank you for posting this. Please be aware that the majority of posters really appreciate the work you and all of the team do.  I have found all the recent rude, angry, malicious posts really offensive and really admire how as volunteers you all manage to respond in a polite civilised way despite the most extreme provocation. I'm not sure why those members dont just pm each other rather than just ranting about the same old stuff on an open forum. 


  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    edited November 2019
    I'm very sorry if you've gotten abuse from people @thespiceman I've always found you very empathetic and easy to speak to.

    I want to thank you for reaching out to me when I was struggling and for trying to understand and advise me and for sharing your own experiences with me, I really do appreciate it.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 2019
    Hello every one please can I thank all of you who have given a lot of kind words and from myself thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    I would like to add with out your contributions to the forum.  Which I enjoy reading all the time.  I have and know hope to see how we can help each and every one.

    After all your the important, valued members of our Community not myself I always have time for you all.

    One further aspect of  the role I do which but I know others do this.

    Hate saying this because never am self centred think of others so bit embarrassed to share.

    Is seeking, looking at posts. How can see help this member if in pain, distress, mental anguish.

    Send a message to SCOPE team and inform them to look at speak behind the scenes an Email see how can help.

    Something  you should know.  All of the Community.

    If you were contacted by SCOPE team it was one of us. So I hoped that is something that you realise.  Please speak to us the Community Team and Scope see what we can do.

    If you have anything to ask.  No problem too small happy to help.

    Please PM if you wish to.  I do not bite. Ask me anything recipes, ideas I not offended.  If you not want to keep in touch regularly have this all the time.

    Know that is a private place for personal issues , something to consider.

    I have actually gone to bed and to sleep then had these thoughts the anxiety of members. That have woken up come back on and see if there OK.

    Some of us do that especially the members thinking the serious problems of thinking to end their  life. Have sat up early hours as a number of us.

    Waiting to hear the member come back sending messages,a distressing part of the role but we do this because we know there is no one else.

    Can be daunting as you can imagine.  I offer my own time and happy be supportive anything they want to talk bout while giving them a lot of self esteem.  Let them talk me listening. I am understanding have the patience, tolerance.

    All Community Champions have done suicide training know how to help give the respect and care, concern.

    I have to inform SCOPE team sorry to have to say.  Any one should know that.

    Just some of the skills, abilities qualities we bring to the forum as Community Champions.

    Always grateful for every one much appreciated love you all who contributed.

    Wish you all well.

    Thank you.

    @thespiceman



    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 20,555 Disability Gamechanger
    @thespiceman thank you for posting this. You are a true gentleman and i'm honoured to call you my friend!! Always there to listen and give advice when needed. Not forgetting the laughs too!


    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @poppy123456   Thank you for supporting me and warm words.

    Understand why you are the one Community Champion we look up to and always following you.

    I know met a fantastic lady and a true friend.

    Please can I thank you. For being there. 

    Speak soon I hope.

    Please take care

    Your friend.

    @thespiceman




    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • woodbinewoodbine Member Posts: 1,394 Disability Gamechanger
    Its not nice to read that people who put so much effort into helping others tell us that they get abuse, sadly the internet is home to many cyber bullies, I for a time was a moderator on another forum and some of the things I saw on there often made my toes curl, in the end I walked away.
    To you spiceman and all the other community champions on here be aware that you do a great job an most of those seeking help/advice are very grateful, keep up the excellent work.
  • fieldsofnewfieldsofnew Member Posts: 17 Listener
    Spiceman really helped me a couple of years ago with support at a time when I needed it. Thank you so much.
  • easyeasy Member Posts: 99 Courageous
    Please come back to us thespiceman I for 1 really miss you. I am so glad poppy is back but we need you too!
  • easyeasy Member Posts: 99 Courageous
    This place is not right without you.

  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 405 Pioneering
    Very well said and like I said before its not on people posting horrible stuff on your walls you all share your expert knowledge with us and a caring ear and its not on that you have to be faced with such Disrespect I said it once and I day it again . I thank each and every one of you we all have our daily battles but we all help each other where we can . Theres no  need for people to get rude because they do not like factual information.

    I can honestly say the information I Have received off here is more helpful than Citizens advice and just as good as what a lawyer would give apart from no fee its people sharing there professional knowledge in there own time as well as also dealing with there own illnesses Im very grateful  .
  • TopkittenTopkitten Member Posts: 1,263 Pioneering
    Unfortunately there will always be some "bad apples" in any group of people which these days, on the internet, are referred to as "Trolls" I believe. Unfortunately when they start picking on someone it can make life very uncomfortable. I know of at least one nice lady who has left for the same reason. Personally I simply put someone on my ignore list (which has only one name currently) but ofc you cannot do that. I hope this situation resolves for you.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 20,555 Disability Gamechanger
    edited August 10
    As a community champion myself there's no rules to say that we can't add a member to our ignore list, i certainly have a few on mine.
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member - under moderation Posts: 4,897 Disability Gamechanger
    There is a fascinating but unspoken passive aggressive nature to these kinds of thread and I find myself increasingly offended by it. The original post comes from a very good place and I heartily agree with it. What follows? Much less so. 

    People have started to start threads or join threads talking about the atmosphere or the attitude but they inevitably do so not when they themselves have been on the end of such things but when they’ve actually dished exactly that out. The hypocrisy is breathtaking.

    Suffice to say I’ve had to report a poster on a thread today (in a different thread I hasten to add) and I’m fairly confident that the person referenced above as having “left” repeatedly breached forum rules and, far from having left, was active as recently as lunch time today. 

    I use the ignore function sparingly as I recently discovered I couldn’t afford to not view some of the vile things being written about me

    The forum would perhaps be a slightly better place if people hesitated before posting; thought a little more about the possible other perspectives in the accusations they were about to throw out and looked in the mirror at their own behaviours before issuing such accusations. 
  • male45male45 Member Posts: 314 Pioneering
    I'm just browsing the forum and came across this thread.
    It isn't nice when you try helping others to be the brunt of abuse..or threats.
    I was a volunteer on a helpline that dealt with suicide and and other sometimes abusive telephone calls.
    Our training taught us well bo not taking things personal and using the call to try and find out what has the caller in such a state. We were also trained to understand that sometimes a caller needs to sound off to someone and by the time they are coming to the end of a call they have calmed and are able to talk about what ails themsometimes they vent their anger and make threats then hang uo and over time they would repeat this over and over
     Training g taught us that many times the caller is sussing put how they'll be received
     So a calm voice and not taking anything personal was the order of the day.
    Also volunteers have a superb network of support..sorry can't explain what this is as I signed a confidentiality  clause when joining.
    So spaceman I'm truly sorry that you and other champions and scope staff have been on the recie ing end of abuse and threats.
    I wish you a big thank you for helping me on this forum tou all have been outstanding.
    To the people who feel you must threaten or abuse anyone on this forum I urge you to think first why you need to.
    Try to remember everyone on here wants to help you so please try and accept their help. You just might be glad tou did.
    Best Wishes 
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