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Fireworks and PTSD.

OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
Hey all, I know loads of people like fireworks and bonfires etc, but for some it is absolutely crippling - the smell, the bangs, flashes.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!

There's just no need, I guarantee I'm not the only only one climbing the walls with their heart in their mouth - trying to slow thoughts, not zone out and regulate breathing - just as you almost get there, another huge bloody round of bangs, smells and then it starts again ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข

WHEN WILL IT STOP!!!

Replies

  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Administrator Posts: 7,698 Scope community team
    Really sorry this has been difficult for you @Onix, this time of year cannot be the easiest!

    I'm sure other people will be able to relate to what you have said and I hope you can find some ways that help you stay calm. How are you doing today?ย 
    Community Partner
    Scope
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Administrator Posts: 5,648 Scope community team
    You're definitely not alone with this @Onix. Hopefully now it's past the 5th it'll calm down a little bit.ย 
    I hope you've managed to get some rest. Please let us know how you're getting on.ย 
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope
  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 1,860 Disability Gamechanger
    Well I`m hoping it`s over for another year. My little dog was hiding under my bed, shaking and panting again last night.

    And they ARE definitely getting louder.

    Humbug!
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @Adrian_Scope
    @Chloe_Scopeย 

    Hi, just about to write I was levelled off and the bang that went off could have been right beside me. Back to being a mess ๐Ÿ˜•. Ah well, such is life I guess ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข.

    Hope all is good in your respective areas โ˜บ.

    @pollyanna1052

    Have a look at Zylkene. It's like a milk protein that helps to calm dogs. If that doesn't work, I'd use an adaptil plug in.
    Also, if you have something like a t-shirt or jumper with your scent on it - put it on your furkid and wrap it tight. That helps provide comfort - it does the same as a thunder shirt but just way cheaper โ˜บ. Hope this helps a wee bit.
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Member Posts: 272 Pioneering
    edited November 2019
    Sorry to hear your having a hard time Onix ....we seem to get more fireworks( in Scotland)ย  at new year than guy fawkes night . Although a huge bang ( explosion) went off last night that shook my windows . God knows what kind of firework it was but it was ' BIG ' . Thankfully my bulldog is way to laid back to bother about fireworks ...infact the year i got him the fella over the back fence had a fireworks party and their was Hamish , sitting watching the fireworks including bangers and rockets ...although i know one bulldog owner who's furry pal had a heart attack and died . I,m sure there cannot be many countries still sell explosives over the counter ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคจโ˜น I did notice a few of the bigger stores have stopped selling them . I hope its not to long until all but organised displays are allowed . I wonder if the statistics of the injured are being stiffled this year ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ™„
    Our own councilmhad a big fireworks display ...this is tge same council that are cutting things to the bone due to austerity ...then they go and spend many many thousands of pounds on a display .
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    @Onix

    Hi, hope you're feeling better today.

    I also have PTSD and jump at the slightest thing, never mind fireworks!!

    In the past we have had dogs that fortunately weren't too bothered about the fireworks.ย 
    But this year daughter and her cat have been living here and it was so upsetting the other day to see how distressed he was. Poor thing didn't know where to go for the best!ย 
    I put him in bed with me with daughters jumper round him but he still couldn't settle!ย 
    Was so relieved for him when it was all over.ย 

    @Seanchai
    Your Hamish :D

    But how sad for your friend's bulldog.ย 


  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Administrator Posts: 7,698 Scope community team
    Sorry to hear this @Onix! How are you feeling this morning? :)
    Community Partner
    Scope
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Member Posts: 272 Pioneering
    Another year of ' surviving' fireworks at this time of year, i hope you are all well this morning . Someone suggested firework without bangs and screetches ...silent fireworks . Thats exactly why i ( and my family) used to send chinese lanterns into the sky , a nice sight without bangs etc. ...although i see they are about to ban these lanterns now. There was complaints of chinese lanterns wire being eaten by cows and other farm animals , so the wire was taken out and straw replacing the wire , then we had complaints of farm animals eating the paper , so the paper was changed to rice paper ...i just wonder who was doing the complaining about chinese lanterns , was it farmers or fireworks companies chairpersons ? ๐Ÿคจโ˜น.
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @Seanchai
    I'm in Glasgow at present and I totally agree, New Year definitely tops guy fawkes. I'm absolutely dreading it. That's great Hamish wasn't bothered โ˜บ.

    @paffuto10
    It certainly makes things awkward, that's for sure. Hopefully, we'll have a bit of respite now โ˜บ.

    @Chloe_Scope
    I'm not too bad thanks - how are things with you? โ˜บ
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Administrator Posts: 7,698 Scope community team
    I'm good thanks @Onix! Glad it's Friday though!ย  :D
    Community Partner
    Scope
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @Chloe_Scope
    Have a great weekend ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Administrator Posts: 7,698 Scope community team
    Thank you @Onix! How are you today? :)
    Community Partner
    Scope
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    Hi @Chloe_Scope
    Hope you had a good weekend ๐Ÿ˜.
    Things not good here, were going ok till I got pip report back ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ”ซ.
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    Oh no @Onix

    Is it bad?ย 
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    Let's just say I shouldn't have bothered, when that excuse of a report gets submitted, they'll just screw me right over. Absolutely no point at all!!
    Anyway, sorry I don't mean to drag folks down - ignore me - the assessor clearly did.
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    Onix, sorry I've just taken an hour to get back to you.ย 

    Adult son who lives in supported housing has phoned. His online shopping didn't arrive but Tesco says it's been delivered.ย 

    Looks like it may have been stolen (although I don't like to think that) so I think the police will be called.

    Anyway to get back to your report. Is there anything in it at all, that's correct?


  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @paffuto10
    Oh no, nightmare ๐Ÿ˜•, I hope you both get to the bottom of it. I'd tell tesco you are reporting it as theft and hopefully they will offer to deliver your sons shopping as a gesture of good faith at the very least.
    Got everything crossed for a positive outcome - let me know how it goes โ˜บ.

    Re report, some was true to be fair, I'll just need to wait on decision before I can do anything though.
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    edited November 2019
    Thanks @Onix
    Yeah, I am sure we'll sort something out about son's shopping.ย 

    Your report: I deliberately didn't ask for mine because my assessment went really badly and I just knew it would be a bad report and upset me.ย 

    But when decision came it was good and DM actually wrote that she'd gone by the medical evidence and had changed the descriptors (which I think meant she had gone against the assessor report)ย 

    So I'm thinking if some part of your report Is correct DM might do the same as mine and go with medical stuff and change descriptors?

    Anyway, I know it's hard but try to think positive because of what happened to me. x

  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    Morning @paffuto10. Did you manage to get your son's shopping sorted?

    I was told to ask for a report by the folk that helped me fill form in. It was just sods law it was delivered when their was no-one around and everybody winding down for the weekend.

    I do need to sit when I'm less stressed (haha) and go through all the points properly ready for their decision.

    God, i'm such a moaner ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•.
    Anyway, hope you have a great weekend ๐Ÿ˜.
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    edited November 2019
    And you @Onix

    Yes thanks, got to the bottom of the missing shopping.ย  :)
    Delivery van had broken down.ย 
    Money has been been refunded and son has re done his shopping list.ย 

    Wishing you a bit of peaceful mind over the weekend, if that's at all possible, under the circumstances! x
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @paffuto10

    Glad it all got sorted ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜.

    You just minded me I actually need to do a shop lol.
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Administrator Posts: 7,698 Scope community team
    Sorry to hear this @Onix, how are you doing today?
    Community Partner
    Scope
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @Chloe_Scope, Hi, I'm really sorry I missed your post ๐Ÿ˜•, things haven't been that great so didn't want to come on here and drag folks down. Still not great and i'm just dreading between now and new year. Guess I'll just have to suck it up.

    How are things with you?
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Administrator Posts: 7,698 Scope community team
    Good morning @Onix, sorry to hear things have been difficult for you. The community is always here if you need to talk and it's okay if you don't want to be positive, life can be very difficult.

    I really hope that the time between Christmas and New Year is okay. :)
    Community Partner
    Scope
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Administrator Posts: 5,648 Scope community team
    Please never feel like you can't swing by @Onix. We wouldn't be much of a community if we only welcomed you when things are going great. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help. :smile:
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @Adrian_Scope
    @Chloe_Scope,ย 
    Hi, thanks both of you, I really appreciate it.
    I get to the point where I feel guilty about feeling bad because sometimes it can last ages, but I feel I should be a lot more in control, if that makes sense?
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Administrator Posts: 5,648 Scope community team
    edited November 2019
    It definitely makes sense, unfortunately guilt has a funny way of contributing to those feelings and turning it into a vicious cycle. I know I often feel guilty for feeling bad, so feel worse and feel guilty for that too.
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @Adrian_Scope, that's it exactly! Sometimes I can join in with posts, other times it just doesn't happen. That me feel guilty and mean as people have been kind enough to post on mine and give advice.
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Administrator Posts: 5,648 Scope community team
    Don't worry too much about replying to things @Onix. If you don't get around to it, or can't at that moment, it's fine.
    How are you getting on this week?
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    Hi @Adrian_Scope
    Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it ๐Ÿ˜.

    I'm not doing great if i'm being honest ๐Ÿ˜•. Had to have an ecg before doc introduced a new med to add on with my others.

    D'you know, I have a really good mh team who want to help - psychiatrist, cpn, ot and another group who work alongside the cpn but I can't talk to them. I have written stuff down which I thought would flag questions but they just got filed. Apparently I have the best psychiatrist and she is really nice but sometimes I feel she doesn't believe me and doesn't get my way of thinking, so I get so worked up about going in, all my barriers go straight back up and I feel like a naughty schoolkid being told off. My cpn is just young but also has kids so if she's telling me stuff that's fine, but again, I'm on instant guard if she asks anything.
    The others, I just feel like an inconvenience.
    Not great when I'm actually battling with myself when I get so down that self-harm thoughts take over as do others, just to get peace and stop feeling so rubbish all the time, as it feels neverending ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข.
    Anyway, I digress - how are things with you?
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Administrator Posts: 5,648 Scope community team
    edited November 2019
    I know they're supposedly painless (except for peeling off all the leads afterwards :#) but I've never thought ECGs look much fun. Did you get on alright?
    It's good that you've been honest about how you're feeling. It's hard to be so open and I've never found it easy either. (Who does!?) I have a nasty habit of downplaying everything, or blurting something out, feeling exposed and then rapidly retreating. The fact you have a bit of a connection with your CPN is a good thing though and these things take time. That said, someone being the best is all well and good, but if you don't gel with them, you're within your rights to find someone else.
    I'm alright, thank you. Absolutely shattered today, but shouldn't complain!ย  ;)
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @Adrian_Scope
    Lol, thanks for making me smile - the ecg was over really quick, it took longer to connect up and peel the pads off again. I had a really nice nurse who could see I was absolutely dreading it and she chatted the whole time which held my concentration. I think it would sting a bit if you were hairy where the pads were lol.

    I'm a very private person but on here there is a little bit of anonymity, that gives me a bit of breathing space to post small bits.

    So, I gather you've had a crazy day? What's made you shattered? Or is it just life?

    Just want to say thank you as well for replying to my posts - I never really expect any responses but seeing an alternative view slows me from racing ahead with whatever's in my head at that time โ˜บ.
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Administrator Posts: 7,698 Scope community team
    Hi @Onix, I'm glad the ECG went quick. Like you said, it takes longer for then to hook it all up!
    It can be really difficult to open up about how we are feeling so you should be proud for doing so. I'm glad the community gives you that space and we are always here to listen.
    I hope today goes well and you have a lovely weekend. :)
    Community Partner
    Scope
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    edited November 2019
    @Onix
    Hope your weekend goes well and I'm so glad that you feel you can open up on here. :)

    I'm the same as you and @Adrian_Scope.
    Have difficulty opening up, then feel guilty when I do!ย 

    @Adrian_Scope ย Hope you're feeling less shattered today.ย 
    When I'm feeling really shattered I like to remember a little girl I once overheard chatting to her mum about feeling tired.ย 

    The little girl said "Life's a trial, isn't it mum"?ย  :Dย 
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @Chloe_Scope
    Thank you. I hope you have a nice weekend also โ˜บ.

    @paffuto10
    Thank you โ˜บ, I hope your weekend goes well also.

    Life's certainly a trial - sometimes you just have to wonder if - well, just if ......

    Anyway, his lordship is calling so it must be pee time for him, his every wish is my command - when he behaves lol ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Administrator Posts: 5,648 Scope community team
    I'm glad the anonymity gives you a bit of room to breathe and reveal whatever you're comfortable with @Onix. You're always welcome to share anything here.

    As for why I was shattered: my youngest (16 months) has decided that sleep is no longer a biological necessity, but a social nicety and he's no longer willing to conform for longer than 10-20 minutes at a time. He's never a good sleeper (still up four or five times a night) but every so often he feels it's important to remind Mummy and Daddy just who's pulling the strings.

    How are you getting on this week?

    @paffuto10: she sounds like a very wise little girl!
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @Adrian_Scope you'll miss those waking hours as he gets older โ˜บ. I do hope you and your other half managed to get some sleep ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ˜ด. Do you have other kids as well? I bet you're getting excited about Christmas - it's grand watching the nippers getting so hyped up ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    I've stayed away on purpose as I tend to retreat when I know I'm bad - I hate the thought of dragging others down who have enough on their plate - maybe one day (beyond the grave lol) I'll actually pluck up the courage to say before rather than after - don't hold your breath though ๐Ÿ˜
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Administrator Posts: 5,648 Scope community team
    You never need to worry about dragging others down @Onix. You're more than welcome to talk about the things that are bothering you here. This is supposed to be a safe space for people and that includes you. That said, I understand withdrawing when you feel under the cosh or particularly bad. Just know you're always welcome here whenever and however you feel. :smile:

    Yes, I have two older daughters. There's a bit of an age gap, but they're both very excited. However, my bank balance is not so. :wink:
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope
  • OnixOnix Member Posts: 75 Pioneering
    @Adrian_Scope - Thank you. I have to say, between yourself and @Chloe_Scope as community team, you have made it really easy for me to be in here. The handful of other users I chat with on here as well - you are all more like friends rather than just acquaintances - maybe it's just because I don't need to put a front on, so the me that is typing - as messed up and unsure that I am, is the honest me, good or bad. I guess i'm not as worried as I would be if it was real names, although anyone that knows me, knows my username.
    Anyway, I guess I'm just trying to say thank you to you all โ˜บ.

    Two older daughters โ˜บ, i'm surprised you still manage to have a bank account lol.
    I hope you all have a Merry Christmas ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ…
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Administrator Posts: 7,698 Scope community team
    You are most welcome @Onix! I'm so glad you have been able to find a space where you are comfortable and can share what you want. It's great you have been able to connect with others and it's amazing to have you on the community. :)

    A very Merry Christmas to you too!
    Community Partner
    Scope
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