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Hello, my name is Bridgetty

BridgettyBridgetty Member Posts: 6 Listener
Hello all, I'm new here and a little nervous!
My friend has a PIP review form to fill in and has asked me to help. I don't know what i'm doing and worry about getting things wrong. So its making me anxious.
I get anxiety and depression at times so sometimes things set it off. I don't want to let her down. I've got an extension to 9th October for the form and contacted several agencies about how to get help with it, but I got a bit nervous and haven't followed through on it yet.
She has sickle cell and was on the higher levels, but was dropped to standard levels in 2013. She was too ill to appeal as the stress brings on attacks. She is a very positive person and answers things based on her best day. She has good and bad days. But to be honest sounds like a lot of bad days lately so she would not have to 'lie'. Its all nonsense. She told me she self discharged from hospital at the start of covid. With no care package. Because she was afraid of the virus. Just one of many admissions but mostly she chooses to stay at home and not take the pain killers that make you out of it so that she can lead a relatively normal shielded life with her children.
I'm visiting my brother tomorrow for the first time since lockdown.  He has continuing healthcare, for mental health needs and to be honest he is in a private institution. I don't like the manager much. I do worry if its the right place for him, but when the B'ham wanted to review his Gloucestershire placement (and make savings) we argued as a family for it to continue as is because he is stable. Stable is not really that great though is it.  I think I'd like him to have a chance of a different sort of life in a community where he could have his own private areas but still have access to the good stuff he likes like horse riding, weight training, and anything else he might want to do at that time.
My dad had the same illness but it was different for dad. He never got institutionalised. Just sometimes he would get ill. And he would get over it eventually after some time. 
Another 2 friends have versions of psychosis. One suffers badly daily but carries on running her own business. I see her sometimes. But keep the visits to a couple of hours now as I get upset when her symptoms are causing her distress.
I wish my brother had more support when he first got ill.  Or now. But he is 50 ish now and seems to me that there wasn't much constructive help at the beginning, and there isn't much now if you are a quiet kind of person. And some business is being paid thousands for hosting the status quo but not trying to help him get 'better'.
Anyway there's a lot going on. So I thought I would join.
Maybe I'll learn how to do my friends PIP. 
Maybe in time I'll be able to challenge if my brother's placement is the best for him.
Maybe I'll learn how to deal with my own anxiety without it spiraling.
Maybe I'll learn how to do my best with trying to help others but not put too much pressure on myself or let them down.
I'm never going to be perfect. But I'd like to be brave enough to try and make a difference by living my life in a way that makes a positive difference, and is living life to the full.
So I guess its 'hello' from me. I hope I'll find a welcome safe place here. And some supportive signposting / pointing in the right direction.
Thanks
Bridgetty

Replies

  • steve51steve51 Community champion Posts: 7,132 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Bridgetty

    Good Morning & Welcome.

    I am one of the Community Champion’s  here at Scope.

    I will forward your post onto our senior member who  is very very good with Benefits.

     Hi @poppy123456

    Can you please offer me some help/advice with this post????

    @steve51


  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Administrator Posts: 870 Pioneering
    Hello and welcome to the community @Bridgetty! There's no need to feel nervous, we're a friendly bunch :D 

    I can see that you've already made another post about helping your friend with their PIP review form- hopefully you found the information that our members have given you there useful? 

    It sounds like you've got a lot on, and that a lot of people lean on you for support. I hope you can start to put less pressure on yourself to not let people down too.

    Are you seeking any support for your anxiety at the moment? Many of our other members also suffer with anxiety, so I'm sure you'll be able to get some tips. You might also like to have a look through the Mental Health Issues category. For example, some of our members have shared a few tips on coping with anxiety.

    Let us know if you need any help finding your way around the community :)

    Online Community Coordinator
    Want to tell us about your experience on the community? Talk to our chatbot here and let us know what you think
  • BridgettyBridgetty Member Posts: 6 Listener
    Thanks Tori.  I'm not getting any help for my anxiety.  I had some short term counselling but it ended.  I found during lockdown there were more people to talk to but this seems to have changed not and I have less people to talk to.  We have holiday lets which went from empty (financially stressful but relaxing for our work levels) to exceptionally busy in August, with some difficult guests that drove up my anxiety levels, to empty again now with cancellations (financial stress again). Latest guidance has made people nervous again. We let them cancel and take the hit personally.
    Does not feel like there is a happy medium!
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Administrator Posts: 870 Pioneering
    Hi @Bridgetty,

    When you say you have fewer people to talk to, do you mean in terms of friends and family, or in terms of support services (or both!). I think if you're still struggling with your anxiety, it might not be a bad idea to get back on the waiting list for some more therapy.

    In the meantime, do you have a 'toolkit' of things that you can employ to help you cope with your anxiety day-to-day?

    That does sound very stressful. I hope that things will settle again soon, and you'll find a sweet spot. 
    Online Community Coordinator
    Want to tell us about your experience on the community? Talk to our chatbot here and let us know what you think
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 20,065 Disability Gamechanger
    HI and welcome,

    I see you posted a very similar question, which has already been answered here. https://community.scope.org.uk/discussion/73866/how-do-i-help-my-friend-with-a-pip-review-form#latest

    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • janer1967janer1967 Community champion Posts: 3,293 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Bridgetty Welcome to the community glad you have joined us here

    You are doing something that will make a difference and you should give yourself credit for this. You are helping your friend and trying to work out a better solution for your brother. All while dealing with your own anxiety

    We are here to support and hope you found some useful  help regarding the PIP form completion

    The best thing you can do is take care of yourself so you can be there for others


  • emmarenshawemmarenshaw Community champion Posts: 653 Pioneering
    Welcome @Bridgetty How are you today? We’re glad to have you with us, know that you can always come to any of us or the Scope family if you need anything, even if it is just a chat. 

    Perhaps you could speak to your GP about your anxiety? They may be able to suggest something or refer you. Please let us know how you are getting on.
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