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Depression

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  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Toby, @tobyrosco21

    You sound to be in a really bad place, friend, and I'm really sorry about that These days, of course, that's really not too surprising, what with public attitudes, the mendacity of the benefits system and the greed and narrow-mindedness of those in power over us.
    As I've said before, I know what it is like to feel that life is really not worth the struggle to maintain it. In relatively recent times I think I've studied the whole range of suicide options, but for me it is not realistic. There are people dear to me - my son and my wife - for whom my passing would be too painful for me to inflict on them but, until recently, it was only protecting those two that has enabled me to keep up the struggle. Now there is you, and others in the community, who have come to matter to me, and I will be hanging in here quite possibly until accident or old age takes me off, because there's just a fragment of a chance that I can be of use to somebody.
    It is pretty clear to me that I have not suffered the physical pain you seem to have to endure. Depression and anxiety, however, I do know about, and, at the risk of boring you but in the hope we might find some common ground, I'm going to tell you the basics of my story as briefly as possible. You are free, of course, to ignore it :)
    I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 4 years, largely as a result of my mother's projection of her own feelings onto me. She, then, was the poorly one. Unhappily married, from day one, she managed to make me feel responsible for her separation from my father when I was ten or eleven years old, a conviction that led to my trying to take my own life for the first time. Were I out of the way, I thought, they might be brought back together.
    Holes-in-shoes-poor from the beginning, I began to experience the still fairly new 'welfare' state, the humiliation of having my clothes chosen by a pair of social workers, of plastic-rimmed national health spectacles, of the stigma of being seen to receive free school meals, and much more. There are cow-pats around that have a greater self-esteem than I grew up with.
    Unloved, I was told, by my now absent father, badly loved by my mother and apparently unloved by a God who did not respond to the prayers of my child-like simplicity, I came to believe that I was unlovable. It proved untrue, but it took a long, long and very damaging time - into my late thirties, really - before that proof became evident.
    That proof coincided with, and to some extent resulted from, the worst and most scarring event in my life, which was the death of my massively disabled daughter. She was the light of my life.
    Most aspects of my life have improved since, though I have almost continuous moderate pain and periods of blackest depression. Already 66 years old I have scarcely a clue what the future holds for me and know that we face the risk of homelessness. Yet many would envy what I have, for so many are in such a bad way at the moment.
    I DO know, however, that all that really matters in life is how we are with each other, and that's one of the reasons I am here, today, writing this.
    So, if you've managed to get through this screed, which I know I've posted in a fairly public place, and if you think it might help to talk a little, there is a messaging system so that we could talk to each other more privately. If you haven't encountered it already - I haven't used it myself and have been here a little while - there's a spot in your profile with four little icons. The second icon looks to me a little like a pair of swimming goggles but is in fact an inbox. Click on that and the rest of the process is pretty much self-explanatory.
    So there you go. I hope you are feeling better. I hope my honesty in this may have been of some little help. And, as always, I invite you to go on talking and to ask any questions.
    Warmest best wishes to you,
    Richard
  • tobyrosco21
    tobyrosco21 Community member Posts: 52 Listener
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @tobyrosco21 How are you ?  Pleased to meet you.  Welcome.  Sorry you are suffering.  

    Message of support.  Just glad to here you are talking about what is going on.

    You have spoken to @RichardVR great helped me through bad days.  Not forgetting the SCOPE team   Plus I would also say am like yourself not good suffer both anxiety and depression.

    This is worse for me during the afternoons and weekend.  On here to listen give and talk about anything if that helps.  Small steps.

    I understand thank you for sharing by way.  I hope and pray that you feel better.  I use this support me as best I can so that is in my mind does myself good.

    I hope to speak to you soon.. Take care
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  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @thespiceman and @tobyrosco21 It's good to see you both here. I'm likely to be around for some of most weekends, so if chatting itself is any help I'd be very glad to hear from you.
    Best to you both,
    Richard
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @RichardVR Thank you well yes I am always here just sent a message on your wall.  Great to hear from you how are you ?  Thank you I am trying to cope.  Just trying and struggling as all of us do.

    I am one of those people who is always aware of how every body is and have more concern for others than myself.  

    If I can advise or listen or just chat great.  Makes my day.

    Hope to speak to you soon.
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  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi again, @thespiceman
    I saw your post on my wall and very much appreciated it. I did respond using the comment box, but I don't know if you are automatically notified about that? I'm still trying to find my way around the messaging systems here - finding them a tad confusing. I will get there, however.
    In the meantime, perhaps you could tell me a bit more about yourself? What interests you, how you entertain yourself? Just thinking we might find other things in common.
    Best to you,
    Richard
  • tobyrosco21
    tobyrosco21 Community member Posts: 52 Listener
    Making cards at the moment 
  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    @tobyrosco21
    That sounds interesting. Some form of greetings card, or something else?
    Richard
  • tobyrosco21
    tobyrosco21 Community member Posts: 52 Listener
    Mothers day cards
  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Toby, @tobyrosco21
    Very interesting. Cards plural suggests that your making more than a card for a family member, and that raises a number of questions, like do you make them using a computer, do you create your own artwork? One of my principal hobbies is photography and - when I can be bothered - I draw and paint. I've done that very little recently, having somehow lost all confidence in my ability..
    And don't feel you have to answer - I'm just interested.
    Best
    Richard
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @RichardVR   Thank you for reply.  If I have got your message on my wall it will be there.  One of the amazing member of the SCOPE team showed me how to do it.

    Click on to my name up will come a box like this plus comment.  Write what you like then add comment it will come to me.  Not getting used to all this still get confused.

    A lot of it being anxiety and depression.  Stressful since leaving mental health charity.  Also got my all time favourite topic the way utilities treat you and use and abuse.

    Got a bill recently changing to a smart meter see my posts Why utilities so Complicated.  Many comments and much support from every one.

    Any way old company say I pay £31 a month yet with add on leaving charges and anything else I believe they can think of.  Bill more than £180 plus in debt.

    Do not really have it.  Will have to budget and have sent them a stinker of an email.  Complaining like mad because also got a letter telling me have seven days to pay.

    Last letter says will pay from direct debit 14 days from this date.  Do not cancel direct debit.  So every day been looking for this money.  Not gone through.  I am Mr Angry hang you said this now this.

    Any way calmed down had a Curry in Hurry gave recipe in Coffee Lounge for all to use.  Easy to do.

    What else do I do.  One thing started to do well have been doing is creating recipes for all those who wish to and would like to cook.  Some thing simple and easy.  See my posts in Coffee Lounge.

    These are I think ideal for those who want food that is quick and using kitchen gadgets much easier.  I had been doing this a long time ago.  For friends who have a range of disabilities, mental health problems.  Want their independence felt the need to try and have go cooking food.

    In the old days would arrive at my friends house with a box of ingredients.  By way use cheats and a number of short cuts.  Products are out there every body to save you time and energy.  Then I would start at the same time writing it down for them.

    Imagine Valentines Day all the lads wanted my help and advice for their Ladies.  To cook simple food.  One Valentine Day totally knackered.  Going all over.  Phone ringing.  Most would say you show me then I do not have to do it.  Which was not the point really.  I was going to show them then they cook it.

    I guess in the end every one happy then I thought could this be another business.  I said No because when I was making recipes and showing people how to do stuff.  Drinking on the job, glass of wine.  I thought this is not good me and that.  More wine in me than the dish, some days.

    At the end I had to recognise that is going to work.  I am more aware now but I see in the Yellow Pages every bodys doing that now.

    I must stress I have a folder at home with all recipes itemised, numbered and planned out.  So if I can not go wrong.  I find that useful.

    Besides my obsession with creating, making food.  I like all things Italian and I am just switched off a programme on B.B.C. Four on Sicily.  It was OK.

    I eat food from Southern Italy and The Meditterean which is easy to do not hard less is more.

    Got my music Saturday night Soul night always was.  So got my CD's out.  Northern Soul, Motown.  Helps with the illness.

    Like my Jazz and Blues and Swing as well.  Bought compilations of Nat King Cole.  What people forget Nat was a brilliant pianist and Jazz was his thing. 

    Miss my days playing.  I used to play trombone and turned away from the classical stuff into Jazz and Big Band, Swing.  One of the sad things just my illness and addiction got in the way.

    Played in pubs and clubs where more booze is served.  You can see where this going once again.

    I have Classic FM on now helps me sleep relaxed to this.  Sainsbury have with conjuction with Classic FM have a rang of CD's.  Bought a few.  Stirring stuff in the morning when I am down.

    I am as you can see a old fashioned gentleman who I wont tell my age.  From my perspective that is just a number.

    Oh I like comedy done stand up and done funny stuff, scripts and the rest on my life and my family.  Also about my disability, mental health.  If you read my posts you will see my wit and charm.  My humour the way I say things.

    I have done Panto and serious Stuff but used this to generate how an audience works.  Watch Sir Ken Dodd brilliant master. 

    I lived in a family who were not real in the sense it was like living in a Giles Cartoon.  My view or at worse a Horror Show.  The Addams Family.  Nightmare.  I have one of my big white pills now Doctor thank you.

    Use to talk about them on Stage and in Charities use my humour and dry wit to make those who have had a bad day feel better in themselves.  Laughter is the best Medicine.

    Having left recently laughter, tears of joy what I would bring.  My support worker see her now laughing at my silly jokes, one liners plus the rest of the group.  Especially three ladies on the end of the table.  Always sat there.  I surely they all need a joke or a silly story.  All of us do.  Problem was I had this Team Manager who was my stooge.  Only one who did not really laugh or pretend to.

    It helps I know it did because I have been told.  Few hours take away the pain make me happy, make me laugh.

    Been doing that from about seven years old till my drinking got really bad and got hold.  I am and would like to try one day.  Get anxious doing it then I could reach for a drink.  Not now.

    Besides I probably out of date for Modern Audiences.  Went a while ago to see one of these new guys forget who.  Not funny did not understand any of it.

    I think I have said enough Oh Yes I like Opera's all Italian Puccini, Verdi.  La Boheme and La Traviata seen them.  The music the costumes the aria's.  In the long distance past met Ladies who were friends and got interested in the Classical stuff then wanted to see Ballets, Opera's.  So off we all went.  Sparkling frocks and all.

    What an experience.  Worth the money.

    I hope that is plenty to get your juices going.

    Take care my friend great to hear from you.  Thank you for you support.
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  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @thespiceman and Wow! You've certainly given me a lot to think about there!

    You'll probably laugh at me, but I wonder if you've contacted your MP about the utiities? 
    I did some temp office work for one of the utilities once - can't remember which one, oddly enough - and I quit asap. Hated it. Bunch of married women, secondary wage earners, getting their jollies by sneering at clients whose benefit had failed and an office 'manager' who wrote all the nasty notices and who had the literary gifts of a koala. Proof, if needed, that whilst 'the cream always rises', 'sh*t floats'.
    My home situation is a little bit odd in that I reside where my wife works and the only utility we get a bill for is the phone. That will change dramatically when she retires in the next year or so and we have to find somewhere else. I do not look forward to that, I promise you.
    I will look up your posts in the coffee lounge regarding cooking. My wife is a professional cook, so I don't get to do much of it, but I always used to enjoy it. Was married for a long time to a lady with a cornflower and white-flower intolerance and was amazed to discover what one could do with wholemeal. Choux pastry was my favourite.
    You have considered turning this into a business? But you've not taken it on because of potential alcohol problems, it seems. And I am sorry people have taken advantage in the past. That seems to be the modern way. And someone as clearly generous as you are is too vulnerable to being used.
    I LOVE all things Italian. We've managed to get to Italy three or four times in the last few years and our last trip was to Sicily. I did not want to come home. My wife and I are addicted to Inspector Montalbano when the shows are on and, if we can ever get some money together again, we might try to get to where it was filmed.
    I wonder if you've ever read Giovanni Guareschi's 'Don Camillo' books? Hard to get hold of now, but a charming read.
    Northern Soul and Motown are foreign territory to me. Can you recommend some particular tracks and/or artists? I've listened to a lot of intriguing stuff thanks to comments from friends, including Mongol Throat Singing, which is both weird and absolutely absorbing.
    Classic FM is my station of choice. I'm not much of an opera fan but was probably put off it by certain renderings of German stuff back in my youth. Big women singing for hours about something that is supposed to need doing urgently! Love a lot of Wagner overtures, though, and am primarily an orchestral music fan. My lady has introduced me to the ballet, and some of that I like very much.
    Is it disability that has taken you away from your trombone? I started to tech myself to play the electronic keyboard a few years ago and didn't do too badly, but also didn't make sufficient progress for me to be satisfied. I think it must be really awful to have the ability to make music and not be able to exercise it.
    Jazz I have never really got into, though somewhere I have a Bix Beiderbecke album. Unfortunately it's on vinyl and I no longer have a vinyl player.
    An old-fashioned gentleman? Yes. I get that. I'm happy to admit to my 66 years though. And I get your wit too. Grateful to be on the receiving end of it.
    My son has done some stand-up and is actually quite good, and I like a lot of modern comedians. I particularly like Rob Brydon, Sarah Pascoe, Dara O'Brien, and a lot of others. Some of the moderns, though, are just not funny.
    Seems you have been generous too in using your humour to benefit others. You have my respect, @thespiceman, as well as my best regards.
    Forgive me if I've missed anything here. I hope I will come back to it and fill in any gaps :smile: I notice you've not mentioned movies or TV. Our own top-rated shows in recent times have been 'Would I Lie To You?' and 'The Secret Life of the Zoo'. I love animals and SLotZ is one of those shows which I think would convert even the hardest among us. Got some pretty young keepers in it too.
    Getting late, I will call it a day for now and look forward to hearing from you again, whilst I will try to get a look at your stuff in the Coffee Lounge :smile:
    My respect, and my warmest best wishes always,
    Richard
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @RichardVR   Thank you for reply.  Guess I did write a lot did not realise.  Great do forget what I am saying.  Going over that now. 

    Addiction blight of my life just talking about it helps.  

    I am going to photocopy every thing and send it to MP who represents this area I talking to you from.

    I know what is going on.  I was offered the same as you.  Went on a trail one of those schemes working for a Utility Company.  First five minutes I recall this woman going on about money and how much.  Could do the telesales bit.  Problem was them trying to get me to stand on one occasion.  Lack of sales and another time, cut my bonus because of this nasty piece of work.  Did not deserve it.  

    Attitudes and schemers, back stabbers and the rest.  I was a fool to try it. 

    Any way one of life experience.

    I wanted to go Italy at one time when I had money.  Problem was my Mother who had a particular hatred of any thing foreign.  Every thing from food to the culture.  I believe it is xenophobia.

    This meant torture in my childhood and into adulthood.  Racist as well.  I had friends of mixed faiths and cultures and her interfering attitude cost me a lot of friendships.  Unrepairable, evocable damage.

    Once she offended some Italian friends of mine and she ended up being thrown out of a restaurant they owned.

    I explained in my anger these people are connected you know.  Had not got a clue.  When I told her what I meant her demeanour changed.  I will be shot by the Mafia she hollered.  I said you never know.  I enjoyed saying that, do not lie but some times you have to.

    Never went abroad because of her and my Father as well.  Tried several times but when you live with bullies what do you expect.  May be one day.  Who knows.


    You were asking about Northern Soul and Motown.  This is music created by in the late fifties and early sixties  Most of the performers were black artists and as the years went on.  It was taken up by white people as their music.

    In those days black artists were never recognised and especially the Northern Soul Scene.  This was dance music for white audiences.  Played in the clubs in the North in Wigan the Casino, Manchester the Wheel and in Newcastle the Oxford Galleries.  

    Then it was the following for many artists to do songs many of them limited print runs.  Only way to make a living.  Get royalties from doing Northern Soul because major labels have used and abused them.  Now penniless.

    In the early to mid sixties groups like the Beatles and the  Rolling Stones started to do covers of these songs on their albums.

    Come the late sixties and early seventies still going strong, come the eighties and nineties dying.  That is when I started to get interested.  Always collected Motown the artists, Stevie Wonder, Four Tops, Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, Smoky Robinson and the Miracles plus many others.

    I had a private personal record collection that I hid at a friends house, because of racist parents.  Then I found out about the Northern Soul Scene.  Started really back in the middle eighties with a lot of bands doing covers of Northern Soul.

    Remember Tainted Love Soft Cell that was a cover done by a Gloria Jones the original.  All hell broke loose by nineties.  Mecca was Blackpool and these fairly old artists who started it all began to appear, become stars again.

    In my time have met quite a few of them.  Seen a few in concert.  Lucky to have seen The Four Tops with lead singer Levi Stubbs plus the Temptations .  Sat  in a room with Edwin Starr.   Lived in Nottinghamshire for a while.  Came to a club and met some friends I knew and got introduced.  Spent a lot of time talking.  Especially the mistreat of artists for the label. in those days it happened. Watched and listen my favourite Motown lady Brenda Holloway.  You will know the music.  All the time compilation albums come on the market.

    In the end all memories.  I love to talk about.  No one realised as they do know now these people all poor made no money so continually working.

    I wanted so much to go back playing myself but when you have such deep scars from people who are supposed to love you.  Also I did have a think about it but I wish may be do it again.  Problem is them the family.  Some members are alive and if I decide to do it more trouble like last time.

    Do not know where I am and last place rubbishing me in front of neighbours new friends all lies.  How do you forgive people like that.  I hope and pray but not for them.  My day will come when I will enter heaven and they will enter hell.  I do really believe that and God knows it to.  All the time I did do things like performing, stand up all jealousy and made me belittled and bullied.

    Never turned up and tried unsuccessfully to stop me.

    There loss not mine.

    I do watch films as I like to call them.  Talking Pictures have what sort I like, get disturbed by many of todays films.

    Can not watch violence, brutal, harsh abusive films.  Not too long and easy to follow.  Like M.G.M. Musicals.  Up beat feel good films nothing depressing.  Film Noir.

    Same with TV  nothing really I can watch.  Mainly Arts, informative, educational programmes.  I use the TV to educate me.  Favourite channels usually B.B.C. Four plus cooking channels.  Only used to watch these for recipe ideas but now use them for cooking techniques.  New one PBS America a lot of factual stuff.

    Any way I hope I have given you a lot to debate next time.

    Take care.


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  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @thespiceman
    Just a short response for now, but could you maybe list me a 'top ten' of your music favourites that I might find and be able to listen to on Youtube? Ill get back to the rest of your post as soon as I can, though it may be tomorrow.
    Warmest best wishes, always,
    Richard
  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi again, @thespiceman
    Managed to get some time to come back to your post. Just listening to Martha Reeves and the Vandellas on Youtube. Have heard 'Nowhere to Run' and am now listening to 'Heatwave'.
    If it helps to talk about your addiction issues, don't hesitate. I'm only addicted to nicotine - am now a vaper - but it's a close-run thing with alcohol where I am concerned, so I'm very, very careful. But at least I am able to be. Whatever it is that programmes us to become alcohol or drug-dependent seems, fortunately, to have passed me by, but I take no credit for that.
    'Dancing in the Street' just finished playing...Now listening to 'Forget Me Not'.
    So we had similar experiences working with the utilities? I am sure that the attitudes I met there were general. I had a stint very early in my working life - I was about 18 I think - working in what was then called the Labour Exchange. I recall that attitudes in general were much the same. Power somehow goes to their heads.
    Now listening to 'Third Finger Left Hand'. Listening to these tracks, I remember them of course from my own early life. 'Third Finger' came out in 1967, when I would have been - help - sixteen years old. I'd have caught it on 'Top Of The Pops' and at my local youth club. At the time, I know, I loved watching and listening to them.
    Now listening to Brenda Holloway, 'When I'm Gone'. Don't remember this lady, but what a lovely voice!
    Asked in my last post for your favourite top ten and didn't realize there were so many artistes named in your text :) so now I'm listening to the ones I can pull up. Youtube's just taken me back to Martha Reeves, so I'm hearing 'Love (Makes me do foolish things). Gorgeous sound from those gorgeous ladies.
    I am sorry your mother's racism gave you such a hard time. I have encountered things like it but, overall, have been fortunate that way. I knew an elderly lady until very recently who flatly refused to have anything to do with anything German!
    Ah. Miss Holloway's 'You've made me so very happy'. I do remember hearing and enjoying this.
    My mother, brother and I were very poor in the 60's and I think my entire record collection consisted of two cheap classical LPs  :):smile:
    I have always detested the way black people and black culture have been exploited. 
    Now my good lady is here, after a bath, and it's my turn to make dinner so I have to call it a day for now. I will, however, get back to you.
    Warmest best wishes, always,
    Richard

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  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @RichardVR   Thank you for reply and your time.   I thought I send you a little bit of knowledge and what I do know and the background to lot of the songs.  You are listening.

    In those days if you were a black artist you were getting racism all the time.  Then being worked to death by your label that was promoting you.  Every one thinks Motown looked after there own people.  Being a label for black artists.

    The label started to do promotion in the UK and in 1965 came over here did a tour.  Met a few people who remember it.  Those days seeing black artists perform was too good to be true.  Remember in their own country the problems. . 

    I am trying to find the rarities.  Also in those days if you were a black woman you got told by the label to sing and perform, behave have manners.  You will sing what were are writing for you.  Usually Holland. Dozier Holland the main songwriters.  Smokey Robinson great guy wrote over 200 songs for every body.  Especially the Ladies and the Temptations. 

    I did not know this but have found out had a lady on the label called Chris Clarke who was a tall leggy blonde.  Her records very few.  Very rare.

    One of my favourite stories which is known they had a lady called Mary Wells sang My Guy.  Released very few records got tired of the Management of Motown stood up for womens rights.  I believe she bought he contract out.  Signed to Atlantic Label and then the problems started.

    Motown never released any of her records.  I believe even now still unreleased at lot of them.  I have two I found that did get released under duress from fans and the public.  Two Lovers and Straight To the Punch where you can hear the drums the sound of Motown.

    I have had the joys and sadness from this music because no one realises the stories like this.  Mary Wells kept touring up to early nineties died year or two later.

    All the music of Motown has a backing band called the Funk Brothers it came out that they got paid nothing and worked to death.  Many died broke.  On a lot of the early stuff Marvin Gaye plays piano,  Smokey and the Temptations plus Martha Reeves, another group The Marvelettes were put to being backing vocalists.

    Stevie Wonder by way started very young and really since to now has been involved in writing, playing on records of others, producing.  My other group to look at is the Supremes with Diana Ross.  There are really good records.  Especially the rare stuff which I am searching for.  Had eleven number ones in America.

    Other ones to look out for are The Originals produced by Marvin Gaye and with Barrett, Strong songwriters and Smokey the Producer The Temptations.  Gladys Knight and The Pips before they had a great song I heard It On The Grape Vine  The original did not like it so gave to Marvin Gaye instead.

    Brenda Holloway I mentioned her does gigs only in America now and to Latino audiences I heard or intimate shows.  Most of the songs written by Smokey Robinson.  Very few releases and not many songs.  Again Motown Managers. 

    Worth a look out for their harmony gospel records.   Many of the male groups were from the church like Four Tops and Temptations.  Been in gospel choirs. Trying to get these.  Motown started down the Funk road in the seventies not really for me but they are worth a listen.   

    My favourite period is the sixties the best period.  People forget these records.  I thought you be interested.  A little history.

    Take care speak to soon.
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  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Victoriad
    and it's a pleasure to hear from you. My school library is where I found Don Camillo too! So very many years ago. I vividly remember the little line drawing illustrations, too. And yes, seems to me too that Don Camillo represented a kind of Christian Socialist alternative to communism. I loved the characters in it, very much.
    Thank you for the heads-up regarding programmes on Italy and Sicily. I saw Rome Unpacked and thoroughly enjoyed it, and I've seen other things but tended not to remember the programme names :blush: I have a memory like a machine-gun punctured sieve.
    I am at times almost reluctant to watch - when I do they yearning to go there, to be there is sometimes almost overwhelming. The Greek islands affect me in much the same way and the scenery alone in Captain Corelli's Mandolin can bring me close to tears.
    Among my misfortunes I've had some very good luck and have managed to get to Italy four or five times. The first time I was 16 and went on a school trip which took us down through Florence to Sorrento and then back up through Rome. A key part of that trip was my first visit to Pompeii which I immediately decided I wanted to return to. My place on that trip was sponsored by my then church, as I recall, otherwise it would have been impossible, and it took me some forty years to make the first return trip. The last trip was called 'Fire and Ice' and took us first to Vesuvius (another trip to Pompeii being part of it), then to Sicily and Mount Etna, followed by a view from the sea of Stromboli. The 'ice' element was a trip to a glacier on the way back.
    So your late mum was a native of Cremona? I wish very much that I had been able to meet her. Although I am far, far, far from fluent in it myself, I think Italian is probably the most beautiful language in the world.
    I believe, incidentally, that Walter Presents on All4 is about to release an Italian based detective series. Haven't yet caught the name, but it will be worth watching out for.
    Warmest best wishes to you,
    Richard
  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @thespiceman
    and I'm back to tackle some more of your marathon message  :)

    As I suggested in my last message you've kind of reintroduced me to a lot of names that I used to be reasonably familiar with, but my teens were not a good time really - I had no friends or social life to speak of and was always 'odd one out' at places like the youth club.

    Now listening to 'Tainted Love - Soft Cell' and remember it well.

    You certainly seem to have got around the Scene in those days! Much more than I ever could have done.

    Do you still have your instrument? I would love to hear you play. Do you want to talk about your family issues at all? They seem to have been very, very destructive. Very much a pity that we can choose our friends but not our family.

    I grew up calling them 'films' too :) but so many of my interactions over the last few years have been with Americans, and so many refer to the 'movies' over here now, that I hesitate to use a word so many people seem to have forgotten.

    Talking Pictures is a good channel, isn't it. I've been able to watch a lot of old favourites on it, though I actually don't get to watch very much of anything. My wife's working hours are such that our evening often doesn't really start until about 8.00 pm. By the time we've had dinner it is pretty close to bedtime for both of us so we watch 'easy viewing' that won't wind us up before we try to sleep.

    I've watched war and historical films/programmes since I was a child - my dad was a soldier and, being born in the 50s, the Second World War was still a recent memory for very many. My dad narrowly missed it, but served in BAOR and in Cyprus. Anyway, watching such things means, of course, that I have to be able to tolerate a certain level of filmic violence. I cannot and do not watch 'horror' films - there's horror enough in everyday life I think, and do not watch anything which exploits violence or abuse to give their film a kick.

    I have a soft spot for some of the MGM musicals, and I get my 'upbeat' films from oldies and from animations. My principal 'oldie' pick-ups are 'Scrooge' with Alastair Sim and 'The Bishop's Wife' with David Niven and Cary Grant. First prize for upbeat animation goes, for me, to Disney's 'Mulan', closely followed by 'Up' and 'Moana' (which we watched for the first time recently)

    With TV, as I mentioned, we tend to watch 'easy-viewing'. 'Father Brown' has been our dinnertime companion for some time, and my partner (surprise, surprise) loves 'Call the Midwife'. 'The Secret Life of the Zoo' is another regular, and beyond that I tend to watch documentaries or recorded old films.

    Going to leave it there for now and will get back to your subsequent mail when I can  :)

    Take care of yourself. Warmest best wishes, always,
    Richard
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