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Hi I'm Rebecca ask me questions about Mental Health

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  • Louise81
    Louise81 Community member Posts: 2 Listener
    Hi Rebecca
    Thank you for your reply, im not 100% sure on what caused it but we are putting it down to a stomach bug he had for about 5 weeks. He had to send samples off and tried different medication to try and sort it but they made him ill. Since then he just got worse, he felt the councillors were not helping and they were making him feel worse, and he felt they weren't listening to him. I feel alot better now with your advise and ill wait till hes ready to see someone. Thank you so much for your help
    Louise
  • RebeccaMHadvisor
    RebeccaMHadvisor Community member Posts: 99 Courageous
    I find that many people feel that they are not listened too and sometimes it is a case of finding the right person to support you. Try and encourage him to talk to you. Make sure he knows that you are there to help him and to support him and that you will help him with whatever he needs.
    Rebecca
  • rachy1108
    rachy1108 Community member Posts: 4 Listener
    Hello Rebecca 
    Ive been looking for help for so many months now regarding my husband. My husband was diagnosed with schizophrenia 12 years ago, and has recently been taken of pip as he failed the assessment  we put in for mandatory reconsideration and also got declined there. So we have appealed to a tribunal. I sent the paper work of to the tribunal in January but im finding it so hard to get evidence for his mental health has this mental health team does not seem to be helping at all i must of phoned them several time to get evidence of his problems but there's always some excuse they give me that they cant help with the evidence. Also we have just found out from Universal credit that my husbands  money for Limited capability for work and work-related activity has also been stopped they have not given us any acknowledgement or no warning of this stopping. We are just lost my husband is now suffering from panic attacks and im on the edge of having a mental breakdown with depression and anxiety. I thought i could do this on my own and deal with my problems by myself without my husband knowing as i know he cant deal with it but i cant i just dont know where to go and who ti turn to anymore and im really hoping you can help as i feel im getting pulled into the darkest hole and theres no coming back from it and im worried for my husband as well as iam his carer  

    Thankyou
    Rachael
  • RebeccaMHadvisor
    RebeccaMHadvisor Community member Posts: 99 Courageous
    Hi @rachy1108

    I am so sorry to hear about the issues you are having with both the DWP assessments and the metal health team who are there to support you and your husband. I would love to be able to give you the answer that will enable you to get everything resolved but from the experience I have with the DWP the process is long and slow and appears to be very unfair. There are some threads relating to benefits and Scope has a great advice page that I recommend you read, if you haven't already.

    I can hear how worried you are about him and how this is also impacting on you and your mental health. It is really important that you look after yourself and access support if you need it. You can't be there for your husband and support him in the way he needs it if you are suffering yourself.

    Rebecca 
  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,793 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @rachy1108, so sorry to hear about your circumstances. Just to add to the above, it might be a good idea to visit Citizens Advice for face to face advice and see if they can provide support: you can find your local branch by searching their website. Please do keep in touch- as Rebecca says, it's important to look after yourself and I hope you can find the support you need.
  • alisha22
    alisha22 Community member Posts: 320 Pioneering
    Hello Rebecca, I just wanted to know I have been referred to a mental health team after been passed from pillow to post. The doctor at this mental health place has given me 25mg quietiapine to help me sleep, they don't help much so he has up the dosage. I sometimes have some sleep and at times I don't. What I wanted to know was what about my other issues regarding my mental health, I just wanted to get them to speak to me on a regular basis but it seems they just focused on the sleep pattern, is this normal practice. Plead advice.
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
  • RebeccaMHadvisor
    RebeccaMHadvisor Community member Posts: 99 Courageous
    Hi @alisha22

    Sleep is really important when it comes to mental health and practitioners do focus on sleep and sleep patterns a lot, it can help them understand where you are and an improved sleep pattern and improve your mental health, but having said that it is also really important that you feel listened to and if there are things that you want to talk about they should allow you to do that. 
    Perhaps the next time you have an appointment you could try explaining that you feel that they are too focused on your sleep and ask them to explain how they think that getting your sleep patterns sorted they feel this will help?

    Rebecca
  • sarahD80
    sarahD80 Community member Posts: 7 Listener

    Hi, I'm Rebecca. 

    I am a qualified hypnotherapist and a counselor volunteering for ChildLine and the NSPCC. I work to support children and young people with a variety of mental health needs. I have spent 20 years working within local government in both social housing and social services supporting people who are vulnerable and with complex needs. I am a keen advocate of supporting survivors of domestic abuse. 


    Ask me questions about Mental Health now.

    Hi Rebecca. Can you help me please. 
    I Suffer with depression and severe anxiety. I've also got very high blood pressure and suffer with panic attacks. I also suffered 13 years of domestic violence and abuse from a previous partner who also raped me more than several times. I won't go anywhere on my own at all. I'm in a right mess and really don't know in witch way to turn or go. I'm skipping meals constantly in really low mood. Lacking in any form of motivation. And really really don't like asking at all for help. As I think I can take the world on. But I know that I can't. It's my benifits I've been on E.s.a. For nearly 2and a half years. But all I get is £114:54 a fortnight no more that's it. And I more than struggling. I have no other one to turn to as my family is a complete waste of time. And have not bothered with for the last 5 years.the only family member I look up to and that's my uncle whom I live with. And had been a good support for me. But it fells as if I'm screaming and shouting at the top of my voice but no one is listening to me. I'm just the girl who everyone has forgotten about and don't deserve no help or support in life. I'm the girl who carries a big smile on my face.and pretends everything is OK. When really it's killing me and behind the closed door I brake my heart everyday saying why me. Everything has got on top of me. And fells like a burden i can't get rid of. Nor have I got anyone else to help me. I feel isolated, constantly numb and alone. But it's not just just me I deal with its my uncle to has he's got learning difficulties and disability's.
    And I could never burden him with my worries. So can you please please please help me as I'm at a complete loss
    Yours faithfully 
    Miss sarah j Davies 

    Many thanks in this.
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi, my 18 year old son has suffered from reactive depression in the past as a youngster and he is fine now. However, he has fond from a very smiley happy boy with infinite facial expression and bags of confidence to a young man with a very blank face and monotone voice most of the time. It’s become an issue from time to time at school and college as people say they think he is unenthusiastic or bored or other negative expressions some times. When he attended Camhs initially they suggested he may be on the autistic spectrum but I disagreed as did my son. He says he is happy and doesn’t know why he is like this. Is it normal for a teenage boy to have issues with facial expression and monotone voice?  He is an online gamer fan. He can use his expressions and tones but he has a habit of being monotone. As a mum this worries me. Please advise.
  • Applepearmommabear
    Applepearmommabear Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    Hi everyone, Iv`e been on esa since august, had my assessment in September then on 10th Dec 2017 received a phone text saying I didn`t have to send more sick notes as I had qualified for esa but no letter, by the 22 Dec I decided to phone, the gentleman that I spoke with told me that I had been put in wrag and was very apologetic as I hadn`t received a letter explaining this and they had made this decision 11th nov, being worried that I had now past the month in which I could ask for a reconsideration. After the  Christmas holidays I phoned again explained that I had never had a letter and that I had to phone up to find out about the outcome and asked if I could put in for an MR, she agreed and gave me a date when to have it in, I also asked for my medical report, Two weeks later the report came, I was heartbroken and reduced to tears reading the inaccuracy and dishonesty the assessor had wrote about me, my name was on the report but it wasn`t about me!!After sending a 5 page letter why I think I should be placed in the support group and also sending more evidence with a letter from my doctor,  After 3 months I finally received a letter saying "You indicated that you may be providing further information ( Which I did) but however as of today no information has been received".  I got the 15 points but she said I was put in the limited capability for work related activity. The letter also says that further  evidence will be taken into consideration when it is received.  What I would like to know is do I start a Tribunal or if I send more evidence to DWP will it hold off the one month with the tribunal? Thank you

    Read more at https://community.scope.org.uk/profile/applepearmommabear#temcFXARjjURqesj.99
  • freckles
    freckles Community member Posts: 258 Pioneering
    Have you had your M.R. decision letter back yet
  • Saja
    Saja Community member Posts: 5 Listener
    Hi @RebeccaMHadvisor,
    I’m new to this group, and I would be grateful if someone can guide me through. My brother is 23 years old, has mild cerebral pulsy with mild learning difficulties. We’ve been in the UK for about 5 years, and he’s struggling to fit in or learn. Because he arrived old to the uk, he didn’t go to the school, so we tried to enroll him to different colleges and private courses but he always fail. Last tutor said he can’t stay still for a short time in one place, and has very weak concentration on lessons even with providing him special tutor who volunteered to be with him, as he lose his concentration very quickly especially when he hold his phone. He couldn’t make any friends although he love mixing with people but his problem that he doesn’t know how to interact socially. I have spoken to the mental health service if someone can help him as he’s really willing to receive help but they said this’s not the right service for him. I would really appreciate if anyone can suggest where is the right place to get support for him.
    kind regards,
    Saja

  • RebeccaMHadvisor
    RebeccaMHadvisor Community member Posts: 99 Courageous

    Hi @sarahD80

    Thank you so much for feeling that you can open up to me and the Scope Community, they really are a supportive group of people.

    I can hear that you are finding things really difficult and you are struggling.

    You really do deserve to get help and support with how you are feeling both physically and mentally and the first step is opening up to someone and admitting that you are struggling and you have done that hear. This first step can really be the hardest step to take.

    I do understand your reasons for not wanting to open up to your Uncle but talking about your worries isn’t a burden, it is part of building relationships with people.

    I can hear that you feel that you don’t like asking for help, we hear that all the time. Asking for help isn’t a failure and it isn’t a burden, it is part of being human. We can’t all be strong all of the time and sometimes we have to let others help us. There are different support networks out there like the Scope community and also Mind - https://www.mind.org.uk/. You can also access help and support from Domestic Abuse networks and Women's Aid are amazing https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

    You can also speak with your GP but I know that sometimes this can be a bit frightening and daunting, but they are they to make sure that you get that help and support that you need and deserve.

    Rebecca


  • RebeccaMHadvisor
    RebeccaMHadvisor Community member Posts: 99 Courageous

    Hi @debbiedo49

    I can hear that you are worried about your son and the negative comments I think are very unhelpful. I am wondering how it is that your son came to be supported by CAHMS. It is very difficult for me to give any definitive advice but from what you have said, this could be a sign of aspergers or it could be a typical 18 year old who likes to play video games. I am wondering if perhaps a conversation with CAHMS might be useful as to their reasoning for their assessment? Does your son still attend CAHMS or have/need any other support from other agencies?

    Rebecca


  • RebeccaMHadvisor
    RebeccaMHadvisor Community member Posts: 99 Courageous
    Hi @Applepearmommabear

    I am really sorry but benefits isn't something I know that much about but it is something that is discussed at length within the community and may people do  and have struggled with their assessments.. There is a section with the forum that you might find useful.

    I can hear that this is causing you at lot of anxiety and stress and I am wondering what support you have around you to help you cope with this?

    Rebecca
  • RebeccaMHadvisor
    RebeccaMHadvisor Community member Posts: 99 Courageous
    Hi @Saja

    Welcome to the community. I can hear that you are worried about your brother and him struggling to be able to fit in.

    There are a couple of websites that you can try that will be able to give you some ideas and suggestions on support groups and networks for both you and your brother. The first is CP Teens UK and the second Cerebral Palsy Org

    Hope this is a help to you both

    Rebecca
  • mia63101
    mia63101 Community member Posts: 18 Courageous
    Hi, My husband of over 30 years is in the process of sorting paperwork ready for when he leaves.
    I have not been in charge of the financial things since my life changed , although I try to buy my own things. I am now in a wheelchair. I used to be social, active, ride horses and had run my own business, while bringing up the children too. It was a good life and we were very happy. Now, he is in control of everything from grocery shopping to paying the bills. He has become mr Nasty, then mr Nice, I hardly know which I am getting.
    i think he has someone else. We are quite remote where we live, so I do not see anyone at all except the postman! He works during the week. I have to ask him to take me out on a weekend to maybe have a lunch, or for us both to go shopping of an evening.
    sometimes he will and it is lovely, other times he causes an argument out of nowhere. He used to be so loving, and caring,now he looks irritated and turns the tv up when I have to use my nebilser, yet starts refilling my meds pots up when people are here, and reminding me to take them.
    He says he stopped caring a long time ago, and then runs me into the ground and says really nasty things. Then when I can’t seem to take any more, he says (this morning) i’ll get you well again, then I’ll leave.
    He seems to give the impression to all outside, and our families that he is a caring husband, looking after his ill wife, but no-one knows what he is really like. I don’t think they would believe me.
    I am at a loss to know what to do anymore.

  • freckles
    freckles Community member Posts: 258 Pioneering
    Firstly in sickness and in health should apply to him yes i get it its going to be tough for both of you have you no family or close friends you can confide in
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    My dad passed away suddenly a week ago and I’m really devastated. My son has suffered from reactive depression in the past and I’m terrified that I am going to miss the signs starting up. I’m suffering mental health issues myself. 
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