M.P complaint - Page 2 — Scope | Disability forum
Please read our updated community house rules and community guidelines.

M.P complaint

24

Comments

  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017
    Words fail me. I am so very, very sorry.
    Love to you and your husband
    Richard
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman
    Thank you has always for your support. 
    I'm still shaken up, upset and angry by the whole experience on Thursday.
    But I'm not the kind of person to give up.
    I have already sent an email to the case worker, at my MPs office.
    "So they should have it on monday"

    My husband has said, he is going to contact DWP on Monday morning, to start the complaints procedure.

    Can I just say! That the reporter who attended. was not happy with the whole thing. But there was nothing she could do for me.

    HI @Colourfull
    Thank you for your support.
    Good for you! And I hope all goes well for your assessment?
    Please let me know how you get on?

    HI @richard1234
    Thank you for your support has always.
    All the assessor did was go through the questions, and tried to trip me up on all my answers. When he mentioned my infections "he called them rashes" so I showed him graphic pics of all of them, and said "do they look like rashes to you" 
    There's to much to go through on here. If you knew the things he asked me, you would be disgusted.

    Thank you everyone
    Bev x
  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @bevt2017
    Nothing needed explaining. I was beyond disgusted already. Take care of yourself, 
    Warmest best wishes@bevt2017
    Richard
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Thank you for reply.  I thank you for kind words always a pleasure to listen and give support

    I hope and pray that some action in due course will happen..

    Always here for reassurance.

    In my thoughts and prayers

    Take care

    Your friend

    The Spiceman


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman
    Good evening!
    Hope you are Well?.

    I did forget to mention! That a question came up, about communication? 
    I said I talk to the community on scope. " HE looked puzzled"
    when I started to explain who scope was. He cut me off and said. "I'm well aware of scope"
    I must of struck a nerve  ;)
    Bev 
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good evening hope your Sunday went quietly and try to relax.

    Thank you for asking how are am. The question of communication yes I agree.  I think he obviously knew about SCOPE.  All the good stuff they do.

    I hope and pray you pass.

    Always in my thoughts and prayers

    Take care
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman

    Thank you for all your support! has always.

    I hope you had a good day also?

    I have decided to make a complaint    

    thanks 
    Bev
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good afternoon how are you?  Hope you are trying to take it easy.

    I forgot to add when you sent my message.  I had this remembering stuff I had said.  My emotions and feelings come back.  Just a thought.

    All I have done and said to the assessor.  Wish I had said this and that.  This is natural and I do not what you to worry.  You will I know, I would.

    Please can I say you are an amazing person.  You have done nothing wrong.  You are suffering right now but I will not let them get to me.  I hope and pray for a wonderful outcome.

    I say this to myself, but the implies to you and anybody of the community who goes through this trauma.

    I will be praying for you.  

    Your friend
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman

    I do that a lot!
    my husband tells me off all the time, about me over thinking things. And when I start something "anything" I start to regret it straight away.

    I'm not bothered about the assessors report, my husband said I did a fantastic job of explaining myself. "even though he tried to confuse me"

    I'm just so tired of fighting all the time.
    I don't have family or friends that visit me, and I feel like a prisoner in my body and home.
    I cry at night because I cant cope, and no one understands what I have to deal with everyday.
    its pure hell being deaf and having this tinnitus it just doesn't stop.
    I pray that I fall to sleep and never wake up.

    You are a good person 
    Thank you so much for your support
    Bev
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bev2017 Thank you for reply.  Yes I know and do understand.  I am your buddy here so just remember first of all that.  I am here to help listen and just be a friend most of all.  You are just like me.  I'm deaf all my hearing messed up,

    Have a genetic disorder plus addiction going some days I can not hear a thing.

    My pet hate people do not talk clearer.  Nice and slow no mouthing the words.  Had that the other week.  Silly woman all I want to do was ram her head into the TV in the room.

    Sorry I have this sometimes shock people when I say some thing I just say it.

    Went to the hearing clinic last time.  Opticians now do hearing test.  Total idiot who did mine.  I could not hear what he was saying.  Had a bad case of bad breath.  I kept saying pardon. Stinky smelly guy.

    Had to stop this had enough.  More like a comic skit out of Hancocks' Half Hour.  With me as the lad himself.

    Well he said you have a hearing problem.  Just to be sure make you another appointment.  Me gagging want to be sick.  Got the gist of that more money to spend.  If you do not mind and ran out.

    Anxiety, sweating again.  Got a load of Emails how was your experience at .  Filled out the questionnaire.  Ranted and raved.

    I do feel for you.  I know it is not easy having these issues and problems.

    It is worth writing them out.  Making a diary to help,  I used to do this.  Your have aright to be angry.

    I hope this might help.  You say have no family.  You have a family here.  This community.  I call them my family of the forum.  I am also proud to call you a friend.

    May be your partner needs to say to your now and again.  I am here to listen and I care and I love you.  I do know he does.  Many men find it hard to say that.

    Struggling in a relationship with any body who has a disability.

    I was in my relationship with a disability plus my addiction.  Made for hard living.

    I have lost so many people to my addiction.  Ladies who were probably not right for me yet I was trying to cope.

    It is all about small steps.  What do wish to do ?  How would changes benefit you.?

    What do you do to get yourself in a positive mood?

    What would make you happy?

    These are all things I say to myself.

    Use small steps .  Make a plan.  Make a drawing of a ladder.  Put rungs on.  Each rung.  Start on bottom easier thing you can achieve first.

    Them goals each rung make a plan.  Could be with your partner.  Top rung is the thing the impossible one.  Could be the unreachable.

    Remember you are in control you can do this.  I had to change stop drinking went on few lifestyle well being course.  All ladies no men.  Anxiety, depression really bad.

    Found GOD found new friends got rid of a lot.

    I did this over a long time.  None is rushing you are they.

    Please speak to me again.  Just ideas, suggestions.  Might not be for you, some might not wish to do.  Your choice your life.

    Always in my thoughts and prayers

    Your friend
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    HI @thespiceman

    I'm sorry you made me laugh, about the man with bad breath.  :D

    You have a temper like me! apparently mine's due to early menopause. I get really angry when people talk to me, and I tell them "sorry I'm deaf' and they still keep talking to me. I always get angry with doctors "except my neurologist" my husband will tell them I'm deaf, and to write things down for me "They never do" and continue to talk to my husband. I feel like a child, waiting for the adults to talk, and if im good maybe my daddy will tell me later.

    Today I got very annoyed at a lady from the carers. She came to my house to talk about my daughter. I was sat at the table for an hour, while my husband and her had a conversation. "I wasn't included" later he told me she was asking about me?

    I would ask your doctor to refer you to a audiologist. They are very quick, and I've never noticed them having bad breaths lol.

    I'm the same! all my so called friends work, and have no idea what it's like for me. Fighting P.i.P nothing. I always say God forbid something happens to there loved ones. and they find themselves in my place. How would they feel to be regected. 

    You sound like you have been through a lot. I worry all the time about wether I will start being addicted to pain relief. It can't be helped. So my option is to live in pain aswell. "I don't think so"

    The assessor asked me what my hobby was? I said I don't have one is fighting P.i.P since 2016 a hobby? "NO reply"

    Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day?. I am looking forward to the fundraising pack scope have done. I still get emotional when I read it.
    You are proberbly one of the people who can relate.

    You are deffenatly my friend.
    We have a FRIEND in common also. She's amazing like you, full of support.
    I need to be her support now.

    Take care friend
    Bev  :)
  • cooper1965
    cooper1965 Community member Posts: 7 Listener
    You have many people who care for you in this community.l have been through this and feel your pain.whatever happens we will support and fight with you and your husband until you get through this.l see your strength and determination shinning through

  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @cooper1965

    That's lovely!
    Thank you  :)

    I need more people like you, and the community in my life.
    The world would be a better place to live in if we did.

    Thank you again for your kind words.
    Hope all is well with you too? 
    All the best 
    Bev  :)
  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Community member Posts: 5,209 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi bev

    you will always have friends here and as much support as we can give you.

    CR
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good morning how are you?  Wow winter wonderland this morning.  Well I glad I make you laugh, smile I hope you are OK.

    I am a pretty placid sort of guy ,but recently get Mr. Angry due to increasing frustration with every thing our community suffers.  Annoyed with The Government that is putting it politely.  Unfairness of our society, no one ever understands me.  Except my own people our community.

    I am Life Long President of The Grumpy Old Men Club.  Just get sick and tired of why does everything become a scene out of One Foot In The Grave me as Victor.  I need reassurance,  I need if I go to a shop at least be polite and supportive.  Not a faceless person ignoring me,  Whizzing my purchases down some chute.  Damaging the goods.  Cracked eggs, bruised fruit and battered exhausted ego.

    Easy simple tasks become a struggle and made worse as I grow old disgracefully.

    You see even I have a rant and rave, so I have to go on.  Which I do.

    I would just like to say thank you for suggestions.

    I have now said to myself s--d it regarding hearing.  Them the problem not me, not our community.  Who are understanding.  This is an example of how daft, silly NHS services are.  Few years ago went to audiolist in my local town.  Said need aids to hear.  Right sent me to  a town half the world away, why closest one to me shut NHS funding.  Which was a ten minute ride.  Rang up yes made appointment to this clinic far away at early hours of the morning.  Around 8 am .  I was blinking twice got a shock you mean 9 am.  No 8am, how the hell am I going to do this then.  I know I will have to cancel.  Sorry when's next appointment.?

    Silence let you know cut me off.  Several days go by I thought ring again.  Appointment Ah yes well next one is in two weeks time, said wait for it near to 6pm in the evening.  I was stunned from one extreme to the other.  This town more than a hour away.  I am not good driving so that was that.  Just left it.

    I am in pain most days due to addiction history up and about, just like dull aches in legs and back.  I will be OK though.  Have to fight and with a little prayer go on.  You and me are similar so we try and support each other.

    I see you got a fundraising pack from SCOPE.  I believe that could help you.

    I hope what ever you do take care my friend.
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman

    Good morning to you too!
    Yes! The snow is has arrved  :)

    "not many peope can put a smile on my face"  :)

    Yes! I know what you mean.
    I'm a very quite, shy person normally. But I'm just so angry all the time. "Its scary".

    I feel so let down by the governent.
    I was talking to a friend of ours.
    About how I have been on my own since I was 18. "Phyiscally mentally abused" I didn't pass any GCSEs but i have always worked since I left school. And worked, even when I had my 3 children.
    I also joined the special constabulary at age 22. So the question about! did I go to high school? Or did I pass any GCSEs makes me so mad.

    "Grumpy old men " love it.  :)
    That's shocking about the hearing hospital "but doesn' surprise me"

    We just have to help and support each other. I was having a bad day yesterday, but I'm ready to take on the world again.

    Thank you has always for your support.
    Hope you have a lovely calm day.
    Bev 
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Thank you for words and comments very kind.

    There is nothing wrong getting angry.  Every one has these moments of anger.  It is how to use the anger into some thing more positive.  I used to do writing poems and short stories.  In my young days drumming and gym work.

    Stopped doing all of that but continued gym into last year.  Mainly using a bike.  Helped but exhausted.  Get days but use this instead this forum.  Calming techniques.  Classic FM and music, deep breathing, meditation as well.

    All of us had those experiences of why did I do that?.  How did I do that?  If only that had happened.  Done this.  I had the same experience at school not very gifted but knew could pass some subjects.

    Then day of exam arrived all the A plus students arrived I thought what is going on here.  So it turned out they had double entry exams, paid for the exams to sit.

    All of us minor's who had studied hard hollered if they can not do GCSE should have done this.  On reflection went to College late in life got NVQ Level 1 to 4 Business Admin plus loads of minor useful stuff.

    Qualifications which I use for my mental health and addiction.  You see life in the old dog yet.  Do not know this but in my area we have a College called The Recovery College.  Courses are for every one who has a illness, mental or physical.  Funded by NHS and local mental health charities.

    All courses to do with meds, mental health symptoms, life style and other changes like sleep and meeting people.  Perhaps you have some thing like it where you live.  A lot of the courses are adapted for all disabilities plus last time it was all for the ladies.  I was the only gent.

    I enjoy them very much if and when I need to enrol.  All courses are free usually.  Some thing maybe to look at just a suggestion.  Went on several around anxiety helps.

    May I say you got and done things I have not.  You have children I have none, just never really worked out.  Meet ladies and their children.  Treat all like my own.

    Relationships fizzle out and often due to me not being honest about my addiction.

    Hate myself many times for that, lying to cover up.  Then the relationships where again this hard to say being abusive to me horrible times.  No one realised what was going on.  I had my Mother like this.  Now I am in a relationship with a lady who is hurting me mentally, physically.  I had no one to talk to or to tell at the time.

    They say time is a healer.  Been twenty years plus and it is always going to be there.  If I meet some one is she going to be abusive.  Always on my mind constantly.

    I thank you for your support as always.  I am here to listen

    Take care have a calm day

    This grumpy old man is going to try.
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman

    WOW! a drummer, thats awesome. My husband was a roadie sound technition. "A very long time ago"

    I was a bit naughty in school "the class clown" on all my reports it said "easy led by others" lol.
    But having no GCSEs hasn't stopped me getting what I want.
    I did go to college later on in life, and I have now a diploma in floristry, with distinctions throughout. 

    Awww that's good you have found a support group. The lady who came yesterday. Has said she is looking into " finding funding for sign language glases"? I've heard that before.

    No one has the right to beat anyone "physically or verbally" man or woman.
    People like that are not worth the time even thinking about it. I know it's hard "believe me" your better off on your own, without all that.
    You just haven't found that special someone "yet"

    I always say! you can't go back in time, to change the past. You can only learn from it, and make sure you don't do the same, to your loved ones.

    Always here if you need a friend to talk too.
    Bev  :)
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @bevt2017 Good evening I'm back the computer broke down this afternoon .   So old has a handle at the side to wind it up.

    I had really missed you gosh wow back on.  Yes I am a bit of an mystery man one of my lovely friends on the forum told me.  Thank you.

    I am a bit of an entertainer and use my daft silly jokes to give people a laugh. I am sometimes have done it in front of audiences bit of stand up. The days when I had a drink in my hand coping mechanism helps with anxiety then.

    Also if your in a support group nothing like some humour to lighten the load of worry.  I hope and pray when I arrive.  I can feel the tension we all been there.

    Some days you have to I have skits, routines in my head when I go out.  Helps in crowded places.  People look at me weird because I talking to myself .  Reciting some old skit or sketch.

    The drumming started because I was so stressed with living with my family.  I suppose that might imply to you.  Having children and the rest.

    Problem was my Mother I know I said this before.  People who have never experienced living with a person who is a bully or controller.  Had a say powerful dominate every ounce of my life.

    Fro what I wore to what I eat how I sat spoke.  Those that have know what I am talking about.  Every day for probably twenty plus years.

    One example this would drive you nuts and get you mad.  So we the family going out for a meal about 8pm.  Tables booked we ready to go.

    She's laid the table why well you need something to eat.  We are at 8pm no now.  Hang if we eat now won't be able to eat at 8pm.

    So this went on.  Trying to stuff food in to people who want to leave for a family meal at 8pm.

    So off we go eventually get there she says my Mother not hungry.  We are.  Do not want anything she says and so it goes on.  All of us eating her not.  Some of these cafe's and bistro's are Italian and French.  These people offended.  Argument's ensued so it goes on.

    Guess what get home around 11pm I 'm hungry now she says.  You will be you had nothing to eat.  I exclaimed.  Like living in a Carry on Film or a Giles Cartoon.

    That is one small example why I started drumming.

    I told a therapist one time over 10 weeks I believe.  He said every morning wrap a towel around your hand and hit it hard against a wall.  Only solution to that.  If I had lived with your Mother being her partner divorce papers on the table.

    Still remember him saying that.

    Thank you for thinking of me of my problems in relationships.

    One of the issues I have had is disclosing my health history.

    Said this other day, we have a pub culture and if I say or do mention don't drink.  Every one thinks something wrong.

    I hope you keep safe in the cold weather

    Always here if unless I have to wind up the computer again.

    Take care




    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman  

    Sorry for the late reply, I've missed our little chats.
    I took some sleeping pills last night, and I'm still half a sleep. "I keep knoding off" lol.  :)

    I Hope you are feeling better today my friend. "Mystery man"

    I'm sorry your mother put you through so much. Mine was never around, she worked in a home for abussed children. I was abused everyday by her husband. She just played mined games with me "Horrible people"

    I can understand your frustration, maybe I would of suggested something else. "Other than hiiting a wall". When I had councilling about my child hood. She told me to write a letter, about the abuse I had to endure. When I had finished the letter. She told me to either put it some were safe, burn it, or send it to her. "I sent it"

    I knew a lady who I went to collage with. who told me it' was so hard to meet men, because she doesn't drink. 
    That's society for you I guess?

    How are you feeling today? 
    I hope your having a better day.

    Always here if you need a friend
    Bev  :)

Brightness