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Grieving

smiler43smiler43 Posts: 33Member Connected
Hi I am 43 yrs old female who had a brain tumour medulloblastoma two years ago .
I have become dissbled although I don't know if i am disabled or have disabilities? I walk with a four wheel walker and have balance problems i have a few problems which if have mentioned In  a previous post . My question is how do you come to terms accept what's happened ? before my ops I used to be not be disabled I could eat drink normally no problems with balance or speech ,vision etc. 
I keep longing for the old me to come back but I'm not sure I will ever get back to how i was before the ops  . I get memories of the old me often especially when chatting to old friends and family  who knew me before.
Maybe these memories will never go I can't just erase my life before some carers think I will 
Get back to how i used to be but  not sure I will I can get stronger . How do i deal with this??

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Replies

  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Posts: 2,891Member Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome and I can empathise. We all have to find different help we need at different times in our lives. It’s really hard for someone on the outside to give you the right advice, apart from perhaps go to your gp and ask them for advice. Yes I understand grieving for the old me, I do that a lot. But just like grieving for someone whose died, it gets better with time and it’s different for everyone. I had a traumatic incident leading to a long period of poor physical and mental health and losing my identity in many ways including stopping work. It’s taken me years to get to a point where I know I am different now. Mindfulness has helped me a lot as it’s about living in the moment, in the present. Just like I still go to phone my late mum, I still have moments where I expect me to be the old me. But I’m only human, so are you. I hope you find some help and advice here. 


    I am a fibrowarrior!
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Posts: 5,246Community champion Disability Gamechanger
    I am still me, just that I am wearing a set of clothes that I didn't pick. Its the uniform of a very select club that I have joined so I will get used to them

    CR
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • charlenecharlene Posts: 555Member Pioneering
    Hello Debbiedoo.  My mum died a few years back, and at times I still get up thinking I will go and visit her.  

    I try try to live in the moment, and take each day as it comes.
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • smiler43smiler43 Posts: 33Member Connected
    hi thank you for all replys I will look into mindfulness Debbiedo49.
    Hi  Charlene my mum always said me one day at a time I am lucky yo be here really 
  • charlenecharlene Posts: 555Member Pioneering
    Life can be so tough at times smiler, I am always amazed at the human spirit, and how resilient it is.  you are amongst friends here. 
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Posts: 2,891Member Disability Gamechanger
    @smiler43 just coming up to 9 years since my mum passed wnen my son was 9. She was like a second mum to him. We try to remember her birthday March 28 rather than her passing., she used to say that too, one day at a time, just like lena martell lol. Another song she liked was This Little Light of Mine I m Gonna Let it Shine. So I try to do that, and encourage others to do thst. @charlene you are so right. Ps try YouTube for mindfulness or find out about it online. 


    I am a fibrowarrior!
  • smiler43smiler43 Posts: 33Member Connected
    Hi will try mindfulness will look on U tube I tried chair Pilates which is good may speak to management about starting a little group here on it as quite a few residents here would like it x 
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