problem getting an erection — Scope | Disability forum
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problem getting an erection

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Poorboy
Poorboy Community member Posts: 1 Listener
in Dating, sex, and relationships
Hi there I am in a wheelchair the problem is that I can't get a erecting I have tried every thing from tablet to a pump nothing works 
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  • PSHEexpert
    PSHEexpert Community member Posts: 170 Pioneering
    edited October 2017
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    Thank you for your incredibly honest post. This is more common than people realise, I think, and there are a couple of points to make. The first is that it's not fair (or realistic) that there's so much focus for men on having a reliable erection to have sex! It shouldn't be the be all and end all, although unfortunately I realise that that's how we are often conditioned to think about it. For example can you still enjoy sexual touch, stimulation, intimacy? 
    - Gill 
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  • jas457
    jas457 Community member Posts: 3 Connected
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    I don't always get an erection when I'm having sex but I do seem to get one say 24hrs later I have Spina Bifida which is a spinal problem I have wondered about taking viagra before having sex but didn't know if their would be any other symptoms that didn't agree with my body I'm also a wheelchair user
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  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,671 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @jas457
    This is something you should speak to your doctor about to make sure that it is safe for you to use.  

    There is a great information leaflet here about sex and spina bifida for men and the Spina Bifida website has a helpline you can call on 0845 450 7755

    I hope this helps :)
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
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  • mossycow
    mossycow Scope Member Posts: 500 Pioneering
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    There I are many many options and ideas out there.... The best place to access I reckon is your gp. They will check underlying causes, that may or may not be related to on going conditions. And they will help you keep safe when trying medications etc.

    You would probably be referred to a specialist who treats the same kind of stuff day in and day out.... No need to be concerned or embarrassed ☺ We all have bits and bobs! 

    It may take some time but there are many different solutions and it may be a case of seeing what works for you. 

    Also, buying drugs without prescription is a total gamble. Expensive, potentially dangerous.... Nah, go through NHS.

    But yeah, disabled sex is creative sex and creative sex can be awesome and very satisfying sex. It can also be occasionally frustrating, sad, annoying.... But also quite funny.... But whether alone, with different partners or a long time partner... It's all about the experiences and gaining confidence, experimenting.... 

    May I also suggest 'home grown' ideas such as playing with fantasy (whether your own, partners, online, books etc).... Using toys to help where physical disability creates limits, using scent (if you use the same moisturiser/scent/candle etc when chilled, romantic and getting busy.... That smell will then remind you of that each time.....)  visual stimulation, touch, sound...   Taking off he pressure and just enjoying that time together or alone rather than focusing on erection, penetration and orgasm.. Might ironically help with all of those. 

    Take some time to collect some.... How do I put this... Online encouragement? .... In a safe place, In a safe and legal way..... Fun to share......? 


    But dude, honestly, you are not alone. And not without hope. 

    Wishing you look dude, and, if you're comfortable, do say how it's going... Or.... How you are feeling. 



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  • unclesam
    unclesam Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    The problem seems to have both physiological and psychological connection. Regarding psychological connection, don't think too much about it. Time can recover many wounds. Regarding physiological connection, i think any sort of physical exercise exercise under your current condition will help.
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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 2 Listener
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    Am a paraplegic since my accident. I can get a erection in a minute and stay erect for 1 hr. I don't drink or smoke and never take Viagra x
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