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Does my use of a mobility scooter mean I must be brain dead too?

I may be becoming paranoid but why is it that so many people seem to think that because my legs won't work then neither must my brain?  I'm sure they are really only offering help, even though it isn't needed or asked for and that I can usually sort out most situations without their assistance.  Their well-meaning intentions by jumping in and "taking control" is driving me mad and really is causing me problems in trying my short-fused impatience to the limit.  One of the worst offenders is a gentleman who has been a good friend for over 50 years and I do not want to spoil this relationship by over-reacting.   Does anyone out there have similar problems or is it my wish to remain as independent as possible that is aggravating the situation?


Best wishes.

DLTBGYD

Replies

  • dkb123dkb123 Posts: 40Member Connected
    I am afraid it does , the Does he take sugar situation still prevails .
    You said your friend of 50 years does not understand , but if you talk to him and he is your friend ,then I am sure you can have an honest conversation with him without affecting  your relationship  
  • MisscleoMisscleo Posts: 551Member Pioneering
    Think your self lucky you have people who want to help you.
    Loads of disabled people get no help from family or freinds
    And yes we still get the you must be brain dead if your legs dont work thing 
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Posts: 5,858Member Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks for sharing this @exdvr, I can certainly relate and I'm sure many others will too! As you say, I'm sure these things are said/done with the best of intentions, which can sometimes make it all the more difficult to address, but perhaps it might be worth trying to explain how you feel to the good friend you mentioned?
  • newbornnewborn Posts: 240Member Pioneering
    Yes. (!)   And, older people are invariably senile, and, just like 'crips', they enjoy remaining endlessly in a sitting position, "all the better to pat you on the head, dear."
  • newbornnewborn Posts: 240Member Pioneering
    P.s. As misscleo and others are saying, and you accepted yourself, it is well meant, and has to be dealt with patiently. 

    The thing is, the public's vague ( and not very well informed)  goodwill is  a hard won  store belonging to all disabled people, so it isn't a personal right of any one of us to squander it or destroy it.  There are some  people, for instance,   getting grumpy about having doors held open for them, or seats offered, which they personally don't require. 

     But if they grin and  bear it, with a smile and a thank you,  then they are 'doing their bit for charity' by making those door-holders feel gratified, and the  next time someone  looks as if they need help, it will be someone who really does need it, and they will get it.    That will indirectly be all thanks to the long suffering patience of someone like you, who has carefully hidden the irritation umpteen times.

    (One possible useful phrase, smiling of course, is "  I'm  fine, but it was good of you to offer, thank you.")
  • TopkittenTopkitten Posts: 944Member Pioneering
    I have found that the "brain dead" assumptions are worse when I am in a wheelchair than when I use a scooter. Perhaps they think that moving a scooter takes more brain power than moving a wheelchair?

    I have spent a lot of time with other disabled using wheelchairs, sticks or frames sometimes combined with scooter use and also those in electric wheelchairs and have seen the varying levels of patronising which oddly has varied by the method of transport rather than the person themselves. It often leads people into various states of frustration rather than being generally helpful.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • wilkowilko Posts: 1,733Member Disability Gamechanger
    I've never came across this situation yet being a mobility scooter user for nearly two years now, people do offer to open gates or ask to but I tell them thank you but I need to keep mobile or I stiffen up. Manners politeness is and should be part of ever bodies lives whether its towards a disabled person or not. A sure sign how you where brought up.
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